Skip to content

BONUS: Blooper Reel

Published by innbetween on January 12, 2019

Transcript is below the cut!

(Transcription note: In addition to our actors (Marquis, Kira, Kaleigh, Riley, and Austin), this blooper reel features the voices of our producer (Katherine Ayers), our assistant director (William Wright), and our director (Hannah Wright).

HANNAH
This blooper reel is brought to you by our patrons. Thanks to all of them, especially to The Red Rhino podcast, our 20th patron. Do you like superheroes and our show? Then chances are you’ll love Red Rhino. If you want to help support Inn Between, go to patreon.com/thegoblinshead. Also, be advised that unlike the rest of our show, this blooper reel contains swears. Be safe out there!

(Dee Yan-Key’s “The Sleeping Bugbear” plays in the background. It’s a mellow, pleasant jazz piano accompanied by a low string instrument and drums.)

HANNAH
And then this is the bit where Meltyre talks about underwater caves.

 

(awkward pause)
MARQUIS
(whispering)
Do we actually say Meltyre’s stuff?

HANNAH
I’m going to, yes. I don’t know why I didn’t then.

(laughing)
HANNAH
Sorry. Yeah.
(exaggerated Meltyre voice)
I found out how to break the curse—
(breaks up laughing)
—sorry—but you’re not going to like it.
HANNAH
It’s a good goof, but it’s not that good.
WILLIAM
Oh.
HANNAH
Not yet.
AUSTIN
Wait.
(muffled belch)
(cast laughter)
AUSTIN
I’m sorry if you can hear that.
WILLIAM
Save that for posterity.
(chuckles)
KATHERINE
I’ll send it to you.
(more laughter)
AUSTIN
Okay…
HANNAH
No, that’s fine.
AUSTIN
I’m just worried that it doesn’t sound—
RILEY
Nuh-uh.
AUSTIN
—cuz I don’t know why I can’t—does it sound—
RILEY
No, it’s good.
AUSTIN
—like Meltyre?
RILEY
Yeah.
AUSTIN
Good.
RILEY
It sounds like Meltyre. Don’t worry.
(Austin doing Meltyre’s voice in the background)
RILEY
Listen as an expert—as an expert in Meltyre, I can tell you for certain—
(laughing)
(background talking)
KIRA
(whispering)
Why are we still here?!
(indistinct talking)
KIRA
(whispering)
Every night…
HANNAH
(in background)
—we are short on time—
KIRA
(whispering)
The Comrades have lost!
(gasping)
(awkward silence)
KIRA
(normal volume, starting to laugh)
Sorry, I’m having World War II flashbacks over here.
(laughing)

AUSTIN
(small pathetic voice)
No one can fight the Bone King.

RILEY
(exaggerated old voice)
No one can fight the Bone King!

AUSTIN
(old voice)
I tried to fight the Bone King and now I’m old!

(laughter)

RILEY
(laughing)
Bone King!

(more laughter)

HANNAH
(Tessa voice)
It’s unrelated, but still!

AUSTIN
(old voice, laughing)
He sucked the life right out of my bones!

RILEY
(old voice, laughing)
He took my bones and replaced them with old bones!
(chuckling)
He stole my young bones!
MARQUIS
Frankly, yes. Your problem was easily fixed. Mine very nearly cause irrevrocable damage!
HANNAH
Okay, uh, it’s “irrevocable.”
MARQUIS
Irrevocable.
HANNAH
Yeah.
MARQUIS
Irrevocable.
HANNAH
Irrevocable.
RILEY
“Eldritch.”

 

MARQUIS
(muttering)
Irrevocable. Frankly, yes, my problem nearly caused…
AUSTIN
(large haughty voice)
It nearly caused eldritch damage!
MARQUIS
Irrevocable.
HANNAH
It comes from the word revoke. Anyway. Yeah. Irrevocable.
MARQUIS
Irrevocable.
(pause)
Frankly, yes. Your problem was easily fixed. Mine very nearly caused irrevrocable damage.
HANNAH
There’s not another R in there.
MARQUIS
No there is not.
RILEY
Irrerrerrerrr—
MARQUIS
Irrevocable.
AUSTIN
Does nobody in this party have Mending?
RILEY
(laughs)
Nobody has Mending.
AUSTIN
Who-who does Mending?
MARQUIS
(enunciating)
Irrevocable.
HANNAH
Yeah.

 

MARQUIS
Frankly, yes. Your problem was easily fixed. Mine very nearly caused irrevocable dom-dam dom-age.
(laughter)
MARQUIS
(laughing)
A lot of dom-age.
(laughter)
AUSTIN
(silly voice)
Irrevocable damage!
MARQUIS
You knew this was coming. You knew this was comin’.
AUSTIN
You had it!
HANNAH
(exaggerated French accent in the background)
Ze dom-age was irrevocable!
MARQUIS
Irrevocable.
AUSTIN
You see you rolled a one. You got the right—you got the word right, but everything else was wrong.

MARQUIS
Would that it were so simple.

MARQUIS
…to spare some of your radiant power to—and now I’m going to yelp.
KATHERINE
Okay.
(cast chuckles)

 

MARQUIS
Ready?
KATHERINE
Yeah.
MARQUIS
‘Kay.
(pause)
Uh, power to—
(yelps like a dog barking)
(Pause…then the cast laughs.)
AUSTIN
Yelp indeed!
HANNAH
(background)
Hello adventurers.
MARQUIS
(screams)
Oh, wait—
(In the background: a Wilhelm scream. The cast laughs.)
KIRA
And then I’m not doing any crosstalk because I’m sitting here fuming about ready to fucking explode on you bitches.
(Indistinct talking)

 

RILEY
You have altogether too high of an opinion and your kid, king.
HANNAH
Nope.
RILEY
Yep, no.
(laughter)

 

HANNAH
This reel was edited and beautified by Katherine Ayers. Our music by-for this-meh, burbliblurblur.
(pause)
This reel was edited and beautified by Katherine Ayers. Our music for this bonus content was “The Sleeping Bugbear,” by Dee Yan-Key, off the album Dream Time. Thanks again to our patrons. If you’d like to join them, go to patreon.com/thegoblinshead. See you next time at the Inn.
(Song ends.)
Published inBonus Content