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4.11: The Potion

Listen to “4.11: The Potion” on Spreaker.

Our heroes take some mind-altering pharmaceuticals.

Transcript is below the cut!

Downloadable PDF Transcript

Transcript provided by Ria Couoh.

**************

(00:00) INTRO:

 

HANNAH
Hi, everyone! Hannah here.

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And now, let’s go to the Inn!

 

(00:32): PREVIOUSLY ON…

 

TESSA
Previously on Inn Between…

 

Inn Between theme plays in the background.

 

KNOWLES
I’m pretty sure Killiker stole our map.

 

CASTOR
I can walk! It’s fine.

 

ZARA
(severe)
You’re getting worse, not better.

 

TODE
If we don’t find a way to pick up our pace, I fear we may fall behind.

 

Inn Between theme fades.

 

 

(01:35) THE POTION.

 

Background sounds of a tavern.

Several sets of footsteps approach.

 

ZARA
This is why most adventuring parties have at least one healer.

 

KNOWLES
I admit… this is an issue.

 

Chair scoots, a little clumsily.

 

CASTOR
Thanks, Knowles.

 

KNOWLES
No problem.

 

CASTOR
(sigh)
Seeing as we started as an investigative crew, needing a healer wasn’t really a huge priority.

 

ROSIE
Would you say it’s a priority now?

 

CASTOR
Oh, well, sure. Now.

 

TODE
(regretfully)
I wish I could do more. The berries really are only a stopgap.

 

ROSIE
We could… We could ask…?

 

Footsteps approach quickly.

 

KNOWLES
No.

 

SADIYAH
Ask me what?

 

CASTOR
(yelps)
Uh— How do you know what…?

 

SADIYAH
(flatly)
Goddess.
You do know I can’t heal anything directly, right? Especially not after the damage has been done.

 

KNOWLES
We didn’t ask!

 

SADIYAH
(dripping with sarcasm)
Sure, you didn’t.
And you didn’t want me to take even one single action to make sure you make it to the Glacial Caverns, right?

 

TODE
Knowles, I believe she’s pointing out the fact that this is no time to be stubborn?

 

KNOWLES
Thanks, Tode.

 

SADIYAH
Your friend is very wise, you know.

 

ROSIE
(pleading)
Come on, Knowles!

 

KNOWLES
Castor, what do you want to do?

 

CASTOR
Oh… Uhm… Gods! I—I’m just ready for my ankle to quit hurting.

 

A pause.

 

KNOWLES
(long-suffering sigh)
What do you have in mind?

 

SADIYAH
Wouldn’t you know it! An old friend of Tessa’s will be coming by for a visit!

 

KNOWLES
And… what’s going to go wrong?

 

SADIYAH
(mysteriously)
Nothing permanent! Have a little faith.

 

KNOWLES
Sorry, lately I’ve had a hard time trusting to luck.

 

SADIYAH
Unless a friend’s in trouble, apparently.

 

TESSA
(from a distance)
Sadiyah, would you come bring this order out?

 

SADIYAH
Duty calls, dears. So long!

 

Footsteps fading away.

 

CASTOR
Thanks…?

 

KNOWLES
No, you’re right. It’s the sensible thing to do.

 

ZARA
You just don’t have to like it?

 

KNOWLES
I don’t have to like it!

 

Door creaks open.

 

GLINDIS
Hello?

 

TESSA
(delighted)
Glindis? Is that you?

 

GLINDIS
(sweetly, affable)
Tessa, darling! Oh, I thought this was the Goblin’s Head!

 

ROSIE
That’ll be Tessa’s old friend, I guess.

 

TESSA
Pardon me for not standing, dear. My leg’s troubling me.

 

GLINDIS
Oh! Then, you’ll be interested in what I’ve been brewing up!

 

TESSA
(fondly)
What is it this time, Glindis?

 

GLINDIS
I’ve been trying my hand at potion-brewing!
(eagerly)
I’d sell you a healing potion!

 

ZARA
Oh, fine…

 

TESSA
Already tried one, dear. It helped quite a bit, but I’m awfully old these days.

 

GLINDIS
Oh, you humans and your aging!

 

TESSA
You halflings and your teasing!

 

ROSIE
Uhm… Excuse me? Glindis, was it?

 

TESSA
Oh, hello adventurers.
Yes, this is Glindis. They’re a dear friend of mine. She’s always got something new up her sleeve.

 

GLINDIS
I just like to try new things!

 

TESSA
How many new things have you tried this week?

 

GLINDIS
Ah, a scant half-dozen!

 

ROSIE
I don’t suppose you’d sell us a healing potion or two?

 

GLINDIS
I certainly would! What seems to be the issue?

 

CASTOR
(dejected)
I twisted my ankle.

 

TODE
It’s not broken, but he’s having trouble walking on it.

 

GLINDIS
You are in luck, young dwarf! I have one last standard potion. Should fix you up nicely!

 

Glass clinks.

 

CASTOR
(relieved)
Oh, thank you so much!

 

KNOWLES
How much?

 

GLINDIS
Well… Let’s see if it works first, hm? This batch can be a little… spotty.

 

Cork is removed from the glass bottle.

 

CASTOR
The whole thing?

 

GLINDIS
For best results, yes. It shouldn’t take more than a few seconds to work.

 

CASTOR
Okay…
(swallows)

 

ZARA
How do you make a healing potion?

 

GLINDIS
Oh, it’s not hard, if you know the spell. That’s proprietary, of course… but the base is relatively uncomplicated. It does take a few specialized ingredients…
(sheepish)
Which I was hoping you might have lying around, Tessa.

 

TESSA
What sort of ingredients?

 

GLINDIS
Any silverleaf ferns? Or maybe… book leaf ferns. That’d be a fine substitute.

 

TESSA
I… think I do…

 

CASTOR
(alarmed)
Uhm!

 

KNOWLES
What’s wrong?

 

GLINDIS
Are you alright?

 

CASTOR
Are you… sure this is a healing potion?

 

GLINDIS
Well, I can’t think what else it…
(dawning horror)
Would…
(trails off)

 

ROSIE
What’s wrong? Is it not working?

 

CASTOR
It’s not working at all! And, uh, uhm… I feel…?

 

GLINDIS
(apprehensive)
What color was the top of that cork?

 

CASTOR
(equally dreadful)
Uh… red?

 

GLINDIS
Oh dear…

 

TESSA
Glindis! What did you give him?

 

GLINDIS
I’m afraid that was a love potion…

 

CASTOR
(resigned, tired, shaky)
Huh… yup… that makes sense…

 

TESSA
Dear, you know that’s not ethical.

 

GLINDIS
It was just an experiment! I—It’s not full strength, young sir! Don’t worry.

 

CASTOR
(panicked yell)
What does that mean?

 

GLINDIS
It should wear off within the hour! And you still have control of all your faculties, isn’t that nice?

 

ROSIE
So, you don’t actually have any healing potions? And you made Castor a guinea pig?

 

GLINDIS
Well, at this point a healing potion seems like nothing so much as a fair trade…
Tessa, darling, why don’t you and I head to the kitchen and brew up a fresh one? I have just enough of the base left. If the recipe works, I’ll throw in a couple extra for the trouble.

 

ZARA
(icily)
That’s probably the least you could do.

 

KNOWLES
(sighs)
It’s a deal.

 

CASTOR
Thank you… or… sorry…?

 

GLINDIS
You don’t owe me either sentiment, I’m sure.
Come along, Tessa! Show me where those ferns are.

 

TESSA
Right this way.

 

Door creaks open and shuts close.

 

TODE
How are you doing, Castor?

 

CASTOR
(dryly)
I would prefer not to answer that question.

 

ZARA
(sympathetic)
Love potions are no joke. Even diluted ones.

 

KNOWLES
Mm… We’ve already fought a demon…
(considering)
Would it be so hard to fight a goddess?

 

CASTOR
(sigh)
Look, this is the price I have to pay to catch up with Max and his crew. I’ll just…
(through gritted teeth)
(continued)
tough it out for an hour.
Glindis said it wasn’t permanent.

 

ROSIE
Seriously, though, are you okay?

 

CASTOR
I cannot fully express how uncomfortable I am.

 

A small pause.

 

ZARA
So, who are you in love with?

 

ROSIE
(disbelieving)
Zara!

 

ZARA
Love potions are directed! They kick in for the first person you see.

 

TODE
Who did you see first?

 

CASTOR
(with fake cheer)
I am not answering that question!

 

ZARA
Did anyone else see?

 

KNOWLES
Okay, normally? I would be all for this ridiculousness…
(seriously)
But we’re making Castor uncomfortable.

 

ROSIE
More uncomfortable.

 

CASTOR
Yes! Thank you! More uncomfortable.

 

TODE
You are much more uncomfortable than I would expect.

 

CASTOR
Why would I enjoy having my emotions played with against my will? I’ve had more than enough of that in my life already.

 

ROSIE
So… it’s not like a bad crush?

 

CASTOR
Well… Well, that’s a different question.

 

KNOWLES
How so?

 

CASTOR
It is like a crush. It’s exactly like a crush.

 

KNOWLES
But…?

 

CASTOR
(awkward)
I… haven’t had one in a while, I guess. I… forgot.

 

ROSIE
Oh… And when a crush is bad?
(exaggerated whisper)
It’s really bad.
(sympathetic)
I’m sorry.

 

CASTOR
(curtly)
Yeah. Certainly not ideal.

 

KNOWLES
Can we do anything to help?

 

CASTOR
(pained grumble)
(strained)
I… don’t think I want to answer that question either.

 

KNOWLES
Well, hopefully Glindis is right, and it’ll all be over soon.

 

ROSIE
You didn’t drink the whole thing?

 

CASTOR
Oh… no. It tastes awful, so I… stopped for a second to see if it was working!

 

TODE
What does it taste like?

 

CASTOR
Uhm…
(smacks his lips)
Have you ever tasted pollen? Like… from a flower? To see why bees like it so much?

 

KNOWLES
Ew.

 

TODE
(agreeably)
Pollen is a complex flavor palette, it’s true. Nectar tastes… a little more familiar to us bipeds.

 

Bottle is uncorked.

 

ROSIE
(swallows)

 

CASTOR
Rosie!

 

KNOWLES
What are you doing?

 

ROSIE
(smacks her lips)
(flatly)
Ew.
(curiously)
Oh!
(appalled)
(gasp)
Oh no.

 

ZARA
Okay, what was the point of that?

 

ROSIE
I just thought that Castor might not want to be alone and—
(dismayed)
Oh no…

 

CASTOR
(concerned, angrily)
Why would I wish that? I wouldn’t wish this on anyone!

 

ROSIE
I’m… so sorry.

 

KNOWLES
Wait. Why sorry?

 

ROSIE
(shamefully)
I saw Castor first…

 

CASTOR
(high-pitched with horror)
Why would you tell me that?

 

ROSIE
Well, you deserve to know!

 

CASTOR
Why would you think this would help?

 

ROSIE
I don’t know!

 

A pause.

 

ROSIE
(flirtatious)
You know, Castor, you have like… such pretty eyes…
(dreamy sigh)

 

CASTOR
Da-da-da-ra-dah!
(sharply)
Stop! Stop that right now. This is a nightmare!

 

Another pause.

 

KNOWLES
(delighted, incredulous laughter)

 

ROSIE
This isn’t funny!

 

KNOWLES
Come on, it’s a little funny!
(snorts)

 

ZARA
Maybe we should just all be separate until the potion’s worn off.

 

TODE
Or perhaps we should do the opposite.

 

ROSIE
What do you mean…?

 

CASTOR
(betrayed)
Uh, Tode?

 

TODE
(chuckles)
Perhaps Rosie’s idea of solidarity wasn’t a bad one, but instead of empathy through common experience, we should instead remember that, despite artificial feelings, we are friends.

 

KNOWLES
Okay. What did you have in mind?

 

TODE
Let us all compliment one another.

 

ZARA
Seriously?

 

KNOWLES
You know what? I like it.

 

ZARA
Seriously?

 

KNOWLES
It will be a little awkward, which will take some of the pressure off Castor and Rosie, but it will be helpful for us as a team!
How about we just compliment the person on our left and right?

 

CASTOR
Okay, but… that means Rosie will be complimenting me, though.

 

KNOWLES
Correct, but the rule is… for those of you who are potioned, if you have to compliment the person you’re crushing on, you have to do it exactly how you would before the potion happened to you.

 

ZARA
(snappish)
So, I wouldn’t compliment anyone at all.

 

KNOWLES
You’re not the one sucking down potions!
(cheerfully)
Come on, everyone. Mandatory team-building exercise!
Rosie, you go first. Put Castor out of his misery.

 

CASTOR
(miserable grumble)

 

ROSIE
Okay. Right! Serious… Taking this… seriously.
(takes a breath)
Castor, I think the way you try to learn everything you can about one thing is amazing. I couldn’t do it. I… don’t have the focus.

 

CASTOR
Oh. Really?

 

ROSIE
Yes! You are like… so smart and talented and… when you…

 

KNOWLES
Hold up.
(amused, laughing a little)
That’s enough! You can finish this conversation in an hour.

 

ROSIE
Sorry. Uhm… Zara!

 

ZARA
(small groan)

 

ROSIE
Zara…
I think it’s great that you keep such firm boundaries, like, you don’t let anyone take advantage of you.

 

ZARA
You think that’s… good?

 

ROSIE
Yeah! If you can’t do that, then you end up either a doormat or…
(softer)
Running away from… everything.

 

ZARA
Oh.

 

CASTOR
I can go next.

 

KNOWLES
Please do!

 

CASTOR
Rosie, you… brighten up every room you walk into.

 

ROSIE
(cooing)
Aw!

 

CASTOR
Kay.
(takes a breath)
And… Knowles?

 

KNOWLES
(teasing)
Yes?

 

CASTOR
You know how you just… do things? Without having to, like, stop and think about them?

 

KNOWLES
(amused)
What kind of things?

 

CASTOR
Like, uh… when you’re fighting, or when you have to change tactics.
I—I don’t know if you know… how much of a skill it is…? To be able to trust your body and your gut like that…? Like…
(takes a breath)
It looks like impulse, but… I know it’s coming from a lot of forethought and planning.

 

KNOWLES
I’ve never really thought about it.

 

CASTOR
Yeah, that’s a gift.

 

KNOWLES
Wow. Thanks, Castor.
I’ll go next if you like.

 

TODE
Please.

 

KNOWLES
Castor, your dedication to ethics, in the face of all you’ve been through, is downright inspiring.

 

CASTOR
Ethics?

 

KNOWLES
Yeah. I know what it looks like to think through every permutation. You do that with moral dilemmas.
We should all look up to you for that.

 

CASTOR
I… I do, yeah. Thank you.

 

KNOWLES
Only truth!
And Tode, my man!
I find your infinite wisdom, especially about the things that I want no part in, extremely impressive! And very clearly not just a result of age… but of real compassion.

 

TODE
(touched)
You are exceptionally good at complimenting.

 

KNOWLES
(chuckles)
Is that my compliment?

 

TODE
No, I shall think of a better one!

 

ROSIE
You are good at this!

 

KNOWLES
Maybe we should all compliment each other more often. There’s no reason not to say what’s on our minds!

 

TODE
Ah… I know what I find most admirable about you: your integrity.
I appreciate how you not only stand by what you believe in, but always strive to meet your own standards, and… adapt if your standards are found… wanting.

 

KNOWLES
That means a lot coming from you.

 

TODE
It’s true.
And equally true is that I value your integrity, Zara.

 

ZARA
(skeptical)
What are you talking about?

 

TODE
You have a strict moral code that you stick to unfailingly. You are dependable in that way.

 

ROSIE
Moral code? Really?

 

TODE
Part and parcel is steadfast care for the innocent!

 

KNOWLES
You know what? That’s true. When we found that kid lost in the woods…?

 

ZARA
Nib.

 

CASTOR
I mean, you follow your own rules, but… they’re good rules!

 

ROSIE
Oh, she is… so uncomfortable.

 

KNOWLES
(unapologetic)
Sorry, Zara. Your turn.

 

A long pause.

 

ZARA
Rosie?

 

ROSIE
(excitedly, relishing)
Yes?

 

ZARA
Don’t make fun of me.

 

ROSIE
I would never.

 

ZARA
(slowly, awkwardly)
Hrayretilen… miransha rish… nulwishilen alsha… tholish.

 

ROSIE
(snorts)

 

ZARA
(hurt)
I told you not to make fun of me!

 

ROSIE
No, no! I—I wasn’t, I promise! I just… You’re speaking Wood Elvish, right?

 

ZARA
Yeah? I… thought it was similar enough to Drow…

 

ROSIE
It is! It’s just that… “tholish” means like… fizzy, in Drow.

 

ZARA
You know what I meant!

 

ROSIE
I knew what you meant!
(sincerely)
Thank you.

 

ZARA
Sure.

 

ROSIE
And you are my friend, and I love all my friends.

 

ZARA
(pointedly)
Anyway…
Tode?

 

TODE
If you’re not comfortable saying things out loud… Feel free to speak another language to me.

 

ZARA
Between Knowles and Rosie, that’s not going to work.

 

CASTOR
Oh, then…

 

Pause.

 

ZARA
Then, what?

 

CASTOR
Nothing, I…
(with self-deprecating, fake cheer)
(continued)
…ask you too many personal questions as it is!
(glum)
Don’t… worry about it.

 

ZARA
(resigned sigh)
Fine.
Ghanoost kesh zewick pser zri, Tode.

 

TODE
High praise indeed!

 

ROSIE
Was that Infernal?

 

KNOWLES
How did you even learn Infernal?

 

ZARA
I don’t know how I know it, I just… know it.

 

CASTOR
Wow, my pronunciation is really bad!

 

ZARA
(darkly)
You understood that?

 

CASTOR
Uh… Yes. Sorry.

 

KNOWLES
Gods forbid you be a little vulnerable!

 

ROSIE
I… think my potion is wearing off.

 

CASTOR
Lucky you.

 

ZARA
(tartly)
Was that what this whole thing was about? Being vulnerable with each other?

 

KNOWLES
I mean… Would you have done it if I had phrased it like that?

 

TODE
You are correct, though. We are all of us a bit stubborn or… very stubborn, in some cases…
But, if we are friends… we must necessarily expose weaknesses to each other.

 

ZARA
As if we haven’t done plenty of that already!

 

TODE
Unwillingly, yes. Willingly is something else altogether. That’s what real connections are made of.

 

A long pause.

 

ZARA
(groans)
Fine, Rosie. Go ahead. I know you want to.

 

ROSIE
(in a rush)
Zara said I was cool!

 

ZARA
I did not say “cool”.

 

ROSIE
You said “tholish”, which is Wood Elf for cool!

 

CASTOR
I feel like Zara is also very cool, so… that means even more coming from her.

 

ROSIE
Right?

 

ZARA
(flatly)
Is it me? Are you in love with me?

 

CASTOR
Stop asking me!

 

Door creaks open and shut.

 

GLINDIS
Alright, young dwarf! This should be a proper healing potion.

 

TESSA
And you’re sure this time?

 

GLINDIS
(exasperated)
You will note that the cork is colored green!

 

CASTOR
Thank you. Will this fix the love potion too?

 

GLINDIS
(theatrical)
Alas, much like life, the only fix for that is time.

 

CASTOR
(long-suffering)
Okay, thank you.

 

A soft pop as the cork is removed from glass bottle.

 

ROSIE
Okay, I have a question! Isn’t there a way to make love potions permanent?

 

GLINDIS
Not quite… permanent, but the way it works in your system, your own brain will perpetuate the chemical process if the potion is supplemented by a kiss.

 

ZARA
These are very unethical.

 

GLINDIS
They weren’t meant for consumption, mind.

 

KNOWLES
Is that potion working, Castor?

 

CASTOR
Uh… yeah, actually! This feels way better. Thank you so much!

 

KNOWLES
We’ll take five.

 

GLINDIS
I’ll brew up a batch! Should take me an hour or so!

 

TESSA
Would you like a hand?

 

GLINDIS
I would! If you’re not too busy.

 

TESSA
Sadiyah has it handled.
(loudly)
Sadiyah! Do you have it handled?

 

SADIYAH
(distant)
(sweetly)
Of course, Tessa.

 

Door creaks open and shut.

 

KNOWLES
Sadiyah sure does have it handled!

 

ROSIE
It’ll still be pretty early in an hour, right?

 

ZARA
You think we can make some headway catching up with Max?

 

KNOWLES
I like the sound of this! Castor?

 

CASTOR
I’m game!

 

KNOWLES
Great! We’ll set off as soon as we’ve got our potions.

A pause.

 

ZARA
(suddenly)
(quickly)
Okay, but who are you in love with?

 

CASTOR
No! Not answering!

 

ZARA
You have to make sure you don’t lengthen the effects of the potion!

 

CASTOR
(sarcastic)
Yes! Because I’m well known for going around and kissing people on the lips, indiscriminately!

 

TODE
(amused)
Now that would be a way to really bring us together as a team.

 

CASTOR
No!

 

Background sounds of tavern fade away.

 

(21:30) OUTRO:

(21:30) NEXT TIME ON…

 

Inn Between theme plays in the background.

 

TESSA
Next time, on Inn Between…

 

KNOWLES
If Killiker stole our map, then he and the others know our shortcuts.

 

ROSIE
They don’t know all of our shortcuts!

 

CASTOR
(echoing through a cavernous space)
Are you sure about this?

 

Crackling and scuttling sounds as if scratching along stone.

 

(21:52) CREDITS:

 

HANNAH
This episode, “The Potion”, was written and directed by Hannah Wright with assistant director William Wright. The show is produced and edited by Katherine Ayers.

Castor is Caleb Del Rio. Zara is Quin Leigh. Tode is Anthony Morales. Rosie is Lucille Valentine and Knowles is JV Hampton-VanSant. The voice of Tessa is Hannah Wright.

This episode featured the voice of special guest Eleanor Anwen as Glindis. You can hear more of their work on The Waystation.

Our theme song is by Eli Hamada McIlveen and our artwork is by Gabrielle Buxman. Our transcriber is Ria Couoh.

Transcripts for this and every episode can be found on our website, thegoblinshead.com.

Find and follow us on Twitter, @inn_between_. Or support us on Patreon, at patreon.com/thegoblinshead.

If you like the show, take up potion brewing and experiment on your friends! Or leave us a review.

Thanks for listening!

 

Music ends.

 

 

HANNAH
This story was created in the traditional territory of the Arapaho, Cheyenne, and Ute peoples, and edited in the unceded territory of the Salish, Kootenai, and Kalispel peoples.

 

(23:00) AD BREAK.

 

POST-CREDITS:

Background sounds of tavern.

 

GLINDIS
It’s been such fun, Tessa! Just like old times!

 

TESSA
I’m so glad you found us. What a coincidence that you were passing by!

 

GLINDIS
Well… maybe not! That barmaid of yours has an air of… fortune about her.

 

TESSA
Fortune? Really?

 

GLINDIS
Do you think she’d be interested in some investment opportunities…?

 

TESSA
(warily)
Oh, dear, no. Don’t… don’t press your luck.

 

Background sounds of tavern fade away.

 

EPISODE ENDS.

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