Our heroes sense that something isn’t right with the wizard.
Transcript is below the cut!
HANNAH
Hi everyone! Hannah here. This episode of Inn Between is brought to you with help from a fantastic podcast called The Ordinary Epic. (quick pause) Not that they gave us money or anything—this is an ad swap, let’s be clear, I just personally (laughing) glean a lot of strength? From their show? If you like shows that are ostensibly about groups of adventurers making mischief but mostly about friendship—and if you listen to Inn Between I would guess that you do—then you’ll love The Ordinary Epic. Be advised, they do occasionally cuss a swear. Stick around afterward to hear about them, but until then…let’s go to the inn.
Brief silence.
TESSA
Previously, on Inn Between…
Theme song.
FINA
I died? What do you mean, I died?
LADY DARIA
Haven’t you heard, dear one? There’s been a coup. The king is dead.
STERLING
…He’s what?
MELTYRE
But…what about my sisters?
Theme song plays, and ends. Fade in to quiet tavern sounds. It’s not busy today.
MELTYRE
So it’s, what, a week and a half’s ride to the palace? That-that should give us enough time to come up with a plan.
STERLING
It’ll be difficult. We don’t have any proof that the king promised to release your sisters once we defeated the Bone King.
MELTYRE
Right, so we’ll need information on the guy who led the coup. What did you say his name was again?
STERLING
Lord Charles Denetrah.
FINA
Isn’t that guy your cousin?
STERLING
My mother’s cousin. Mine once removed. And it’s not as though we’re close. Technically the king is my cousin too.
BETTY
Was your cousin.
STERLING
Yes, I suppose so.
(getting angry)
Because Lord Charles is a seditious, disloyal upstart, and every single person who helped him with this act of utter treachery ought to be hung up by their thumbs and shot full of—
FINA
We get it, you’re a royalist. Relax. (pause) Although, why?
STERLING
Why what? Why do I defend the honor of my king?
FINA
Yeah. You can’t tell me you liked the guy.
STERLING
It’s the principle of the matter.
FINA
He tried to send us to our deaths. Because he was cheap.
VELUNE
I must say, he did his best to make himself unlikable. I’ve never met someone so paranoid.
BETTY
You’re not paranoid if people are really out to get you.
VELUNE
Touché.
STERLING
He’s still the king!
FINA
Point of order? No he isn’t.
STERLING
Well then, you ought not speak ill of the dead.
FINA
Why not? If anyone’s gonna do it, should be me, right? I’m recently dead. They’re practically my people.
VELUNE
Enough of that, please.
MELTYRE
Yeah, we should probably get back to planning.
BETTY
Can you get me a drink first?
MELTYRE
Uh…yeah, sure, I guess. (chair scoot) Anyone else?
FINA
I’ll take one if you’re buying.
BETTY
I’m buying. (coins clink)
FINA
As long as it’s not me.
MELTYRE
All right.
Footsteps walking away.
VELUNE
Why did you—
BETTY
Why isn’t Meltyre worried?
Pause.
FINA
Oh. Now that’s a good question.
VELUNE
Now that you mention it…he is acting a bit odd.
FINA
A bit? Why isn’t he panicking?
BETTY
Like a chicken.
FINA
Oh, good simile, sweetheart.
VELUNE
Surely he’s not unconcerned about his sisters.
FINA
Now c’mon, Friar, we know better than that. He was ready to die for them.
VELUNE
Then why so cool-headed now?
STERLING
Perhaps he’s grown past the need for hysterics when there’s danger. We’ve certainly faced more than our fair share of trouble. (proudly) He’s grown brave, and I think that’s laudable.
Pause.
FINA
Yeah, okay, so what really happened?
STERLING
You don’t believe he could have lost some of his fear?
FINA
Some of his fear, maybe, but he wasn’t exactly in short supply before. He’s more relaxed than Velune.
VELUNE
Unlikely.
STERLING
Then what, he’s putting on a brave face?
BETTY
No, that’s not it.
STERLING
And you know that how?
BETTY
You can’t tell?
VELUNE
If he’s genuinely not worried, perhaps he knows something we don’t. He’s very sharp.
STERLING
Why wouldn’t he tell us what he knows?
FINA
Yeah, that doesn’t make any sense.
BETTY
He’s coming back.
Footsteps coming closer, and a chair scoot and a couple glasses set down as Meltyre speaks.
MELTYRE
Here you go. (pause) Why are you all staring at me?
VELUNE
(carefully)
How are you…feeling, Meltyre?
MELTYRE
Uh…fine?
VELUNE
(disbelieving)
Really.
MELTYRE
…Yeah, what’s this about?
FINA
You don’t feel nervous? Maybe a little overwhelmed with anxiety?
MELTYRE
I’m starting to…
STERLING
We don’t understand why you’re not more worried about your sisters.
MELTYRE
…Oh.
FINA
We know they’re not in any real danger, but still, we expected—
STERLING
They may yet be.
VELUNE
I beg your pardon?
STERLING
It depends on how thorough a job Lord Charles is doing in removing the king’s influence. And so far, according to my mother, he’s killed quite a few people—
VELUNE
Sterling!
FINA
But he kept the princess alive.
STERLING
Of course he did. He doesn’t have a legitimate claim on the throne. He’s claimed stewardship until she’s of age.
BETTY
The princess is a puppet.
STERLING
I’m afraid so. Lord Charles will want to eliminate any vestige of power he believes the king had.
VELUNE
(sharply)
Sterling, stop. In front of Meltyre?
MELTYRE
(quietly)
I already know all that.
Tense brief silence.
FINA
But…you’re okay.
MELTYRE
No. I’m not.
FINA
You seem to be doing all right to me.
MELTYRE
Jeez, I can’t—Look, I can’t think about this too hard, okay? I can’t even—consider the possibility that something happened to my sisters. If I do, I’ll lose it, and then I’ll be useless to them. And to you.
STERLING
You’re just…not thinking about it?
MELTYRE
At the moment.
FINA
Meltyre. Serious question here. How do you get your brain to do that?
MELTYRE
I’m not really sure.
VELUNE
For how long, do you suppose?
MELTYRE
(shakily)
I…I don’t know.
VELUNE
Eventually you’ll have to face your fears.
MELTYRE
Can’t it be after I save my sisters?
VELUNE
You’ve stood up in the face of terrifying odds before.
MELTYRE
Velune, please don’t ask me to consider that my sisters have been…
(voice breaks)
…have been killed, for political reasons that had nothing to do with them.
VELUNE
How will we make a plan of action if we refuse consider one of the possibilities?
FINA
Jeez, Velune, that’s—
MELTYRE
No plan’s going to be perfect, okay? And I can’t think about it, I-I just can’t!
VELUNE
Why not?
MELTYRE
Because it would be my fault! This whole thing is my fault! If I hadn’t—I could’ve got a job as a clerk or something, and they’d be okay! They wouldn’t be caught up in all this and in imminent danger all the time! I did this!
A pause as this sinks in.
VELUNE
That was what I was afraid of.
MELTYRE
Well great! Now I’m afraid of it too! Thanks.
STERLING
Meltyre, you’re wrong.
MELTYRE
Excuse me?
STERLING
You didn’t do this.
MELTYRE
You of all people should understand that I’m responsible…
STERLING
Of course you’re responsible for your sisters. But there was no way you could have stopped the king, not without putting yourself and them in peril, as you well know.
MELTYRE
But if I’d never gone adventuring—
STERLING
Then perhaps the kingdom’s taxes would have starved you out in a year. Or the Bone King’s forces would have stormed your village. Or something else would have happened.
FINA
An invasion. An earthquake.
BETTY
A plague.
FINA
It’s not like you could have foreseen this little predicament.
MELTYRE
If something happened to them—if Lord Charles killed them, h-how could I forgive myself?
VELUNE
You can’t forgive someone who’s done nothing wrong.
FINA
And anyways, that’s where we come in.
MELTYRE
What?
BETTY
We hold him down, and you blow him to bits.
FINA
If Lord Charles touched a hair on their heads, he’s a dead man.
STERLING
Revenge, Fina?
FINA
Call it justice if it makes you feel better. We’ll take down the whole charade. You said it yourself! He’s got no legitimate claim on the throne.
STERLING
You really want to get that involved in the politics of the kingdom?
FINA
We’re not getting involved in politics, we’ll just be killing a…
(now she gets it)
…nefarious…usurper…okay, yeah, I see what you’re saying.
STERLING
That sort of…justice…will also require extensive planning. Do we want to complicate matters further?
VELUNE
I think Meltyre should decide, if he’s up to it.
MELTYRE
What, me? Really?
VELUNE
Well, yes. Should the worst happen, it would be your vengeance we’ll be enacting.
FINA
Yeah, your sisters, your call.
MELTYRE
Gods. I….
(pause)
I can’t…lead you into my fights. Especially if there’s politics involved. Things could go really bad, really fast. There’s no reason for y’all to help me with this.
VELUNE
Meltyre, you’re our friend.
STERLING
We helped get you into this situation. It only seems right that we help get you out again.
FINA
I got nothing better to do.
BETTY
(chuckles)
FINA
Nah, but seriously, we’re sticking with you, kid.
MELTYRE
Okay. (pause) Thank you.
VELUNE
Of course.
FINA
What do you say, then, magic man? Are we leading a coup against a coup?
Brief silence.
MELTYRE
That’s just…such a terrible idea. We’d have to fight an entire army.
FINA
We’ve done that before, it’s fine.
MELTYRE
And what if we do overthrow Lord Charles? who do we put in charge, the princess?
STERLING
She is the only person with a legitimate claim.
BETTY
She’s a kid.
MELTYRE
There’s got to be a better way than this.
VELUNE
What do you have in mind?
MELTYRE
I don’t know, I…we need more information first. Sterling?
STERLING
Yes?
MELTYRE
Tell me everything you know about Lord Charles Denetrah.
STERLING
Gladly.
TESSA
Next time, on Inn Between…
Theme song.
FINA
I don’t see any way around it, kid.
VELUNE
She’s right.
MELTYRE
Fine…then plan A is to just…ask?
FINA
What could go wrong?
Credits:
Episode 2.2, “The Fear,” was written and directed by Hannah Wright, with assistant director William Wright. The show is produced and edited by Katherine Ayers.
The voice of Sterling is Marquis Dijon Archuleta; the voice of Betty is Kaleigh Christopher; the voice of Fina is Riley Jones; the voice of Velune is Kira Mills; and the voice of Meltyre is Austin Mowat.
Fina’s guitar is played by Eli Isbell, and our theme song is by Eli McIlveen.
Transcripts for this and every episode can be found on our website, thegoblinshead.com. Find and follow us on twitter, @inn underscore between underscore, or support us on patreon, at patreon.com/thegoblinshead.
If you like our show, hire a skywriter to trace your feelings into the heavens, or leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. Thanks for listening!
Theme song ends.
Brief pause, followed by a promo for The Ordinary Epic. Music begins, a low, forboding, adventurous tune, primarily strings.
ATHENA
(a declarative, decisive voice)
The buyer awaits your decision, poised as one both ready for a fight and assured of its outcome.
BUYER
(Athena’s voice)
I’ll have that relic now.
THACK
(a growling, high-pitched voice)
Thack hope pretty boy have more healing. We gonna need it.
MERRICK
(a lighthearted voice)
You guys might. One of you dies and I’m running for it. So don’t?
CAELUS
(a sage, prim voice)
We’ll have to use every advantage, and we’ve not many left.
MARCUS
(a pleasant, low-pitched voice)
So I’m confused. What am I supposed to say to him?
Music stops with a click.
EMO
(Thak’s voice, without the grit)
Marcus, it’s a role-playing game.
MARCUS
Right.
EMO
So you’re this holy guy: Benedict.
MARCUS
Right.
EMO
And he’s just joined this adventuring party.
MARCUS
Right. (quick pause) Why…?
DOMINIC
(Caelus’ voice, but annoyed)
Because we needed someone to heal us and not ask questions.
EMO
Dom!
DOMINIC
What!
DANIEL
(Merrick’s voice, with less confidence)
(earnestly)
Any reason you want, Marcus. That’s the great thing about this game—you can be anyone you want. Do anything you want, for any reason, so long as it’s true to your character.
MARCUS
Cool. I totally got this.
DOMINIC
(growing alarm)
Wait, but—
Music resumes.
BENEDICT
(Marcus’ voice, with gravity and polish)
This artifact belongs to my church, and as such, I cannot part with it for any price.
The buyer laughs threateningly. The sound of many blades being drawn.
BENEDICT
…Uh. What did I say?
BUYER
Kill them all!
Battle sounds—a crash, a thud, a magic whoosh, a person going oof—which crash out into a triumphant song, mainly horns. The Ordinary Epic’s theme song.
VOICEOVER
The Ordinary Epic: a podcast series about the extraordinary, the ordinary, and something in between. Listen now at TheOrdinaryEpic.com.
Song continues, and ends. End transcript.