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BONUS: Weird in the Woods

Velune is on the run.

Transcript is below the cut!

Downloadable PDF Transcript

 

INTRO (0:00)

HANNAH
Hello, everyone. Hannah here to introduce you to the first of our new adventurers.

This episode involves a certain friar, and takes place after their escape from a certain cult, so be advised that this episode contains panicking, running for their life and discussion of that trauma.

Please take care of yourselves.

 

Sounds of a forest: crickets, birds and rushing water in the distance.

Heavy, quick footsteps over grass. Panting and heavy breathing from Velune.

 

VELUNE
Ah!

 

They crash.

 

VELUNE
(heavy, labored breathing)
(choked sobbing)
How did it come to this? I’m sorry, my lord Pelor, I’m so, so sorry.
(gasps for breath)
You know I was doing this for you. You know I didn’t— I didn’t mean—
(Severe coughing.)
Please… You, you spoke to me before. You just spoke to me.
Tell me! Tell me what to do! Please, I don’t know what to do!
(sobs)
(Their cries fade away as Velune breathes deep.)

 

Sudden gasp. Velune scrambles backward.

 

VELUNE
Who are you?

 

TODE
(slowly)
No.

 

VELUNE
What?

 

TODE
You can’t see me.

VELUNE
(affronted)
I certainly can!

 

TODE
(quickly)
No, you can’t. I’m melded with the stone.

 

VELUNE
(edging on desperate)
Please, please just—tell me who you are, whether or not you mean me harm. I… I can’t!

 

TODE
I mean you no harm.

 

Shuffling. He lands softly in grass.

 

TODE
I am Tode, to answer your question.

 

VELUNE
That doesn’t really answer my question.

 

TODE
Yes, it does.

 

VELUNE
What? You’re just a gnome? In the woods?

 

TODE
I suppose so.

 

VELUNE
(panicked)
No! Don’t! Don’t come any closer!

 

TODE
What are you sorry for?

 

VELUNE
How did you…?
(pause, they speak with hesitation)
Something terrible… Something unspeakable.

 

TODE
Hmm…
(pensive pause)
You don’t look well.

 

VELUNE
(hysterical laughter)
That’s very perceptive of you!

 

TODE
Come with me. You’ll be safe.

 

VELUNE
I can’t! I-I don’t know who you are.

 

TODE
I just told you. I am Tode. Come along!

 

Forest noises fade away.

 

Fire crackling.

 

TODE
Drink this! It helps!

 

VELUNE
(soft exhale)
Thank you.

 

TODE
You have experienced great and terrible danger.

 

VELUNE
(still reticent)
Yes.

 

TODE
Would your danger be a danger to me?

 

VELUNE
No. Not unless—not unless you go often into town.

 

TODE
I do not.

 

VELUNE
Then no.

 

TODE
Unless you brought the danger with you.

 

VELUNE
I…. uhm, I…

 

TODE
What are you sorry for?

 

VELUNE
I can’t. Please, I-I promise I mean you no harm, but I can’t.

 

TODE
You are afraid, but of what, I wonder?

 

VELUNE
You know, you have a lovely home.

 

TODE
(I know what you’re doing)
It is much too small for humans.

 

VELUNE
(small chuckle)
I am not a human, and yes, it is small, but very comfortable, and warm.

 

TODE
You are trying very hard to change the subject.

 

VELUNE
And I am so grateful for your hospitality…

 

TODE
Why could you see me when I was in disguise?

 

VELUNE
I don’t… know.

 

TODE
From what did you escape?

 

VELUNE
My, own… my own grave.

 

Fire fades out.

 

Fades in again.

 

TODE
Take your time.

 

VELUNE
I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.

 

TODE
A friendly ear is like an unexpected acorn in troubled times.

 

VELUNE
Like a… I’ll have to take your word for that.

 

TODE
You pleaded with them, and then you slipped and fell.

 

VELUNE
(pause)
Yes, and before long I could no longer see or…
(takes in a breath)
Or breathe.

 

TODE
They would not stop?

 

VELUNE
No! Just more and more dirt and I…
(shaky breath again)
And then I heard a voice.

 

TODE
They spoke to you.

 

VELUNE
No, it wasn’t… it was almost inside my head.

 

TODE
Your own thoughts?

 

VELUNE
I’d never heard it before. And yet— And yet I knew exactly who it was.
(pause)
The voice of my god spoke to me. He said…
(shaky, talking about this is a struggle)
He said…

 

TODE
Do you not remember?

 

VELUNE
I don’t think I’ll ever forget.
(pause, another breath)
Your conceit, your foolishness, your pride, Velune, has blinded you. Blinded you as surely as looking straight into my glory. This is not why I love you; this is not why I chose you. I expect better.

You will never be blind again.

 

TODE
(in reverent awe)
You will never be blind again.

 

Long pause.

 

TODE
(normal tone)
And then you escaped?

 

VELUNE
No, I…

 

TODE
Ah! Friendly moles!

 

VELUNE
No, no, I… I don’t know what happened. I…I woke up on top of the dirt instead of underneath it. They were all gone, and I was… I was afraid.
(defeated)
So, I ran.
And… that was when you found me.

 

TODE
Mmm.

 

VELUNE
Don’t you have anything more to say?

 

TODE
I do not find much to recommend sharing my home with someone who was more than willing to murder, up until the point the knife was in their hand. But the fact that you could not bring yourself to do it is some comfort.

 

VELUNE
Well—

 

TODE
You are not what one imagines when one imagines a necromancer, that much is certain.

 

VELUNE
Oh, gods.

 

TODE
What I am most interested in is this: what do you plan to do now?

 

VELUNE
I don’t know. I… I really don’t know.
(agitated, nearly crying again)
Why… why would he save me? Why would… You’re right, of course, you’re right, I am a necromancer and nearly a murderer. I…
(raising their voice)
I don’t deserve this!
(quietly)
What does he want me to do?

 

TODE
A puzzle for certain! But I would say that the safest answer is… live.

 

VELUNE
(Deep breath)

 

TODE
You’re welcome to find rest here for a while.

 

VELUNE
Thank you.

 

TODE
Would you like some more tea?

 

VELUNE
Yes, please.

 

Tea is poured.

 

VELUNE
What’s in this tea? It has a very curious flavor.

 

TODE
Oh, juniper, some spearmint, a… dozen or so crushed caterpillars.

 

VELUNE
(Abrupt coughing)

 

TODE
Are you alright?

 

VELUNE
(hoarse)
Oh, it’s probably just some more dirt in my throat.

 

TODE
Mmm.

 

Background sounds fade away.

Theme song starts.

 

OUTRO (7:54):

 

HANNAH
This bonus episode “Weird in the Woods” was written and directed by Hannah Wright with assistant director William Wright. The show is produced and edited by Katherine Ayers.

The voice of Velune is Kira Mills, and the voice of Tode is Anthony Ray Morales.

Our theme song is by Eli McIlveen and our artwork is by Gabrielle Buxman.

Transcripts for this and every episode can be found on our website, thegoblinshead.com.

Find and follow us on Twitter, @inn_between_. Or support us on patreon, at patreon.com/thegoblinshead.

Thank you for listening!

 

Theme song spikes then fades away.

Music ends.

Episode ends.

 

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