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4.6: The Rivals

Our heroes size up the competition.

Transcript is below the cut!

Downloadable PDF Transcript

 

Transcript provided by Ria Couoh.

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(00:00) INTRO:

(00:00) PREVIOUSLY ON…

 

TESSA
Previously on Inn Between…

 

Inn Between theme plays in the background.

 

ADVENTURER
The Gem of Fortune will be ours!

 

ADVENTURER 2
None can keep us away from this legendary prize!

 

ADVENTURER 3
(excitedly)
Our fates will never be the same!

 

ROSIE
If we’re going to get to the Gem first, we have our work cut out for us.

 

Inn Between theme fades.

 

(01:01) THE RIVALS.

 

Background sounds of a tavern.            

 

TODE
Cybilene says her friends will be meeting her any day now.

 

ROSIE
Just what we need! Another crew trying to horn in on our take.

 

KNOWLES
Do I need to remind you that this is almost the complete opposite of a take?

 

ROSIE
(defensive)
The principle is the same! Either way, it’s more competition!

 

ZARA
What is this? The sixth party?

 

CASTOR
Seventh, counting us. But we have fortune on our side.

 

ZARA
Well, we did.
(bitterly)
Until Knowles made her promise not to help!

 

KNOWLES
Do we have to go over this again?

 

CASTOR
Just because she’s not helping us doesn’t mean she’s not hurting them, right?

 

KNOWLES
(sigh)
(tiredly)
I wouldn’t put it past her.

 

ROSIE
Well, don’t act so disappointed. We need to weed some of them out.

 

ZARA
Never thought I’d see the day when you were acting so coldblooded.

 

TODE
I don’t know why you’d use the word “coldblooded” to mean cruel, I know some very kind lizards.

 

CASTOR
Wait, did you… just understand both the literal definition and the connotation of coldblooded?

 

TODE
You know, I think I did. Perhaps I’m learning Common.

 

KNOWLES
(amused)
Do you think you’re picking it up from Cybilene?

 

TODE
I don’t seem to be picking it up from you four!

 

ROSIE
She’s a bad influence. You have to put some distance between you two, Tode.

 

TODE
(firmly)
I’ll do no such thing.

 

CASTOR
That’s not a reasonable thing to ask, Rosie.

 

ROSIE
Just don’t tell her anything, okay?

 

ZARA
I see we’re in thief mode now.

 

ROSIE
Look… you four are really good at what you do, but what you do doesn’t include dungeon crawls. That’s my department! And it gets exponentially harder when that dungeon crawl is also a race!

 

ZARA
(mildly offended)
How do you know I don’t do dungeon crawls?

 

ROSIE
Well, I would if you would tell me anything!

 

ZARA
(dismissive huff)

 

ROSIE
But honestly? It’s your shoes.

 

ZARA
Wait, what?

 

ROSIE
They’re city shoes! You don’t wear shoes like that to go dungeoning!

 

ZARA
As opposed to your shoes?

 

ROSIE
Oh?
(quickly, taunting)
You mean my custom, soft leather, waterproof, stink-proof, acid-proof, sneaking shoes? Those shoes?

 

CASTOR
Wow.

 

KNOWLES
Now that’s impressive.

 

ZARA
Maybe I have other shoes for dungeoning!

 

ROSIE
Yeah?
(daring)
Where?

 

Pause.

 

CASTOR
So… why do you need to acid-proof your boots?

 

ROSIE
Oh, do not get me started on gelatinous cubes.

 

KNOWLES
(dubiously)
What? Are you kicking them?

 

Door creaks open.

 

KILLIKER
Attention! Attention! Esteemed patrons of the Goblin’s Head, I beg a moment of your time to introduce a friend of mine.

 

Background noise fades as crowd grows quiet.

 

KILLIKER
You’ve heard of their exploits in the deserts of Gaxis. You know how he fought the horrifying silver dragon of Mount Byrony in the Claggherns!
And now we… We, lucky few, have the rare honor of meeting a true hero in the flesh! May I present…
(grandly)
The one, the only…
(yelling)
Maximilian Allerus!

 

Door creaks open.

 

MAX
(confidently)
Call me Max.

 

Scattered clapping from the crowd.

 

TESSA
Do you plan on doing any more entertaining today, sir?

 

KILLIKER
Well, the night’s young.
(smoothly)
Unless you’re opposed, of course.

 

TESSA
(dully)
No, I just wanted to be able to brace myself.
Eh, can I get you two a drink?

 

MAX
Innkeep! You read my mind.

 

KILLIKER
Sounds absolutely divine.

 

KNOWLES
(unamused)
Oh, my gods.

 

CASTOR
What?

 

ROSIE
You know them?

 

KNOWLES
The human, yes. I doubt they remember me, though. Max Allerus, the Brigand?

 

ROSIE
The Brigand, hm?

 

KNOWLES
I met them when we got called to this tavern brawl. It was mostly soldiers and guards… The Whetstone was one of those places we frequented, you know?
(small pause)
But… there he was. In the middle of things, grinning like a cat.

 

ZARA
What? Like he started it?

 

KNOWLES
We couldn’t prove anything.
(increasingly frustrated)
Not enough evidence one way or the other. He was just so smug! I mean, what kind of person calls themself The Brigand?

 

CASTOR
(snorts)
Someone pretty cool.

 

KNOWLES
(dismayed)
Oh my gods.

 

ZARA
(mockingly)
“But crime isn’t cool, Castor!”

 

ROSIE
(laughs under her breath)

 

CYBILENE
(from a distance)
Max! Killiker! You made it!

 

TODE
Cybilene?

 

ROSIE
Those are Cybilene’s friends?

 

KNOWLES
(annoyed groan)
Of course they are.

 

CASTOR
Well… The elf seems harmless enough.

 

ZARA
Oh no, he’s a bard. He walked in here casting.

 

CASTOR
(baffled)
Uh— seriously?

 

TODE
(considering)
Then they’re our competition.

 

A pause.

 

ROSIE
Tode!
(with a fake casual tone)
Don’t you want to go get to know Cybilene’s friends?

 

TODE
(slowly)
Yes…
(normal speed, matching Rosie)
Yes, I do want to do that! Cybilene!

 

CYBILENE
(from a distance)
Oh! Tode!

 

Several sets of footsteps approaching.

 

ROSIE
(urgent whisper)
Size them up! Don’t reveal anything!

 

Footsteps stop.

 

CYBILENE
(happily)
Tode, meet my friends. This is Killiker the Fantastic!

 

KILLIKER
(charmingly)
At your service.

 

CYBILENE
And I’m sure they did one of their little entrances coming in, so you already know that this is Max.

 

MAX
Oh, Cyb! I’m offended!
(jocose)
There’s nothing little about my entrances.

 

CYBILENE
(laughs)
(warmly)
You insufferable peacock.

 

TODE
Very pleased to meet you both.

 

MAX
Feeling’s mutual, I’m sure. How do you know our Cyb?

 

CYBILENE
Oh, do you remember when I told you about the long-lost brother?

 

KILLIKER
(delighted)
This isn’t him!

 

TODE
It seems so!

 

MAX
I got the impression you were dead.

 

TODE
Very near to it, were it not for the intervention of some friendly wolves.

 

KILLIKER
(chuckles)
What a story this must be!

 

TODE
Please, allow me to introduce my friends: Rosie, Knowles, Castor, and Zara.

 

ROSIE
Charmed!

 

MAX
(uncertain)
Castor, is it? Why do you have a horseshoe on your head?

 

CASTOR
Uh…
(sigh)
Long story.

 

CYBILENE
We’ve all been traveling the same direction for some time now!

 

MAX
Any friend of Cyb’s is a friend of mine. If you all ever need the services of a brigand, just say the word.

 

KNOWLES
(unimpressed)
You get away with that often? Calling yourself a brigand?

 

MAX
No law-keeper has caught me yet!

 

KNOWLES
(strained laughter)
Really!

 

KILLIKER
(grandiose)
No walls can hold the three of us!

 

CYBILENE
No challenge too great!

 

MAX
No prize too elusive.

 

ALL THREE
No troubles, no fear!

 

ZARA
(pained)
Oh, that’s cute! You’ve got a little… chant… thing.

 

CASTOR
Why don’t we have one of those?

 

ROSIE
Listen, we won’t keep you. I know you probably have some catching up to do.

 

CYBILENE
We do, but… Oh!
Why don’t we all have breakfast together? Get to know each other a little?

 

ROSIE
(exaggerated cheer)
Oh, that sounds so nice.

 

MAX
Until then, friends of Cyb.
Shall we?

 

Footsteps walking away.

 

KILLIKER
Something in that kitchen smells incredible.

 

MAX
What’s good here, Cyb?

 

CYBILENE
Oh, everything!

 

KILLIKER
(fading out)
You know… I could swear I’ve been here before…

 

ROSIE
Alright, what do we got?

 

KNOWLES
They have been working together for a long time.

 

ZARA
I don’t know if it was just because we were new and he was trying to make an impression, but… I don’t think Killiker stopped casting the whole time we were talking.
His voice oozes magic.

 

CASTOR
And they’re friends! Actual friends! Like… teasing and nicknames… All that stuff!

 

ROSIE
How does Max strike you? One of you… fighty types?

 

KNOWLES
Maybe…
(considering)
But you don’t carry around a longbow like that unless you know how to use it. Those things are tough to draw…

 

CASTOR
Longbows have a lot of range, right?

 

KNOWLES
Yes, that’s right.

 

ROSIE
So… What do we got? A… a wizard, a bard, and…?

 

KNOWLES
(dawning realization)
A ranger! I’d make that bet.

 

TODE
(seriously)
I do not like that Max fellow.

 

CASTOR
(surprised)
Tode, are you… Are you… jealous?

 

TODE
Jealous?
(beat)
Is that what this is?

 

ROSIE
Jealous? Why?

 

ZARA
She’s your sister, but Max has a head start.

 

TODE
That… is exactly it.
(sigh)
I wish I had a nickname for my sister.
(beat)
(reasonably)
But I can hardly fault Max for that, so there’s no sense in being upset about it.

 

KNOWLES
So, you’re… not upset.

 

TODE
You know, it’s funny… But saying that doesn’t seem to have helped.

 

ZARA
(lightly)
It never does.

 

ROSIE
They seem like they’ll be more of a problem than the other crews.

 

KNOWLES
Experience, teamwork…

 

CASTOR
(emphatically)
Real friendship.

 

ZARA
Why do you keep bringing that up?

 

CASTOR
It matters, doesn’t it?

 

KNOWLES
He’s right. It makes a difference.

 

ROSIE
(defensive)
We have that!

 

ZARA
(laughs)

 

KNOWLES
Let’s give ourselves some slack in that department, shall we? We’ve known each other for… a matter of months. Weeks, really.

 

ROSIE
But we are friends, right?
(beat)
(insistent)
Right?

 

TODE
(honestly)
We’re friends.

 

KNOWLES
We are friends, yes.

 

CASTOR
Just not… close friends.
Uh— Yet.

 

ROSIE
Yet!

 

KNOWLES
Yeah.

 

A pause.

 

ZARA
(annoyed)
What?

 

ROSIE
How long are you going to pretend that you don’t like us?

 

ZARA
(darkly)
I don’t like you.

 

Chair drags against wooden floor.

 

ZARA
Are we going to eat or what?

 

ROSIE
I am hungry!

 

CASTOR
(exaggerated surprise)
Whoa, are you getting us food?

 

ZARA
Shut up!

 

Footsteps fading away.

 

KNOWLES
(chuckles)

 

ROSIE
(chuckles)
She likes us.

 

Background sounds of tavern fade away.

 

 

(11:04) OUTRO:

(11:04) NEXT TIME ON…

Inn Between theme plays in the background.

 

TESSA
Next time, on Inn Between…

 

KNOWLES
(pleased)
Now this is goblin country.

 

ROSIE
Uh, is this one of those ambush points you told us to be looking for?

 

ZARA
Do you think your magic’s up for this, Castor?

 

CASTOR
(strained and anxious)
Oh… I guess we’ll find out…

 

 

(11:25) CREDITS:

 

HANNAH
This episode, “The Rivals”, was written and directed by Hannah Wright with assistant director William Wright. The show is produced and edited by Katherine Ayers.

The voice of Castor is Caleb Del Rio. The voice of Zara is Quin Leigh. The voice of Tode is Anthony Morales. The voice of Rosie is Lucille Valentine. The voice of Knowles is JV Hampton-VanSant. The voice of Cybilene is Kira Apple. The voice of Killiker is Sam B. Nguyen.

This episode featured the voice of special guest Malcolm Jay as Max. Catch more of Malcolm’s work on the podcast Starfall.

The voice of Tessa is Hannah Wright. The voices of the adventurers are Kris Allison, Danilo Battistini, and Sam Cavalcanti.

Our theme song is by Eli Hamada McIlveen, and our artwork is by Gabrielle Buxman. Our transcriber is Ria Couoh.

Transcripts for this and every episode can be found on our website, thegoblinshead.com.

Find and follow us on Twitter, @inn_between_. Or support us on Patreon, at patreon.com/thegoblinshead.

If you like the show, develop a fun and flirty friendly rivalry with some super cool adventurers! Or leave us a review.

Thanks for listening!

 

Music ends.

 

 

HANNAH
This story was created in the traditional territory of the Arapaho, Cheyenne, and Ute peoples, and edited in the unceded territory of the Salish, Kootenai, and Kalispel peoples.

 

(12:36) POST-CREDITS:

Background sounds of tavern.

 

TESSA
You know, on the one hand, adventurers do tend to be good for business, but on the other hand…

 

Arrow hits a wooden surface, the shaft vibrates.

 

TESSA
(irritated)
On the other hand, the repair bills very nearly cancel it out!
You! You there! Does this look like an archery range? Put those away now! That is not how you play darts.

 

Background sounds of tavern fade away.

 

EPISODE ENDS.

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