Check out our friends at Warlock! Transcript is below the cut!
HANNAH
Hi, everyone! Hannah here.
I’m so pleased to be bringing you an episode of a new favorite audio drama, Warlock. Tell me, would you like to listen to a show that perfectly replicates the experience of watching an anime? Boy, are you in the right place!
Warlock is the highly stylized fantasy adventure of my dreams, about Nova, the first person with a pact for magic in this world of sorcerers. It is funny, heartfelt, and genuinely made me cry once. Please enjoy this episode and then go listen to the whole series.
You’re in for a treat. Enjoy!
MEET BRIAR, ROSE OF THORN?
NOTE: Transcript adapted by Ria Couoh.
NOVA
Long ago, the world was at war, but the Ten Dragons arrived and changed everything. They brought peace to the world and gave us the gift of magic. Those who can use that magic are called sorcerers, descendants of draconic bloodlines. But all that is about to change. My name is Nova, and this is the story of how I became the first Warlock!
MENDEL
After a grueling day of training, a weary Nova and Ren finally arrived at the tavern. Though night had only just fallen, rowdy patrons were already spilling out the front door in laughter and song. The Drunken Goblin sat near the city’s edge, but the surrounding district still buzzed with life.
NOVA
Umm.. Why did Xarion have us meet here, exactly?
REN
Well it is a popular spot but Teach has asked to meet up here the last three nights I’ve been here. So, I think it has more to do with the food… He orders this meat pie every time. Personally, I think it needs more seasoning, but he goes nuts for it.
NOVA
Are we even allowed inside without an adult?
XARION
I’m an adult!
REN/NOVA
Gah!
XARION
6:34, you’re early! I knew I liked you two.
MENDEL
Xarion had appeared behind them in an instant, silent as a shade.
REN
Oh yeah, he does that…EVERY TIME!
NOVA
(Under her breath)
You sure act childish sometimes…
XARION
Cmon, let’s head on in, you two need to get some rest! You know what they say, the best adventures always start in a tavern! Plus the food here is INCREDIBLE.
MENDEL
Xarion opened the door and ushered the two of them in. They were immediately met with the sound of tavern songs, rowdy patrons, and some of the most delicious smells Nova had ever experienced.
SERVER
Xarion! Ren! Come on in, saved you a table!
XARION
You’re the best!
NOVA
Wow, if the food is as good as it smells, I can understand why we’re here.
MENDEL
As Nova stepped inside, something caught her attention. Oakvale was a city largely populated by humans, yet the tavern brimmed with folk of every kind. In the streets, Xarion’s crimson skin and horns drew stares…but here, he blended into the crowd. No one so much as blinked.
XARION
Have a seat, I’m going to order some food. Don’t even look at the menu, just trust me on this!
MENDEL
Without a word, Xarion scurried off to the bar, disappearing into the crowd ease. Ren dropped into the nearest chair and casually kicked his feet up onto the table, as if he owned the place.
REN
(sigh)
Nothing like a good meal after a hard day’s work.
MENDEL
They’d barely settled in when a hulking ogre took notice and began lumbering toward their table, each step sending a faint tremor through the floor.
GRUMBLE
Hey Tumble, check it out, a new sorcerer!
MENDEL
From behind him, an orc stepped away from the bar. Nova couldn’t help but notice the massive battle axe strapped to his back.
TUMBLE
Another one, Grumble? This one’s so puny.
NOVA
I’m actually average height for my age, I think you’re just big… Um.. Hi, I’m Nova?
GRUMBLE
Nova, huh? Well, Nova, when some hot shot new sorcerer comes into OUR tavern, we’ve only got one question.
MENDEL
The two loomed over Nova as she glanced up nervously, only for their scowls to melt into wide, toothy grins.
GRUMBLE
What’s your legacy?
TUMBLE
How many push ups can you do?
GRUMBLE
What’s your favorite dessert?
NOVA
Astral, five, caramel custard… and that was three questions…. Did I pass?
TUSK
You idiots, out of my way, That one and I have a score to settle.
MENDEL
A wereboar pushed Grumble and Tumble out of the way to have a seat across from Ren.
REN
Hmm? Ah I see you’ve recovered from last time, Tusk. You sure you’re ready for another thrashing?
TUSK
The first two times you got lucky. There is no way I’m losing to some brat 3 times in a row.
MENDEL
With a smirk, Ren leaned forward and planted his elbow on the table, arm outstretched in a clear challenge.
TUSK
No tricks, no legacies. Just a pure test of muscle!
REN
Oh? You sure about that big guy? I want you to at least have a chance!
TUSK
(angry)
LET’S DANCE, PUNK
REN
YOU’RE GOING DOWN, LITTLE PIG!
MENDEL
Tusk began to show strain as he tried to lay Ren’s hand flat onto the table. But Ren looked like he hadn’t even broken a sweat. And with a yawn Ren exclaimed.
REN
You done?
MENDEL
And almost effortlessly Ren slammed Tusk’s hand to the table surface.
Sounds of cheers and laughter.
TUSK
I can’t believe it, how is there so much strength in such a little guy?
REN
It’s not just raw strength, it’s about techni-HEY WHO YOU CALLIN LITTLE!?
TUSK
Heh, if you got beef maybe we should take our contest outside for a real sparring match
REN
Ah finally you’re showing some real meddle. Whatta ya say Nova? If me and you take on all three of them it might almost be a fair fight hehehe.
NOVA
(internal)
…oh please, oh ten dragons, no I can barely move from training… Xarion…anyone please save us.
SELINA
Hey, morons! Leave them alone; they look exhausted.
MENDEL
A woman at the end of the bar barked at the three oafs without even glancing up from her pint. Her hood was pulled low, but Nova couldn’t miss the two furry ears poking through the top: black with smoky gray tips. She wore a sorcerer’s uniform, though it looked like it hadn’t seen a wash in weeks.
NOVA
Also… we’re children.
GRUMBLE
(looking at Ren)
I’d believe she’s a kid, but how old are you exactly, Ren?
REN
What’s that supposed to mean! You sayin I look like some old geezer!!!
MENDEL
But before another shouting match could begin Xarion walked back over to the table with a tray full of food.
XARION
Dinner is served! There’s plenty, dig in! Make sure you try the steak and ale pie, it’s world famous. And another beer for the cat at the end of the bar.
NOVA
Are we even allowed to have ale? I don’t know if my mom would-
REN
Ha! Don’t worry twinkles, the alcohol cooks off and just leaves the flavor, though not enough flavor if you ask me…
NOVA
Oooooh… okay! ONE STEAK AND ALE PIE PLEAAAASE.
SELINA
Nice job bringing some kids into a tavern, Xar, some real grade A teaching!
MENDEL
She turned around to jeer at Xarion, and to Nova’s surprise, she had a human face.
XARION
Good to see you, too, Selina. I’ll buy the next round of milk, too!
SELINA
Go back to hell, Xarion!
NOVA
This is the best thing I have ever smelled.
XARION
It’s the best food for miles! As you can see, people come from all over just to get a meal. Now dig in!
REN/NOVA/XARION
Thank you for the meal!
MENDEL
The three sat down and enjoyed their delicious steak and ale pies. The tray also had other delicious looking entrees that Nova had never seen before.
REN
Eh, not bad, but I still think these pies could be better.
NOVA
(internal)
Ren is crazy! These things are out of this world! The crust is perfect: crispy on the edges, but all soft and buttery where it soaks up the gravy. And the meat just…melts. And that ale sauce? It’s like drinking a campfire on a cold night.
XARION
I told you it’s delicious! Just make sure to pace yourself.
Flash ahead.
NOVA
(groaning)
Uhh, I’m not feeling too good. I probably shouldn’t have eaten that third helping of manticore kebabs.
REN
I’m ready for dessert!
Nova
(Snapping out of it)
Wait, they have dessert?
XARION
You too, focus. Tomorrow you’ll meet your third classmate. She lives in a small village called Greywood near the western mountains. I think she’ll be able to teach you both quite a lot, she’s level 3.
NOVA
Level 3?
XARION
Oh I suppose you don’t know about this yet, Nova. Registered sorcerers are all assigned levels based on their power, skill, and mastery of their Legacy and Myst. For example, Nova, you’re level 1.
NOVA
WHAT!? Level ONE?
XARION
And Ren is level 2. See, I’ll show you. Kaida!
MENDEL
A small puff of purple smoke appeared on Xarion’s shoulder. As it cleared, his blink dragon was perched on his shoulder. A leatherbound book in her front claws.
XARION
Thanks, Kaida.
MENDEL
And as soon as she appeared, she poofed away blah blah blah
REN
Level 2? Tsk, maybe based on what I’ve shown you so far. I ain’t interested in what some book has to say about me. Real world impressions are all that matter.
NOVA
Wait, what’s the highest level a sorcerer can get to?
XARION
Oh, it’s 20. But pretty much no one ever gets there.
NOVA
Well, what’s YOUR level?
XARION
13. But I may level up to 14 soon! I think I’m due for a level now that you mention it. I keep asking the Headmaster…
NOVA
Let me see that book!
MENDEL
Nova flipped through the pages until she found her entry. It was just as Xarion said, a large red one glaring at her from the page.
NOVA
I guess that makes sense… I did JUST get a legacy… I wonder… B… B…Briskwind…Boldbank…BLOODWEAVER. Wait, SHE’S LEVEL 3?! SERIOUSLY?
XARION
Kira’s legacy manifested years ago, she’s had a lot of time to master her powers.
NOVA
I’m never going to be as strong as her, am I? I don’t even want to see Balthazar’s. But maybe-
XARION
Alright, that’s enough, give me that. You’ll torture yourself. Go get some rest! We head out at first light. And make sure you wear your change of clothes, we’re going to be traveling incognito tomorrow.
NOVA
Why?
XARION
We don’t want to draw too much attention to ourselves, especially near the mountains. We aren’t exactly on the best terms with Stoneshale, so I’d hate to be spotted so near the border. *sigh* Look at me, I went and ordered too much food again. Does anyone else want anything?
GRUMBLE
I’m starving, I’ll take that if you’re done.
MENDEL
The ogre reached for Ren’s plate, little did he know, Ren had added a few extra spices of his own.
REN
Oh I wouldn’t touch that if I were you. I added my own special spice rub to it, and it’s heavy on the ember root. It tastes fantastic but it’s…pretty spicy.
GRUMBLE
I think I’ll be fine, little man.
MENDEL
Grumble took a large bite of the pie in an attempt to show off. All it took was a few seconds before the Orc started to cry out in agony
GRUMBLE
Ahhhhh, water!!! Beer!!!! An ice spell, anything?!!! Somebody get me something!!!
XARION
Here are your keys, you both have rooms upstairs, I’m gonna catch up with Selina, I’ll see you down here for breakfast.
MENDEL
They all went to bed. Nova’s body ached with exhaustion, but her mind refused to rest. For the first time in years, she felt her dream might actually be within reach. As she drifted off to sleep, thoughts of her father and brother lingered in her mind, mingling with the distant clink of flagons and bursts of bawdy laughter echoing through the tavern.
The next morning, she made her way downstairs to find Xarion already at the bar, quietly eating breakfast. He wore a dark gray doublet over a black undershirt. Nova, meanwhile, had chosen a light blue blouse with long sleeves and a pair of light brown breeches, held up by simple suspenders.
XARION
Morning, have you seen Ren yet?
REN
Right here, teach!
MENDEL
Ren appeared at the top of the stairs, his cape billowing as usual. However, he was still shirtless.
NOVA
Aren’t we supposed to wear different clothing?
REN
I did, I’m wearing my black pants!
NOVA
(internal)
Leave it to that knuckle head to miss the idea that we are supposed to look unassuming. Although I will say the black pants and white boots do look really cool together.
XARION
It’s fine, I don’t think we can make Ren stand out any less than he already does. Now eat up, we need to hit the road.
NOVA
Can I ask a question? Why don’t we just teleport there?
XARION
Fair point, but my power gets a little tricky if I teleport more than two people. I might put the bodies back together wrong. You don’t want Ren’s arm coming out of your head, do you?
REN
What’s wrong with that? Sounds like an improvement to me
NOVA
That’s horrifying.
REN
Don’t you know teleportation? You’re level 13, you get 7th level spells and whatever.
XARION
That’s true….but I picked Finger of Death.
NOVA
Finger of WHAT?
XARION
So, we’re on foot. That’s why you need to eat, it’s a full day’s walk.
MENDEL
After a hearty breakfast, they set off westward, keeping a steady pace along the forest trail. Every few hours, they paused to rest, but never for long. Xarion took the opportunity to offer occasional lectures, pointing out useful herbs or naming creatures that crossed their path. The sun dipped lower in the sky as they reached the base of the mountain, the trees thinning around them. Just as the shadows began to stretch, a flicker of movement in the trees caught Xarion’s eye.
REN
Look, all I’m sayin is there is no way an Owlbear would lose a fight to some glorified teleporter like a Phase Panther.
NOVA
Keep dreamin! Owlbears are strong but a Phase Panther would be dancing circles around it.
XARION
Hmm, Eight? They can probably handle that.
NOVA
Handle what?
MENDEL
Nova turned to look at Xarion, but he was gone.
NOVA
XARION!
REN
Shh, quiet, we’re not alone.
MENDEL
Branches snapped and leaves rustled as a group of bandits dropped from the trees, surrounding them in an instant. Blades flashed in the fading light, their eyes gleaming with malice.
NOVA
(counting)
One, two, three, four…WAIT, there’s EIGHT?!
REN
What a bunch of chumps! Barely a challenge. Barely even HALF a challenge. Though there are a lot of them. Good thing I’ve got you here, Twinkles. I’m great and all but I have trouble against too many at once.
GRONGO
Muahahaha, you fools! You have crossed paths with us, the Chosen Bandits! We were once so weak, but now we have strength of magic on our side! Fear us!! Fear our magic items!! Fear our strength in numbers!! We’ll take every piece of gold you’ve got! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA.
REN
Hmm, alright, I’ll take the loud mouth and the two chumps next to him. Once I get started hit the rest of ‘em with the light show.
NOVA
O-Okay!
GRONGO
I shall go first, I GRONGO THE GREAT, I shall use the power in this hat to DESTROY YOU. Prepare yourself, for this shall be your final moment on this eaaaarth!!! MAGIC, COME TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
MENDEL
Grongo pressed his left hand to his forehead, channeling the magic hidden within the hat. His brow furrowed in deep concentration, as if the effort physically hurt. With a dramatic sweep, he thrust out his right hand. A glowing light sparked to life in his palm…growing brighter, pulsing with myst. Then, with a sudden poof, the light vanished.
In its place, sitting in Grongo’s outstretched hand… was a rat.
GRONGO
AAAHAHAHAHA!!! A RAT!! YES!! ATTACK THIS ENEMY, I COMMAND YOU!!
MENDEL
Little did Grongo know, the Hat of Vermin was a finicky piece of magic. It could summon creatures, yes…but commanding them was another matter entirely. The rat blinked once, gave a small squeak, and promptly scurried off into the woods, leaving Grongo staring at his empty palm.
Awkward sound.
REN
You done?
MENDEL
Ren dashed forward and punched Grongo in the face.
GRONGO
UGH!
(anime pain noise, shivering sounds)
REN
Frozen Fist!!!
MENDEL
In one hit it was over, the head goon lay shivering on the ground covered in a layer of frost.
REN
Sorry to put your boss on ice, guess I should have you guys keep him company! Taser Grip!
MENDEL
The scene erupted into chaos as Ren engaged with the remaining goons. Ren dashed forward with a storm of punches and kicks flying into the bandits.
NOVA
Now it’s up to ME to take out a bunch of ya with one big BLAST! Prepare yourself for an ASTRAAAAAAAAL BEAM!
MENDEL
Nova turned her focus inward, gathering energy for a powerful blast. She thrust out her hand toward the gang…only for a tiny beam of light to sputter out, stretching no more than two feet before fizzling in the air.
NOVA
As… Astral beam?
REN
Aww c’mon kid we worked on this! *sigh* If we survive this, we are gonna have to double your training routine.
MENDEL
One of the bandits made a lunge at Nova.
NOVA
Come on, power…WORK!
(Internal)
What are you doing, are you stopping my attack?
LADY IN DARKNESS
I was trying to nap, you should be able to do this on your own. These men are hardly worth my attention.
MENDEL
Nova tried again, but nothing but a few sparks and fizzles
LADY IN DARKNESS
Ohhhhhh, this is just embarrassing. What a waste of my beautiful power.
NOVA
If you’re not gonna help, then be quiet! Astral beam! Astral BEAM!
MENDEL
After one more attempt, Nova began to run.
NOVA
AH! REN, HELP!
MENDEL
But Ren was still in the middle of fighting his share of the bandits.
REN
Crap, Twinkles! Do a different spell!
NOVA
I don’t know any other spells!
REN
You gotta know SOMETHING else!
BANDIT
Ha, got you!
MENDEL
A bandit cornered Nova. He raised his club high in the air.
NOVA
Ren!
REN
Twinkles!
BRIAR
Looks like you could use some help.
MENDEL
Just as the bandit raised his weapon to strike Nova, a thick vine shot from the underbrush, coiling around his ankle. With a sudden yank, he was hurled into the air, crashing through the branches above.
Briar Nightshade. Legacy: Botany.
She is able to grow and manipulate plant life.
BRIAR
HEY! Don’t just stand there, do something!
NOVA
Watch out! There’s another one over-
MENDEL
The bandit roared as he charged Briar, greataxe raised high. But before the blade could fall, a thick vine burst from the earth and slammed upward, catching him square in the chin and launching him off his feet in a brutal uppercut.
BRIAR
Yeah, I’m aware.
MENDEL
The bandits rushed in to attack Briar. She swept her arms from side to side, and vines erupted from the earth like writhing tentacles. With movements both precise and fluid, she guided them effortlessly, the vines snaking around the four attackers before yanking them aside and binding them tightly to the surrounding trees.
BRIAR
(to Ren)
I take it you can handle the last one? Or do I need to do that, too?
REN
Tsk. Show-off.
MENDEL
Briar shook the ruffians upside down to relieve them of their magical items. Dozens of small trinkets fell out of their bags and pockets.
BRIAR
Are any of these helpful to you, Professor Xarion?
MENDEL
Xarion walked out from behind a nearby tree to inspect the loot.
XARION
Yes! I’ll be taking these back with us. Although these are some low rated dolts, I’m curious who gave them these items. Though, from the looks of it, most of them are rated as common magic items. Ren, nice work! Nova, looks like we need to work on your skill under pressure.
NOVA
YOU DISAPPEARED ON PURPOSE?!
XARION
Of course, I sized them up pretty quickly, I wanted to see what you two could do in a field test. Think of it as a pop quiz. I didn’t expect Briar to show up. Speaking of, Briar, meet the other members of Class Red; Ren and Nova.
NOVA
That was really amazing! Thank you for all your help. Wow, and you’re already level three. No wonder you were able to take out so many of them in just one swoop!
REN
Look I had it handled ok!…. But…. thanks for saving Twinkles
BRIAR
Of course, it was simple. Like something a child could handle.
REN
Grrrrr… I’m gonna walk ahead to scout so we don’t get jumped again.
MENDEL
And with a grumble Ren stormed off
REN
(fading as he walked away)
Little smart ass, I’ll show you simple. I’m just hungry that’s all next time I’ll take on 10, no 20 goons all on my own, see how she likes that.
XARION
(sigh)
I should probably go talk to him before he sulks for the next few days. You two can hold up the rear, use this time to get acquainted.
MENDEL
And just like that, Nova was once again walking beside a stranger. Briar kept her gaze forward, arms crossed, offering no words or glances. The silence stretched between them, and Nova couldn’t help but feel like she was intruding on her own walk.
NOVA
Um…thank you for helping me out.
BRIAR
It would have been more of a nuisance watching you fail miserably
NOVA
How did you get so powerful?!
BRIAR
I’m guessing you don’t know who I am, do you?
NOVA
Yeah, you’re Briar Nightshade, my classmate! Xarion told me all about you!
BRIAR
Yes…yes I am. I…I thought my reputation would have given myself away.
NOVA
O…k. Well, I’m sorry I’ve never heard of you before….yesterday, but your legacy is incredible! The way you just swept the floor with those guys!
BRIAR
Like I said, it was all child’s play.
NOVA
How long have you had your legacy? I’m actually pretty new to-
BRIAR
Look, we’re classmates, not friends. I don’t need to know your back story, I just need you to start carrying your own weight, got it? If it’s going to be three years of me picking up your slack, I’m going to ask for a class transfer.
MENDEL
Briar picked up the pace to catch up with Xarion and Ren. Nova stopped in her tracks. The fleeting moment of excitement at meeting her new classmate was quickly swept away.
NOVA
Being friends would sure make things a lot easier.
XARION
Nova, c’mon! We’re almost there!
NOVA
Oh, right, coming!
MENDEL
Meanwhile, in a cave nestled deep within the forest, golden light spilled through the trees as the sun dipped below the horizon. A badly bruised and beaten member of Grongo’s gang cowered before a figure sitting in the dark.
BANDIT
Did we steal anything? Are you kidding me, I barely made it out of there.
SKARN
And you say they were children? How pathetic.
BANDIT
They were sorcerers! That vine girl was there, she helped this buff kid with a pompadour and some girl with a sun tattoo on her hand!
SKARN
Wait, a sun tattoo? Did she have lavender hair?
BANDIT
Yeah. Why do you know her?
SKARN
No, but I know Foundation is after her. Hmm, this might not have been such a bad day after all. This might be just what I need to get back in his good graces.
MENDEL
The figure leaned forward to reveal himself in the fading sunlight. He was a thin yet muscular man wearing the tan sorcerer uniform of Stoneshale, the neighboring great city. He had long, wild blonde hair, and on his face was a sandstone mask, once broken, but repaired with thick iron rivets.
SKARN
I’ll show him, he’ll see! He’ll see that he needs me. Flint, come here.
FLINT
Yeah, boss.
SKARN
I have a little errand for you…
OUTRO:
NOVA
NEXT TIME ON WARLOCK. Class Red arrived in Greywood to find the town steeped in unease: rumors of strange sightings and unusual happenings whispered among the locals. Sensing something amiss, Xarion makes the call to keep the class in town for the week, shifting their lessons off-campus so they can keep an eye on the area.
REN
Ahhh, nice to be away from that stuffy school. Nature is my element.
BRIAR
Ha. I’d say it’s more my element than yours, cape boy.
REN
Alright that’s it, there is no way i can go another episode without fighting her!
NOVA
ANYWAY! Episode 4, Xarion’s Test: Teacher vs Students, on Warlock!
TRANSCRIPT ENDS.