Our heroes encounter a ghost from the past.
Transcript is below the cut!
HANNAH
Hi everyone! Hannah here—thank you for listening to Inn Between. Just a couple of quick announcements before we start today’s episode, which I’m very excited for you to hear—
First of all, the bad news is that we’re going to take a quick hiatus, just a couple weeks off. Instead of having an episode on the 23rd, we’ll be coming back on November 6th. Don’t worry, there will be a little bit of behind-the-scenes bonus content to tide you over. We just need a little extra time because I just moved and—oh yeah the good news!
I am lucky enough to be able to go to PodTales, an audio drama festival in Cambridge, Massachusetts on October 20th. If you can go, you should, it’s totally free. I’ll be volunteering most of the morning, but if you see me, feel free to say hi.
Now that all the business is out of the way…let’s go to the inn.
Brief pause.
TESSA
Previously, on Inn Between…
Theme song.
STERLING
The story goes that Dame Avaline is trapped in the Wood of Woe.
TESSA
The whole wood is rife with fey magic!
VELUNE
Welcome to the town of Cutthroat.
FINA
Hm. Seedy. Looks fun.
Tavern sounds. A little more ribald today than usual. Shuffling as our heroes sit down.
FINA
Wow, this town is something else.
STERLING
Tessa seems to be doing well today.
VELUNE
Shall I retrieve drinks for us?
FINA
Yeah, please, if you’re buying. (chuckles)
BETTY
Give up the cash.
FINA
Boo. (coins clinking)
VELUNE
Right then.
(footsteps walking away)
MELTYRE
Are we sure we should stay here?
BETTY
We could go camping.
STERLING
It’s still the Goblin’s Head. How dangerous can it be?
BETTY
(disappointed)
Aww.
FINA
Meltyre’s right about the town, though. Someone tried to pickpocket me on the way in.
BETTY
(angry)
Who?
FINA
Slow your roll, sweetheart, they didn’t get anything but a handful of my experimental turpentine balloons.
STERLING
Oh. Is that what that smell is?
MELTYRE
Why would you fill them with turpentine? Who just carries around turpentine?
Footsteps in the background, coming closer.
FINA
I always have turpentine. It’s handy.
WALRITT
(a gritty but friendly voice with a Cockney-adjacent accent)
Excuse me, adventurers, may I have a moment of your time?
FINA
Sure, I guess.
STERLING
What can we do for you, friend elf?
WALRITT
I am Walritt, a purveyor of fine goods from near and far. You lot have the look of people who appreciate high quality magic items.
FINA
Do we now?
MELTYRE
What kind of magic items?
WALRITT
Are we an aspiring wizard, then, young sir?
MELTYRE
Uh—
STERLING
Aspiring? I’ll have you know—
MELTYRE
Yeah, I’m still learning. Do you mind if I see?
WALRITT
I’d be glad to show you.
Various clinks and moving sounds.
FINA
(under her breath)
What’s your game, magic man? This guy looks sleazy.
MELTYRE
(whispered)
Just go with it.
WALRITT
Behold, adventurers, a selection of the best magical items this side of the Clagghern Mountains. See this here, this rope?
BETTY
Regular rope? With glitter?
WALRITT
Ah, to the untrained eye, perhaps, but as it happens, this rope is a magic snaking rope. Just a few words, and it leaps into the air, sturdy as a ladder.
FINA
And what are those words?
WALRITT
Aha! Words upon payment, Miss. Or here, for a learning mage like yourself, perhaps this will be of interest: A red birch wand.
STERLING
I’ve never heard of red birch.
FINA
(muttering)
There’s a good reason for that.
MELTYRE
What’s special about a red birch wand?
WALRITT
Ah, I see now that you are inexperienced. Red birch is a rare and mysterious wood with curious arcane properties. It comes from my homeland, the depths of the southern forest. It is quite temperamental, however.
MELTYRE
Fascinating.
STERLING
What’s this here? Curious symbol.
WALRITT
Ah, yes, a very special amulet. In all my travels, I’ve never seen its like. Guaranteed to make the wearer stronger and faster.
(lowered voice)
They say its power comes from a lapsed angel, a messenger from the gods who was led astray.
BETTY
Sounds dangerous.
WALRITT
It may be, but I know many a warrior who’s risked it, and achieved great gain.
FINA
Uh-huh.
WALRITT
So, my young friend, what do you think?
MELTYRE
Um, well…this is all garbage.
FINA
OHHHOHO, WHAT!
WALRITT
Excuse me, young man, you obviously aren’t well versed in the arcane arts.
MELTYRE
I’m well versed enough to know that you’re a scam artist.
WALRITT
I don’t have to take this sort of dressing-down from a hedge wizard.
STERLING
How dare you, sir, you—
MELTYRE
Hey—hey. Look, this is simple. It’s obvious to me that this stuff is worthless, so you might as well drop the act.
WALRITT
Obvious, is it! Are you so educated?
MELTYRE
You don’t need a magical education to see that. I bet even Sterling could tell.
WALRITT
(scornfully)
Oh, this…this paladin? This disgraced paladin?
MELTYRE
Go on, Sterling.
STERLING
What are you…ohhh. Oh, I see. Shall I try to detect magic, then?
WALRITT
Don’t you cast spells on my merchandise!
FINA
What are you gonna do if he does, exactly?
STERLING
Here we are—
(a wooshing and plink; pause)
No magic whatsoever on these objects.
FINA
(cackles)
WALRITT
That spell could have been anything!
MELTYRE
It wasn’t, though. And if a disgraced paladin and an amateur wizard can tell that you’re full of it, maybe you should take your business elsewhere.
WALRITT
The nerve!
(clanking and movement)
I’ve never been so insulted.
FINA
Oh, if you’d like more where that came from, feel free to stick around, buddy.
Footsteps behind Sterling’s line.
STERLING
Perhaps you shouldn’t be so hasty to judge by appearances.
VELUNE
Here are our drinks. What’s all…this…
Awkward pause.
MELTYRE
Uh, Friar?
WALRITT
Do…do I know you? You look somewhat familiar.
Glasses clink pointedly down onto the table.
VELUNE
I don’t believe so.
FINA
Keep loading your junk, you fraud, c’mon.
WALRITT
No, n-no, I’m certain we’ve met.
VELUNE
That doesn’t seem very likely.
BETTY
You okay, Velune?
VELUNE
I’m sorry?
MELTYRE
You look like you’ve seen a ghost.
WALRITT
Velune? Your name is Velune?
VELUNE
Yes, but I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.
WALRITT
(shaken)
No…no, no, that can’t be.
MELTYRE
What’s…what’s going on?
VELUNE
Please, I’m not who you think I am.
WALRITT
Y-y-you were—you’re dead. We killed you. We buried you.
BETTY
(furious)
What?
VELUNE
Sir, you are mistaken.
WALRITT
H-how are you here? How have you grown old? You couldn’t have escaped!
VELUNE
Sir—
WALRITT
A-a-are you a ghost?
VELUNE
(with surprising intensity)
Don’t touch me, please.
WALRITT
I-I…Velune, we were friends.
VELUNE
Do you often kill your friends?
WALRITT
We had to. You’d gone soft, Velune, we thought it was what we had to do.
VELUNE
You had to.
WALRITT
We shouldn’t’ve, though. The next week the wrath of the gods came down on us, and we…
(trails off)
VELUNE
You seem to be all right.
WALRITT
I escaped, sure, but barely. The whole cult was…slaughtered.
Long and awkward pause.
WALRITT
(pleading)
Tell me it’s you. Tell me you’re real.
VELUNE
I’m sorry, sir. You’ve got the wrong person.
A heavy pause.
WALRITT
(amongst clinking)
Sorry to waste your time.
Footsteps walking away.
VELUNE
(lightly)
Hm! Very curious. Trying to sell us something, was he?
MELTYRE
Velune, are you okay?
VELUNE
Why wouldn’t I be?
FINA
You did know that guy, didn’t you?
VELUNE
I don’t see that it matters.
FINA
Are you kidding me?
STERLING
Was he or was he not one of the people who attempted to bury you alive?
VELUNE
(softly, stiffly)
And what if he was?
MELTYRE
Then we want to know if you’re okay!
VELUNE
I assure you, I am fine.
BETTY
Don’t lie.
Silence.
VELUNE
(sighs) I forgot, it’s impossible to get anything past you, Betty.
MELTYRE
Then you’re not okay.
VELUNE
I admit to being a bit shaken. But I’ll be better before too long.
FINA
Then he was a cultist?
VELUNE
…Yes.
FINA
A cultist who almost succeeded in killing you.
VELUNE
I’d rather not talk about this.
STERLING
Why?
VELUNE
I’m sorry?
STERLING
Why would you rather not talk about it?
VELUNE
Why would I rather not talk about the most traumatic part of my life?
STERLING
It was so long ago.
VELUNE
Oh! So time heals all wounds, is that it?
STERLING
Doesn’t it?
VELUNE
(annoyed)
Not in my experience. And I have a lot of experience.
BETTY
Especially if you ignore it.
VELUNE
I beg your pardon?
BETTY
Can’t heal something by hiding it. It just festers.
VELUNE
(huffs; firmly)
I think I know what’s best for my own mind.
BETTY
Then why have you been weird ever since we brought Fina back?
VELUNE
I have not been “weird.”
FINA
You do kinda change the subject whenever I crack a joke about dying.
VELUNE
And why not? Why should I want to think about you dying?
FINA
Well I’m not dead now. And it’s because of you, Velune. I’m grateful.
VELUNE
I assure you, it was nothing.
FINA
Uhh, it was super not nothing. I was dead.
VELUNE
(forcefully)
Stop it.
FINA
That is what I’m talking about.
BETTY
Leave them alone. They don’t want to talk about it, we won’t talk about it.
FINA
Ugh. Fine.
Awkward pause.
MELTYRE
Do you think that Walritt guy would sell me that red birch wand?
FINA
You mean, that normal stick that was dyed red very poorly?
MELTYRE
Yeah.
STERLING
I did say it has no magical properties whatsoever.
MELTYRE
No I know. But I could probably attune it anyway.
STERLING
Why would you want to?
MELTYRE
It looked really cool.
FINA
(laughs)
Nah, we probably burned that bridge when you utterly destroyed him. Amazing work, by the way.
MELTYRE
Thanks.
STERLING
Why did you have me cast the spell?
MELTYRE
He’d already judged us, you know? I thought it’d sting more coming from someone who might not be able to do any magic than someone who knew a little.
STERLING
I suppose I understand that.
MELTYRE
And I…kind of wanted to see if you’d know what to do.
STERLING
It was a test, then?
MELTYRE
Yeah, sorry, maybe I should’ve—
STERLING
(emphatically)
Did I pass?
MELTYRE
(amused)
W—yeah, I g-I guess. Sure, flying colors.
STERLING
(pleased with himself)
Good.
FINA
Getting good at this magic stuff, pretty boy.
STERLING
You know, it’s curious, but it’s not like training with a sword. I don’t feel as though I’m getting stronger.
MELTYRE
Really?
STERLING
In a way, since my ability to do magic was tied with honesty, you remember, it’s almost as if I must be more vulnerable, weaker, in order to properly channel it.
MELTYRE
(thoughtfully)
Interesting. It doesn’t work like that for me.
FINA
Yeah, me either.
VELUNE
I know what you mean.
STERLING
Do you?
VELUNE
Humility is required when the source of your magic is outside yourself.
STERLING
Not exactly my strong suit, I admit.
FINA
Ha, the fact that you can even admit it, it means you’ve come a long way, Paladon’t.
STERLING
(chuckling; pleased)
W-Ah, thank you.
FINA
Meltyre, I’m going to tell this story forever. I can’t believe he thought he could pull one over on you.
VELUNE
Walritt was always a little quick to judge.
A brief awkward silence.
STERLING
Were you close?
VELUNE
He was…the first friend I made among the necromancers.
FINA
Is it…weird to think about being friends with those guys?
VELUNE
It’s unconscionable. There is nothing about that time in my life worthy of redemption.
FINA
(joking)
I can think of one thing.
Brief pause.
FINA
(losing the joke)
Velune? Friar? You’re glad I’m not dead, right?
VELUNE
(fragile)
Yes. Of course.
FINA
…Buuuuut?
VELUNE
(painfully, slowly)
I have…spent my entire life trying to atone for what I did. And what I didn’t do, as well. That I didn’t stop them. I’ve tried so hard not to think about it anymore—for many years, I succeeded.
FINA
Oh. And then here comes me.
VELUNE
(teeth gritted)
Yes.
(pause; shakily)
I don’t regret bringing you back, Fina. But I can’t help but wonder if it was…right.
MELTYRE
Of course it was right. You saved her life.
STERLING
No, now I see. You’re wondering how anything good can come of this terrible thing.
VELUNE
The worst thing I’ve ever done.
FINA
Yeah, but it turned into the best thing you’ve ever done, i.e. saving my life.
VELUNE
Oh! shall I pick and choose, then, when this evil magic is good? On my terms, based on my judgement, which has historically been flawed and shortsighted? Shall I wield the terrible things I know for my own benefit, forgetting how I learned them?
FINA
Uh, yeah? That sounds pretty good to me?
VELUNE
And at what cost to my soul, Fina, my peace of mind?
(pause; sighs)
I’m…sorry to lay these troubles on you, my friends. They’re not really questions that anyone can answer.
STERLING
Well it’s not as though you can answer your questions by avoiding them.
VELUNE
Beg your pardon?
BETTY
Leave them be.
FINA
No wait, hang on. What do you mean, Paladon’t?
STERLING
Well…they seem to be avoiding the topic altogether. You can’t solve a problem unless you think about the problem. That’s only practical.
FINA
That is surprisingly insightful, there, Sterling.
VELUNE
And how do you propose I go about analyzing the blackest mark on my record?
STERLING
I wouldn’t presume to propose anything, but I do think you must do it. It’s shaped you, after all, hasn’t it?
VELUNE
I should say so.
STERLING
I think…I think I know better than any of us that…ignoring a part of who you are does you more ill than good.
VELUNE
But Sterling, my secret isn’t affecting my relationship with my god.
STERLING
No, but it is affecting your relationship with Fina.
FINA
(softly)
Oh….
VELUNE
Is that true, Fina?
FINA
Uh, yeah.
VELUNE
Are you saying that because you mean it, or for the sake of the drama?
FINA
Why-why can’t it be both?
BETTY
C’mon.
FINA
All right, fine. Yeah, it doesn’t make me feel great that you kinda regret saving my life.
VELUNE
It’s the magic I regret, not—
FINA
Velune, I am inextricably tied to the magic in this scenario.
VELUNE
No, no, if I can separate the issue of necromancy from the issue of your life—
FINA
I’m telling you, you can’t. They’re the same issue.
VELUNE
But—but if they’re the same, how can I help but condemn myself for bringing you back, Fina? This is the same magic that I was so obsessed with that I justified letting innocent people die. I did that, don’t you see? I could have saved them and stopped the cult, but I wrote off their deaths as necessary evil because I was too convinced of the importance of my research—you see that, don’t you?
FINA
No, c’mon, this situation is different.
VELUNE
(genuinely pleading)
How, Fina? Tell me how, please, because it all looks like it’s me deciding to subvert nature again, because of something I selfishly wanted!
FINA
(stunned)
Holy hydra.
Pause.
BETTY
It wasn’t selfish.
VELUNE
No? Just because I wanted Fina back?
STERLING
Wanting to save people’s lives is not selfish. It’s admirable.
VELUNE
I had thought studying necromancy without interference would eventually save lives too.
MELTYRE
But that was just how you justified it, right? That wasn’t really your motivation.
VELUNE
That’s true, but the only purpose that fact serves is to have me mistrust my motivations now. Do you see why I don’t want to think about it?
FINA
Yeah. Jeez, Friar. What a convoluted web you have woven.
VELUNE
(miserable)
I know.
Brief silence.
VELUNE
Do you know the worst part?
STERLING
I can’t imagine.
VELUNE
Even with all this…doubt and regret, knowing that I cannot contemplate what I’ve done without overwhelming shame…if one of you were to die, I would do it again in a second. For all my waxing eloquent I really am that simple.
Pause.
MELTYRE
If…maybe you’re simple, if wanting to help your friends no matter what is simple. But I think that’s hard. And it’s complicated.
(pause)
It’s a lot easier to run.
FINA
At least your priorities are right on a gut level, you know? Helping people?
VELUNE
(sighs)
I suppose.
STERLING
I imagine this is difficult for you to believe, what with your head being where it’s at, but the fact that you’re so careful with ethics speaks volumes. You are not the person you were when you joined that cult.
VELUNE
By Pelor, I certainly hope not.
BETTY
Your god still approves.
FINA
Yeah, that’s true! Right?
VELUNE
Oh, probably.
(humorless chuckle)
What have I done to deserve such friends?
FINA
I think it’s a good thing for all of us that this isn’t about what we deserve.
STERLING
We are here if you wish to talk more about this.
MELTYRE
And we’re here if you don’t too.
STERLING
Yes, quite.
VELUNE
I…may yet take you up on that. But not today. (pause) Today I would prefer to be grateful that my friends are alive, and that they care for an old person with all their baggage and history like me.
FINA
I’ll drink to that.
VELUNE
And that they are clever enough to see through some rather convincing farcical magic objects.
STERLING
The amulet was rather good, wasn’t it?
MELTYRE
I still kind of want the wand.
Dialogue begins to fade out.
FINA
What if I threw one of my turpentine balloons at ol’ Walritt and you ran in and stole it while he was distracted?
VELUNE
Oh, is that what that smell is?
FINA
It’s handy!
Theme song.
TESSA
Next time, on Inn Between…
VELUNE
We’re headed into the Grove of Babel.
FINA
Babel means confusion. We should be careful of confounding spells and stuff.
RIDDLE GOBLIN
(a strange nasally voice)
This party’s quest will go awry,
Your simple despels will not fly!
Credits:
Episode 2.10, “The Salesman,” was written and directed by Hannah Wright, with assistant director William Wright. The show is produced and edited by Katherine Ayers.
The voice of Sterling is Marquis Dijon Archuleta; the voice of Betty is Kaleigh Christopher; the voice of Fina is Riley Jones; the voice of Velune is Kira Mills; and the voice of Meltyre is Austin Mowat.
This episode featured the voice of special guest Matt Eakins as Walritt the Salesman. Check out his work at MattJamesVO.com.
Fina’s guitar is played by Eli Isbell, and our theme song is by Eli McIlveen.
Transcripts for this and every episode can be found on our website, thegoblinshead.com. Find and follow us on twitter or support us on patreon, at patreon.com/thegoblinshead.
If you like our show, commit your life to a complex fantasy-adventure heist, or leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. Thanks for listening!
Theme song ends. Tavern sounds.
TESSA
So you’re telling me that this cooper’s hammer will keep my ales fresh for twice as long?
WALRITT
Indeed, its magic never fails.
TESSA
Then I have to build the barrels myself?
WALRITT
I—er…
TESSA
Get out of my inn.
End.