Our heroes celebrate what it means to be family.
Transcript is below the cut!
TESSA
Oh, hello, listeners. Tessa here, to thank a patron. We are very grateful to Sheree Robinson for her support of Inn Between. Although I do not exactly understand the transaction that is taking place, I understand that thanks to patrons like Sheree, we can keep making the show. If you’d like to help, please go to patreon.com/thegoblinshead, which is a very strange address indeed—is the slash meant to suggest danger? Please be careful, adventurers! Sheree must be a fierce warrior indeed.
Anyhow, on with the show!
Brief pause.
TESSA
Previously, on Inn Between…
Theme song.
BETTY
I have to help my fellow orcs. It’s my duty as chief.
GROMADAK
This half-orc pretender can never be the leader we need.
STERLING
As if you have any choice.
BETTY
(echoing slightly; making a speech)
Zedarg! Gredekah bittar!
ORCS
(roars and battlecries)
Theme song fades into tavern sounds.
GROMADAK
A toast! To the chief of the Triguut, who led us to victory! To Betty!
ALL
(the gang plus many others)
To Betty!
Glasses clinking, laughter and cheers. In the background of the main conversation, several orcs can be heard conversing in gruff, cheerful voices.
FINA
Now that was fun.
STERLING
I believe I understand now, why orcs like fighting so much. It’s the way they fight.
VELUNE
A sort of joyful experience! Almost worshipful.
BETTY
It is worshipful. Of Gruumsh. We live, we fight, we die for his glory.
VELUNE
That’s downright reverent.
FINA
Don’t act so surprised. Betty takes this stuff seriously.
STERLING
As well she should. You led like a queen today.
MELTYRE
Like a chief.
BETTY
(pleased)
That’s right.
MELTYRE
So your clan, the Triguut. Who you’re chief of.
BETTY
Yeah?
MELTYRE
Where are they?
Awkward silence.
FINA
Meltyre, maybe—
GROMADAK
(with footsteps)
Chief.
BETTY
Gromadak?
GROMADAK
I owe you an apology.
BETTY
…All right.
GROMADAK
I came to you desperate, but I had no respect. I dishonored you and therefore my clan, and…I’m sorry.
BETTY
Apology accepted.
GROMADAK
(almost bashful)
Buy you a drink?
BETTY
Sure.
Chair scoot, and two pairs of heavy footsteps walking away.
FINA
Oooooo! He likes her!
STERLING
Well she did help rescue his clan in a desperate hour.
VELUNE
Sterling, don’t be dense.
STERLING
…Oh.
FINA
Do you guys realize what a big deal that was?
MELTYRE
What was? A-apologizing?
FINA
Yeah, in front of us? In Common? That takes guts. He wanted to impress her.
VELUNE
Ah, that does make sense.
FINA
I have to hear this. Meltyre, you have a spell that can listen in, right?
MELTYRE
Yeah, but shouldn’t—
FINA
Do it.
MELTYRE
That’s kind of messed up.
VELUNE
I must admit, I’m curious.
FINA
C’mon please, please please please please—
MELTYRE
But I’ll be the only one who hears them.
FINA
(sweetly)
Then you’ll relay it to us, won’t you?
MELTYRE
I’m not sure—
FINA
Meltyre c’mooon, trust me. And hurry, I’m missing it.
MELTYRE
Ugh, fine.
(a magical zing)
Uh, they’re speaking Orcish.
FINA
You speak Orcish, go on!
MELTYRE
Yeah, a little, but—
FINA
C’mon, what are you waiting for?
STERLING
Isn’t it rude to eavesdrop?
FINA
Ssh, pretty boy, I can’t hear you, I’m eavesdropping.
MELTYRE
Um, Gromadak’s complimenting her…arms, I think?
FINA
As well he should, they’re magnificent.
MELTYRE
She says he’s not so bad himself. Fina, this seems weird.
FINA
Less editorializing, magic man.
MELTYRE
They’re just talking about their favorite parts of the battle, I don’t know what you’re looking for.
FINA
(dreamily)
That’s adorable.
STERLING
Is it?
FINA
They’re orcs! Of course it is.
MELTYRE
Oh, uh—hang on. Gromadak’s saying he’s up for chief of the Zedarg.
STERLING
Rightfully so, he fought valiantly.
MELTYRE
Yeah, yeah, but he’s saying he’s considering forfeiting it.
FINA
Oh? Is he now?
STERLING
I don’t understand, why would he do that? Surely he’d want to lead his people.
MELTYRE
He says…he’s asking about the Triguut. He’s saying…what a shame it was.
VELUNE
A shame?
FINA
Ohhh. Um? You know, maybe you guys were right, maybe we shouldn’t listen in…
MELTYRE
Now I don’t get this, something was stolen from them?
FINA
Seriously, maybe you should drop the spell.
STERLING
What was stolen?
MELTYRE
Uh…the word’s like…opportunity? To die?
VELUNE
And what is Betty saying?
MELTYRE
She’s not saying anything. I think she’s angry.
FINA
Oh man, he shouldn’t have mentioned that.
STERLING
Why not? Mention what?
MELTYRE
Hang on…she says he’s…so good at fighting what’s in front of him he’s…forgotten what it’s like to fight an enemy that’s a part of him…what is she talking about?
VELUNE
Fina?
FINA
(reluctantly)
Hoo, mmm. You…you gotta understand, she hates talking about this—we were friends for years before she told me. I don’t think she’d like it if you knew.
STERLING
Knew what?
MELTYRE
She’s saying…her clan fought with every shred of themselves. Down to the last…child. Oh my gods.
VELUNE
(deliberately)
Fina. What happened?
FINA
(this is hard to say)
Look, um…When Betty was like, your age, Meltyre, this awful…plague thing, it swept through her entire clan. Everyone died. Everyone.
STERLING
My gods.
MELTYRE
Betty’s saying the courage…the courage it takes to fight your own body isn’t something he could understand.
VELUNE
By Pelor.
STERLING
How did Betty survive?
FINA
She’s half-orc. Apparently whatever that sickness was, she was immune.
MELTYRE
So she’s chief by default?
FINA
Yeah. She’s the only Triguut left. She um…she had to watch her whole clan die.
Sober silence.
STERLING
What’s Gromadak got to say?
MELTYRE
He’s uh…he says…he can see he’s got a lot to learn about courage.
FINA
Huh.
MELTYRE
And that he thinks she could teach him? He’s…oh, c’mon.
FINA
What?
MELTYRE
He offered to help rebuild the clan. I’m gonna drop the spell now.
FINA
No wait! I want to hear what she says!
MELTYRE
This is creepy now! I-it was creepy before too, but now it’s really creepy!
FINA
C’mon, please?
MELTYRE
No, I’m not gonna…oh.
FINA
What??
MELTYRE
She says she’s already got a clan.
VELUNE
Oh?
FINA
Ha. I knew it.
MELTYRE
What is she talking about?
STERLING
They’re looking over here.
FINA
Act natural!
MELTYRE
(panicked)
Wh-how?!
FINA
Don’t worry, you’ve never acted natural in your life, just be you.
MELTYRE
(incoherent whimpering)
STERLING
They’re not looking anymore, it’s fine. (pause) I don’t understand.
MELTYRE
He says he can see that…her clan is strong.
VELUNE
Oh, I see.
STERLING
What?
VELUNE
I believe we are her clan.
MELTYRE
He says if she ever changes her mind, she knows where to find him, and she says she’ll remember that…and I’m dropping the spell now. (magic zing) We probably shouldn’t have done that.
FINA
Who’s we? You cast the spell.
MELTYRE
C’mon, Fina, I’m serious.
STERLING
He’s right.
FINA
Eh, fine. Don’t tell her I told you, okay? She’s…like I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t kill me, but even so.
STERLING
Why keep this a secret?
FINA
It’s not a secret, if you happen to be an orc. These people all know.
STERLING
It’s no wonder she hangs about with us, then.
MELTYRE
If we’re her clan…what does that mean? Like, do we have responsibilities?
VELUNE
You could ask just about anyone in this inn, I think.
STERLING
Does she think she’s the leader? I’m not sure I like that.
FINA
No, guys—she’s happy with the way things are. Don’t do anything dumb. Just let her be.
VELUNE
Here she comes now.
Stomping footsteps. She is alone. A chair scoot as she sits, and a brief silence.
BETTY
Why are you all so quiet?
STERLING
We were just talking about…uh… (floundering) Um?
FINA
(aside)
Seriously, Sterling?
MELTYRE
…Aarakocra.
VELUNE
(mispronouncing)
Yes, aarakocra.
STERLING
(mispronouncing, but in a different way)
Ah, yes, thank you, Meltyre. For that information. On aarakocra.
MELTYRE
Sure. Don’t…mention it.
FINA
(whispering)
Oh my gods.
BETTY
I fought some aarakocra once.
VELUNE
(relieved)
Did you now?
FINA
Oh, yeah, that bar fight up in the mountains.
BETTY
Yep.
FINA
You should have seen her, she was flinging them across the room, feathers flying everywhere, squawking like plucked chickens—
STERLING
Gods, what did they do to deserve that?
BETTY
They weren’t very nice.
FINA
They were also very…very stupid.
VELUNE
I’d like to hear this story.
FINA
With Betty’s permission, I will tell it.
BETTY
Go on, then.
FINA
My pleasure. Allow me to set the scene.
(plays an upbeat, swashbuckling tune; as she delivers the line, she fades out)
This is the story of how a brave and giant warrior used her fists where words had failed, and sent a set of feathered fiends south for the winter. Betty and Yours Truly had traveled long and far, and sought respite in a tavern far from here, along the peaks of the Clagghern Mountains. Little did we know that we were not welcome in that place…
Theme song.
TESSA
Next time, on Inn Between…
VELUNE
Not a lot is known about the Wood of Woe.
FINA
None of the stories that come out of that place make any sense.
MELTYRE
So that’s where we’re going. Of course.
End.
Credits:
Episode 2.6, “The Chief,” was written and directed by Hannah Wright, with assistant director William Wright. The show is produced and edited by Katherine Ayers. Recording assistance by Brendon Bennet.
The voice of Sterling is Marquis Dijon Archuleta; the voice of Betty is Kaleigh Christopher; the voice of Fina is Riley Jones; the voice of Velune is Kira Mills; and the voice of Meltyre is Austin Mowat.
This episode featured the voice of Vladimir “Vladibear” Gabatel as Gromadak. Special thanks to each and every one of our background orcs: Jarred Worley, Chris Magilton, Max Kreisky, Jack Pevyhouse, Strider Leigh, Mads Upton, Lee Davis-Thalbourne, Amanda McColgan, and Drew Gover.
Fina’s guitar is played by Eli Isbell, and our theme song is by Eli McIlveen.
Transcripts for this and every episode can be found on our website, thegoblinshead.com. Find and follow us on twitter, @inn_between_, or support us on patreon, at patreon.com/thegoblinshead.
If you like our show, take up an axe and fight for what you believe in! Or leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. Thanks for listening!
Theme song ends. Tavern sounds.
TESSA
Why yes! I will refill your three dozen drinks! Just a moment…I love orcs.
End.