Our heroes are finished.
Transcript is below the cut!
HANNAH
Hi everyone, Hannah here, with a brief note before this, our season finale. First of all, we are in fact planning on a season three, so do not be alarmed by the name of this episode; we’ll be releasing a news update with more info soon.
Secondly, thank you! Thank you for listening and recommending us, for your kind words and support, for your fan art and fic—the fact that you all love this thing we made means the absolute world to me. This has been an amazing season, and I can’t wait to show you what’s next.
Let’s go to the Inn.
Pause.
TESSA
Previously, on Inn Between…
Theme song.
MARIE
Lord Denetrah is ruining my kingdom. I need my aunt. I need Dame Avaline.
STERLING
Lord Charles Denetrah, you will pay for your evil deeds!
DENETRAH
(very deep, smooth, derisive voice)
Will I? And who are you, a wandering band of thugs?
FINA
We’re the jokers who are about to kick you off the throne, you putrid waste of space.
DENETRAH
By whose authority?
AVALINE
By mine.
MARIE
Avaline!
Theme song ends. Tavern sounds, and then the clink of glasses set down on the table, with a chair scoot.
STERLING
Right then, here you are, everyone.
VELUNE
Thank you, Sterling.
MELTYRE
(absentminded)
Thanks.
Long pause.
FINA
We are being very quiet for people who just won a decisive victory over an evil usurper, and returned Dame Avaline and Princess Marie to their rightful places on and around the throne.
STERLING
I suppose so.
Pause again, shorter this time.
FINA
What is going on here?
BETTY
They all got something on their minds.
FINA
Like what?
BETTY
(makes “I don’t know” noise)
FINA
No help at all.
MELTYRE
She is right, though.
FINA
Okay?
Pause.
FINA
Are we gonna talk about it, or…
VELUNE
Why Fina, are you instigating an open and honest conversation?
FINA
Ugh, I am. Who am I?
BETTY
(laughs)
FINA
I’ll start, if you all insist on being reticent.
STERLING
What are we talking about?
FINA
We’re talking about this.
(uncharacteristically serious)
The princess offered me a job.
MELTYRE
(perks up)
She did?
FINA
Yeah. Court jester.
BETTY
Bard Laureate.
FINA
Basically the same thing.
VELUNE
Well that’s wonderful!
FINA
Yeah! Yeah, it’s…it’s good, I guess. But I’m…not gonna take it.
MELTYRE
(disappointed)
Oh.
STERLING
You’re not?
FINA
No. I uh…I did some soul-searching and whatever. Talked through it with Betty. I’m not really ready to settle.
STERLING
Settle?
FINA
Stay in one place, quit the adventuring game? There are way too many stories out there to find. Maybe when I’m like, Velune’s age.
VELUNE
(teasing)
If you make it that long.
FINA
Oo, ominous! I love it.
VELUNE
(chuckles)
MELTYRE
(sighs)
That sucks.
STERLING
What?
FINA
What’s up, kid?
MELTYRE
Uh…sorry, your thing doesn’t suck, that’s good. I guess. That you know what you want. Um. (pause) It’s just that the princess offered me a job too, and I…I decided to take it.
FINA
Oh! Oh.
MELTYRE
Yeah…I didn’t know how to tell you guys, but I’m…staying here. I’m quitting adventuring.
FINA
Oof. This does, in fact, suck.
VELUNE
What job were you offered?
MELTYRE
Court wizard.
STERLING
Sorry, court wizard to the throne?
MELTYRE
Yep.
STERLING
A very prestigious title! You’re right to take it.
MELTYRE
I mean, I’m terrified. But it means my sisters will be safe, and taken care of, and educated. And they’ll be close to Princess Marie, which will be good for all of them, I-I think. And..I won’t have to go adventuring anymore. It’s not like I ever wanted to in the first place, you know? And have you seen the royal library? I could learn so much more…
(pause)
It just sucks because it means leaving you guys.
FINA
Yikes. Open and honest conversation is not fun, Velune.
VELUNE
That is a risk, I’m afraid.
MELTYRE
I’m really sorry.
FINA
You don’t have to apologize for taking what sounds like an opportunity custom-made for you, Meltyre.
MELTYRE
Thanks for that, I guess. I-I just…don’t want to be the reason we split up, you know? And I don’t want to be alone again.
FINA
Yeah.
STERLING
Well, perhaps…perhaps you wouldn’t have to be alone. I was offered a position as well.
MELTYRE
Really?
STERLING
Yes. Captain of the guard. I’ve been unsure whether to accept it.
VELUNE
Why’s that?
STERLING
My mother will be livid, for one thing. It isn’t exactly an appropriate career for someone of my standing, or whatever nonsense.
FINA
Taking a leisurely slide down the social ladder?
STERLING
Exactly. And…accepting this position would mean accepting that my order will never reverse my disgrace.
FINA
Ouch.
STERLING
Indeed. I would stop being a paladin, in everyone’s eyes except my god’s. And I suppose that’s what matters, but even so, it’s…hard to let that go.
MELTYRE
(softly, disappointed)
Oh.
STERLING
But…I can think of no higher calling than to protect the princess in this time of instability. And Dame Avaline—although she is of course a noble and honorable person—seems a bit lost. She may need help rejoining court society from someone who understands what’s happened to her.
VELUNE
A high calling indeed.
STERLING
And you’ll be there, Meltyre! It won’t be just me, and that thought gives me courage.
MELTYRE
I-I…I give you courage?
STERLING
You certainly do.
MELTYRE
Oh.
STERLING
Fina, perhaps you ought to reconsider.
FINA
What?
STERLING
Stay with us!
FINA
(scoffs)
I can’t, Sterling. Like, all my love for you two will not stop me from falling over dead from boredom.
STERLING
But perhaps—
FINA
This isn’t a fair thing to ask me, Paladon’t. You know that, right?
STERLING
…I suppose not.
FINA
Anyway, I can’t stay if Betty’s not gonna.
VELUNE
Were you not offered a job, Betty?
BETTY
I was. I said no.
STERLING
What job?
BETTY
Captain of the guard.
STERLING
I beg your pardon?
BETTY
The princess was being polite. I can’t swear to human royalty. I’m a chief.
STERLING
Oh. Right.
BETTY
Wouldn’t want to, though.
VELUNE
Why not?
BETTY
It’s not really where I belong.
FINA
You belong with me.
BETTY
(fondly)
Always.
STERLING
Why can’t you two belong here?
BETTY
Why can’t you come with us?
STERLING
We’d like to stop being adventurers.
BETTY
We wouldn’t.
VELUNE
Well, when you put it like that, it seems simple.
BETTY
It is simple. It’s just not easy.
STERLING
(annoyed)
It certainly isn’t easy. Are we just expected to say goodbye? After all this?
Awkward pause.
STERLING
Velune! Surely you’d like to stay.
MELTYRE
Did you get a job offer?
VELUNE
I did. Princess Marie asked me if I’d like to be her advisor in religious matters.
STERLING
Did you say yes or no?
VELUNE
Well I haven’t decided yet.
STERLING
Then allow me to convince you—
VELUNE
I would rather you didn’t.
STERLING
You’re more than qualified. Who knows more about the nature of the gods than you?
VELUNE
I’m not certain about that.
STERLING
All the better! Nothing with the gods is really certain, after all.
VELUNE
Please, Sterling, I can make up my own mind.
STERLING
Then you ought to make up your mind to stay!
MELTYRE
Sterling, stop.
STERLING
Stop what? I’m merely suggesting—
VELUNE
Suggesting is not what you’re doing.
STERLING
Well, fine. Friar, what’s made you hesitant?
VELUNE
That’s a bit of a difficult question. (pause) I feel as though…I’m coming to terms with what I did as a part of the cult, and…I never thought I’d do that. Particularly not at this stage of my life.
FINA
Yeah, how long has it been?
VELUNE
(laughs)
Oh, more years than I care to count. It goes to show, really, you’re never too old for personal growth.
STERLING
Is it the necromancy that’s keeping you from saying yes, then?
VELUNE
Not so much the necromancy as…as calling myself a necromancer. I’m not sure what it means, really, and I’m not sure I ought to be advising anyone on matters of the gods until I find out.
(pause)
I want…time, I think. Time to explore. Time I won’t have if I stay.
STERLING
(slowly)
Do you mean to say—
VELUNE
I don’t think I should take the job, no.
STERLING
(angry)
I see.
VELUNE
The question is what I should do next. I suppose I could report back to my Abbey, tell the abbess what I’ve learned.
FINA
Betty, sweetheart, are you thinking what I’m thinking?
BETTY
Probably not.
FINA
Well in this case I think you are.
BETTY
Mm…Velune should come with us?
FINA
That was precisely what I was thinking.
VELUNE
What, really?
FINA
Yeah, I don’t see why not.
BETTY
Glory awaits!
FINA
And it’d be nice to have a healer around.
BETTY
And a friend.
FINA
And a friend!
VELUNE
(slowly)
I rather like the idea of that. Are you sure I wouldn’t slow you down?
FINA
I have a feeling we need that, sometimes.
VELUNE
Then, yes! Yes, I gratefully accept.
STERLING
(bitterly)
Seems we’re all settled, then.
Pause.
VELUNE
I’ve hurt your feelings.
STERLING
(they definitely have)
You’ve done nothing of the kind.
FINA
You’re seriously angry at Velune for this?
STERLING
I’m not angry! I’m—I’m—
BETTY
Afraid.
Uncomfortable pause.
MELTYRE
Really?
STERLING
No! I’m…perhaps. It’s complicated!
VELUNE
You can try to explain it to us, if you want to.
STERLING
(getting emotional)
Ah—I—who will I be, without you? All of you? Who will any of us be?
FINA
No different than you are with us, pretty boy.
STERLING
No, you don’t understand! When we first met, I was desperate, and prideful, and selfish…Why should I want to go back to being that person? How could I live with myself?
VELUNE
You’re not going to regress, Sterling, not after you’ve come so far.
STERLING
How do you know that?
MELTYRE
Why would I let that happen?
Pause.
MELTYRE
That—that sounded weird, um—
FINA
Relax, kid. He’s right though, Paladon’t. You’re not alone in this. And even if you were, you’re not going to forget everything as soon as we leave.
STERLING
How can you be so sure?
FINA
Because you’re not the same person. None of us are. Things are gonna be different.
STERLING
What if I don’t want things to be different?
VELUNE
Well…supposing you came adventuring with us instead. And suppose we…convinced Meltyre to let go of this opportunity he has and come along as well.
MELTYRE
Um—
VELUNE
Just for the sake of argument. Would you be satisfied, Sterling?
STERLING
Of course.
MELTYRE
Leaving the princess without any defense?
STERLING
Now that’s not fair.
MELTYRE
Of course it’s not fair. But that’s our life right now.
STERLING
So we are to let this end? Without so much as fighting to preserve it?
MELTYRE
Sometimes things just end! And it sucks, but it’s the way things are!
STERLING
I don’t understand why you’re fine with this!
MELTYRE
I’m not!
STERLING
Then why—
MELTYRE
Why what? Why am I not gonna put my sisters through yet another move and take them away from their friend? Why am I not gonna pass up the chance for a little security, for them and me? Why do you think?
Pause.
STERLING
I’m sorry. I understand your position. I…don’t like it, but I understand.
MELTYRE
(quietly)
Are you gonna stay too?
STERLING
…It seems to be the best decision. The most just and wise. Though…it pains me.
FINA
Yeah.
Brief pause.
FINA
Maybe we should stay.
BETTY
Seriously?
FINA
No, no, you’re right, that’s crazy talk and I would almost certainly set the palace on fire from boredom.
BETTY
Yep.
FINA
I just thought we’d be splitting up the band over something more climactic. (chuckles) Like one of us dying.
VELUNE
To be fair, we did try that already. It didn’t stick.
FINA
(snorts)
Yeah, that’s true.
(melancholy guitar)
I guess…I guess there’s no such thing as a good story with no end.
STERLING
Is this it, then? We’ll be splitting up?
Guitar stops.
FINA
It’s so unceremonious, isn’t it? I hate this.
MELTYRE
Yeah.
VELUNE
Yes.
Long pause.
BETTY
Stupid.
FINA
Who?
BETTY
You. You gonna take this?
FINA
…No. No I’m not! What am I doing?
BETTY
You’re being sad.
FINA
Well you’re about to be sad! Watch this.
(gentle, intricate guitar)
Gather ‘round, kids, let me tell you a story.
STERLING
What are you—
FINA
No interruptions!
(guitar quiets briefly)
This is the story of five people who were more mismatched than the outfit of your average jester.
(a couple of chords for each person)
They were a withered cleric with a bright demeanor and a dark secret…an insecure blowhard who hid behind layers of arrogance…a teenage disaster of anxiety and magic…a hardened barbarian whose heart was tender from loss…(chuckles a little) and an unbearably ambitious clown.
(guitar becomes steady and intense, building in brightness)
They were thrown together almost by accident, and stayed together for all the wrong reasons, but they changed, and grew, and made each other better, an education in empathy and compromise. Their heroism was unmatched—not even death could separate them. This very building recognized them, a friendship that shook even an impassive inn to its foundations. Over and over again, they saved the day, and they saved each other.
(a pause; guitar goes quiet and hopeful)
But like all stories, this one ends. Our heroes part ways, not as they were before, but as a wise and repentant necromancer; a noble, courageous paladin; the finest young wizard in the kingdom; a compassionate warrior chief; and a humble storyteller. They will never be the same, and the world is better for their love for each other. This is the end, but it isn’t goodbye.
(song ends)
You hear me? This isn’t goodbye, okay?
STERLING
(very soft)
Fina…
FINA
(voice wavering)
No, no, do-don’t get sentimental. I’m not gonna cry. Shut up.
STERLING
(almost crying himself)
That was…a very good story.
FINA
(definitely not crying, of course not)
Thanks for helping me write it.
Pause.
MELTYRE
(emotional, but joking)
Would you guys get ahold of yourselves?
Fina laughs, and then so does Sterling.
BETTY
We’ll come back.
VELUNE
We certainly will. In fact, I’d like to make that a condition of my joining you.
FINA
Oo, negotiating a contract? We’ll make a merc out of you yet.
STERLING
You’re not leaving right away, are you?
FINA
Oh, no, I personally plan to mooch off the princess’s goodwill for at least another week, if that’s good with you two.
VELUNE
I wouldn’t be opposed. Plenty of time to say goodbye properly. Get used to the idea of being apart.
MELTYRE
Simple, but not easy.
FINA
Yeah, but what fun would this be if it was easy, right?
STERLING
(chuckling)
Yes, I suppose it would be too much to ask for one thing we do to be easy.
Fina and Betty laugh. Footsteps approach.
TESSA
Would you like another round, adventurers?
VELUNE
I rather think we would.
FINA
Oh, now there’s a good question, is the inn going to stay here or come with us?
STERLING
Well, obviously the inn will follow whichever group is more heroic, so it will likely stay.
FINA
Oh, are we comparing stats here, Paladon’t?
Dialogue fading out.
STERLING
Between myself and the finest young wizard in the kingdom, I think we stack up nicely.
MELTYRE
(laughing)
Why are you dragging me into this?
Theme song.
Credits:
Episode 2.15, “The End,” was written and directed by Hannah Wright, with assistant director William Wright. The show is produced and edited by Katherine Ayers. Recording assistance by Brendon Bennet.
The voice of Sterling is Marquis Dijon Archuleta; the voice of Betty is Kaleigh Christopher; the voice of Fina is Riley Jones; the voice of Velune is Kira Mills; and the voice of Meltyre is Austin Mowat.
This episode featured the voice of Georgia Mckenzie as Dame Avaline, Sam “Raethr” Nguyen as Lord Denetrah, and Lucille Valentine as the Thief.
Fina’s guitar is played by Eli Isbell, and our theme song is by Eli McIlveen.
Transcripts for this and every episode can be found on our website, thegoblinshead.com. Find and follow us on Twitter, or support us on patreon, at patreon.com/thegoblinshead.
Our journey’s over for this season, so stay tuned to this feed for what’s coming next. We’ll see you next season. And from all of us—thank you for listening.
Tavern sounds.
THIEF
(friendly, throaty, pleasant voice)
Um, hi, I was told to come here for a job?
TESSA
We hang bounties on that wall, young lady.
THIEF
Oh, sure.
TESSA
You wouldn’t happen to be a thief, Miss, would you?
THIEF
(glib)
Wh—no, of course not. I’m um…I’m an…adventurer?
TESSA
Of course. Good luck.
THIEF
Thanks.
(giggles; under her breath)
Here we go.