Our heroes need some new tactics.
Transcript is below the cut!
INTRO:
TESSA
Previously on Inn Between…
Inn Between theme plays in the background.
CASTOR
Isn’t Belling the town with the blood feud?
ROSIE
It’s just a fact-finding mission.
KNOWLES
This valley is not safe, you all should get behind me.
ZARA
Don’t flatter yourself, Knowles. How do you even—?
KNOWLES
Look out!
Three consecutive sounds of arrows flying.
Arrow hitting target.
Inn Between theme spikes then fades away.
Background sounds of tavern.
Chairs scoot as everyone sits down.
ROSIE
Can I just say… I did not find that enjoyable?
KNOWLES
Not exactly our finest hour.
ROSIE
Like… I try to be positive, but. That was just a lot.
ZARA
(derisive)
Not used to combat, are we?
ROSIE
You know it’s funny, but the thing about my job is that I prefer that people stay away from where I am perpetrating.
ZARA
Thus, the cowardice?
ROSIE
Self-preservation is not cowardice. Not all of us can shoot fire from our hands!
ZARA
I do find it’s more effective than a slingshot.
TODE
Though a slingshot is much less likely to cause harm to your allies.
ZARA
What? What are you talking about?
TODE
I’m afraid my hand is pretty badly burned. See?
CASTOR
(freaking out)
Oh-oh-oh my gods. Are you alright?
TODE
Oh! Never fear, I have berries!
CASTOR
(dubiously)
Uh…
ZARA
(firmly)
I did not do that.
KNOWLES
I must have missed the other person chucking fire at kobolds.
ZARA
(slightly panicked now)
No—Listen to me, I didn’t do that!
TODE
It’s alright, Zara. It was an accident.
ZARA
I don’t do accidents. My magic is completely under my control! I didn’t burn you.
KNOWLES
Zara…
ZARA
(loudly)
I didn’t!
KNOWLES
(sigh)
That’s not even the biggest problem we had today.
CASTOR
But… Tode is injured!
KNOWLES
I’m not saying that’s not bad. I’m saying it could have been a lot worse. Frankly, this crew is a bit of a disaster waiting to happen.
ZARA
(dry laugh)
Excuse me?
ROSIE
I don’t think that’s very fair…
TODE
But we are alive and mostly intact.
KNOWLES
All right, all right. Listen. The odds of us each individually surviving something like that are actually pretty high. We have ways of getting out of trouble by ourselves, running away.
(beat)
But the odds of all us in a fight like that, trying to win? We were lucky. Together we are… Rubbish!
ZARA
What are you talking about?
KNOWLES
Not one of you has an ounce of teamwork in your system. I can tell just by today that you’ve all been lone wolves, all of you, your whole lives.
ROSIE
(a bit strained)
Well, that’s—
CASTOR
Shockingly insightful?
KNOWLES
If we get in a fight like that again, and given what I know about this route, chances are good we will… We’re going to have to make some tactical changes.
TODE
What sort of tactical changes?
ZARA
(faux pleasantly)
Here’s a tactic for you.
(aggressive and pointedly)
Stay out of my way.
KNOWLES
No, no. That’s not gonna work for me. I’m here to protect you.
ZARA
(derisive snort)
Don’t you worry about me.
KNOWLES
Well, which is it? Do I stay out of your way or not worry about you? I can’t do both.
TODE
If you please, what sort of tactical changes?
KNOWLES
You’re actually all right, Tode, as long as you don’t get directly in the path of danger. Near me is a good spot for you.
ROSIE
I sense a “but.”
KNOWLES
Your senses are sharp. You’re smart to get out of the way, Rosie, since you’re not exactly… tank material, but if you’re going to find cover, at least get to a vantage point where you can shoot from higher ground? There were ample places to be both safe and deadly.
ROSIE
(defensive)
I was a little busy trying not to get shot by arrows!
KNOWLES
Oh, yeah, speaking of arrows, I could have sworn I saw you with a bow at some point.
ROSIE
(reticent)
Yes, I have a bow.
KNOWLES
I love the slingshot, I really do. Very distinctive. Only, it doesn’t have the range or accuracy of a bow unless you’re extremely good. And you’re rather… good, but I wouldn’t say extremely.
ROSIE
It’s just… kind of stereotypical? An elf with a bow…
KNOWLES
Rosie, please be honest with me. Would you prefer to be a stereotype or dead?
ROSIE
That’s a little dramatic.
KNOWLES
It’s not a hypothetical, Rosie.
ROSIE
(resigned)
Fine, I’ll use my bow.
KNOWLES
Thank you. And as for Zara…
ZARA
(cuttingly)
How many times do I have to say that I don’t need your help.
KNOWLES
Well, you know, Zara, I could really use yours! In front of me, you’re not only in danger, you’re between my sword –or my crossbow—and the enemy. But, if you have perfect control of your magic, you can afford to fight from a distance.
ZARA
You mean…?
KNOWLES
You ought to be closer to Rosie.
ZARA
Ugh.
KNOWLES
Take my advice or don’t. I’m just… trying to stack the odds in our favor.
CASTOR
W—What about… me?
A moment of silence.
KNOWLES
Do you have… any weapons at all?
CASTOR
Not… none to speak of. I do have a pen knife.
KNOWLES
That… isn’t a weapon.
CASTOR
I know, but… It is fairly sharp.
KNOWLES
I… I suppose you can keep that as a last resort. But if it comes to another fight, your best chance is to stick close to one of us. Stay away from open ground next time and find cover if you can. Just… don’t freeze again, okay? If you can help it?
CASTOR
(sigh)
I… am sorry about that.
KNOWLES
(genuinely)
It’s alright. Some people aren’t meant for combat. That’s a good thing. We’ll look after you.
CASTOR
(hesitantly)
I think I should…
(actually no)
Ah…
(small sigh)
Thank you. Thank you, Knowles.
KNOWLES
Sure.
(takes a breath)
Just promise me that you will all attempt a little bit of teamwork? Please? For all our sakes?
TODE
I think I can promise that.
KNOWLES
(sigh)
Good. I’ll take it.
ZARA
I don’t know why you’re making such a fuss out of this, it’s not like anyone—
CASTOR
(horrified)
Oh my gods. Knowles, are you bleeding?
KNOWLES
It’s nothing.
CASTOR
(disbelieving laughter)
That isn’t nothing! That’s a lot of blood! Let me see.
KNOWLES
It’s nothing, come on.
CASTOR
Were you stabbed?
KNOWLES
(defeated sigh)
It was an arrow. It grazed me. I’m fine.
ROSIE
Why didn’t you say anything?
KNOWLES
Because it’s not that ba—
(loudly)
Ow!
CASTOR
(disbelieving and slightly angry)
If you don’t wash this immediately, it may become infected.
ROSIE
What are the odds on that, Knowles?
KNOWLES
Oh, fairly high? I was… gonna wash it later.
TODE
Here, have some berries.
KNOWLES
(well, that’s sketchy)
Uh, what kind of berries…?
TODE
Good ones!
ZARA
It’s healing magic.
KNOWLES
Ooh. Well, in that case.
ZARA
When did you get hit by an arrow anyway?
KNOWLES
(through a mouthful of berries)
When your back was turned.
(swallows)
ZARA
My back was turned on you the whole time. It was between you and the kobolds?
KNOWLES
It was only turned on the kobolds once.
Healing magic sounds of a wound being closed.
KNOWLES
(unsettled)
Uh. That’s ticklish. I… don’t like that.
CASTOR
Let me see. It’s better but… you’ll still need to wash up.
KNOWLES
Yeah, thanks, Dad.
ROSIE
(softly)
Teamwork. That’s new.
(beat)
Could be fun!
KNOWLES
It often is! And, it has the added benefit in this case of keeping us all alive! Which I, personally, am a fan of.
TODE
That is a point inarguable.
ZARA
Wait… are you saying the one time I turned my back…
(disbelieving)
You saved my life?
KNOWLES
Oh, no. Between the angle of the arrow and Tode’s premiere berries, the odds of you dying were pretty low, even if you were hit.
(beat)
Is someone gonna buy me a drink?
(jokingly woeful)
I have been horribly wounded.
ROSIE
(amused)
Oh, definitely. You and your grisly wound.
Chair scoots over.
ROSIE
I’ll get this round.
CASTOR
Do you need a hand?
ROSIE
I wouldn’t say no.
Chairs scoot over.
TODE
Time to find my tree for the evening, I think… no drink for me.
ROSIE
Sure thing, Tode.
Footsteps going away.
KNOWLES
(low groan of pain)
Oof…
ZARA
It hurts?
KNOWLES
Doesn’t feel great! The berries helped. But you don’t care, do you?
ZARA
What are the odds you pull something like that again?
KNOWLES
It’s a safe bet. It’s… It is my job.
ZARA
I don’t need to be indebted to anyone, Knowles.
KNOWLES
You’re not! I’m not one to call in favors. It’s all a gamble. And hey!
(amused)
If you actually decide to go along with this little teamwork idea of mine, chances are you’ll be paying me back in turn before too long.
Silence.
ZARA
Tactics, huh?
KNOWLES
You like to fight, Zara. Fight smarter, not harder, and odds are good we’ll make it all the way to Belling.
ZARA
Fine.
KNOWLES
(teasing)
Surely this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!
ZARA
No, it’s not.
KNOWLES
(laughs)
Footsteps coming closer.
ROSIE
Who wants cider?
KNOWLES
Oh, let’s have it then.
ROSIE
(jokingly)
For the valiant hero!
KNOWLES
(laughs)
Oh, thank you, thank you.
Background sounds of inn fade away.
OUTRO:
Inn Between theme plays in the background.
TESSA
Next time, on Inn Between…
TODE
Once we pass over this ridge, the forest becomes thick and full of life. We’ll be passing through some of the oldest trees in the kingdom!
(excitedly)
Who knows who we’ll meet!
ZARA
Hopefully, no one.
KNOWLES
It’s just woods, we should be fine.
ROSIE
Just woods.
(dubious)
Right.
CREDITS:
HANNAH
This episode, “The Team”, was written and directed by Hannah Wright with assistant director William Wright. The show is produced and edited by Katherine Ayers.
The voice of Castor is Caleb Del Rio. The voice of Zara is Quin Leigh. The voice of Tode is Anthony Morales. The voice of Rosie is Lucille Valentine. And the voice of Knowles is JV Hampton-VanSant.
Our theme song is by Eli Hamada McIlveen and our artwork is by Gabrielle Buxman. Our transcriber is Ria Couoh.
Transcripts for this and every episode can be found on our website, thegoblinshead.com.
Find and follow us on Twitter, @inn_between_. Or support us on patreon, patreon.com/thegoblinshead.
If you like the show, find some mythical healing berries deep in your local woods. Or leave us a review.
Thanks for listening!
Music ends.
POST CREDITS:
Background sounds of tavern.
TESSA
Kobold insurance! Do I look like I need kobold insurance? Excuse me, do you see this stuffed goblin head behind the counter? As if some kobolds could give me more trouble than Harold did. What do you take me for?
Background sounds of tavern fade away.
EPISODE ENDS.