Our heroes encounter some wildlife.
Transcript is below the cut!
TESSA
Previously on Inn Between…
Inn Between theme plays in the background.
CASTOR
Isn’t Belling the town with the blood feud?
ROSIE
It’s just a fact-finding mission.
TODE
What lovely, thick woods these are!
CASTOR
Who knows what’s in here?
KNOWLES
(lightly)
It’s just woods, we should be fine.
Inn Between theme spikes then fades away.
Background tavern noises.
ROSIE
Gooood morning, everyone!
Chair scoots.
KNOWLES
There she is! Now we can get going!
ROSIE
Can I eat first?
CASTOR
We can wait a few more minutes.
KNOWLES
We’re burning daylight here!
ROSIE
Sorry, I’m still getting used to waking up on… other people’s schedules? But what is the rush?
ZARA
Personally, I don’t see why we should all wait on her.
CASTOR
(awkwardly)
Well, Tode isn’t here either.
KNOWLES
Tode doesn’t need a leisurely breakfast. He just rolls out of bed!
(beat)
Or… tree, as it were.
ROSIE
Where is Tode? He’s usually inside by now.
CASTOR
Shall I go check on him?
KNOWLES
If you’d like.
Chair scoots.
Steps going away.
Steps approaching.
TESSA
Here you are, dear! Toast and eggs, just the way you like them.
A plate being set down.
ROSIE
Thank you, Miss Tessa!
TESSA
Of course, dear. Personally, I appreciate you saving me the effort.
KNOWLES
What are you…?
Rosie tap taps the egg.
ROSIE
(loud, unfortunate slurping noises)
ZARA
(was not ready for this at all)
Was that… raw?
ROSIE
(nonchalant)
Hm?
Hurried steps approaching.
CASTOR
(gasping for breath and panting)
(panicked)
There’s a… There’s a bear!
TESSA
There’s a what?
CASTOR
(quickly)
There’s… There’s a bear right outside the door of the inn!
ZARA
(skeptical)
A bear.
CASTOR
A bear!
KNOWLES
Like a real, living bear?
CASTOR
(urgently)
Am I being unclear?
TESSA
(completely calm)
Leave it alone, it should go away eventually.
Multiple chairs scooting loudly and plates clattering as everyone stands up. They do not, in fact, intend to leave it alone.
Hurried steps.
TESSA
(fading out as they get away)
Really, adventurers, it’s alright!
ROSIE
Tode is out there!
KNOWLES
Stop. Stop.
Steps come to a halt.
KNOWLES
How big is a bear?
ZARA
(disbelieving)
You don’t know?
KNOWLES
(defensive)
Excuse me for living my whole life in a city!
ROSIE
Just… open the door and see.
CASTOR
(why would you do that?)
Open the door?
ROSIE
(whispered)
Just a little!
KNOWLES
Alright.
Door creaks open just a tad.
Bear growls.
Door closes quickly.
KNOWLES
(city folk has never seen an animal so big)
Oh my gods, it will eat Tode in two bites.
ROSIE
What’s our play here, sergeant?
Sword being unsheathed.
KNOWLES
Nothing for it! Maybe if we go out the back door, we can circle the inn and and catch it by surprise?
ZARA
No. Stop. We’re not thinking.
(emphatically)
He’s a druid!
KNOWLES
What…?
CASTOR
Zara, no! Don’t— !
Door creaks open.
ZARA
(calling out)
Tode?
TODE
(distant)
(casually)
Oh! Hello, everyone!
Bear grumbles.
TODE
Don’t you worry, ma’am! They’re friends of mine!
KNOWLES
(aside)
Is he talking… to the bear?
ZARA
(calling out)
You need to tell her that she’s in danger from people if she stays in town!
TODE
Oh, she knows. She was just leaving.
(pleasantly)
Have a lovely summer, ma’am!
Bear pants a goodbye.
TODE
Is Rosie finished eating?
(beat)
Were you going to kill that bear?
Sword being sheathed.
KNOWLES
(pause)
(clearly lying)
Nooo…
TODE
(disapproving)
What on earth would you do that for? She meant no harm!
KNOWLES
And how was I supposed to know that?
TODE
I thought her meaning was fairly clear.
ZARA
Not all of us can just… talk to bears.
TODE
(confused)
Talk…? We do understand each other but it’s not exactly talking.
KNOWLES
We thought you were in danger, that’s all.
TESSA
(distant)
(slightly irritated)
Are you coming or going, adventurers? Shut the door, you’re letting the bugs in.
TODE
Apologies, Tessa. Although I would suggest you’re missing out on some perfectly friendly bugs.
Door is shut.
TODE
Really, you needn’t worry. I spoke to bears long before I spoke to people.
ROSIE
I suppose that’s what makes you an expert!
CASTOR
(baffled)
Before people? How? Were you… raised by bears?
TODE
By wolves, actually.
ROSIE
(to no one)
This explains so much!
KNOWLES
(freaking out a little)
How can you talk to that thing? It was monstrous!
TODE
All mortal creatures only want to survive.
KNOWLES
(still processing)
It was bigger than a horse!
TODE
(amused)
You may yet see bigger on our journey, child of the city.
KNOWLES
God’s names.
TESSA
(distant)
Are you coming back to finish this, Rosie?
ROSIE
Uh, I’ll take it to go, I think. Assuming it’s safe, Tode?
TODE
Oh, yes. Perfectly.
ROSIE
That was some quick thinking, Zara!
ZARA
Well, slow thinking wasn’t gonna do the trick, was it?
ROSIE
Oh, leaping Lolth, take the compliment!
TESSA
(no longer distant)
Here you go, dear. Safe travels, all. I’m sure I’ll see you again before too long.
CASTOR
(groans)
How much further to Belling?
TODE
We are not even halfway there.
Various groans of displeasure.
TESSA
(dryly)
I do hope the accommodations are not what’s causing you distress.
TODE
No, of course not!
ROSIE
Yeah, I like it here!
TESSA
Good. I don’t think you have much choice in the matter.
Steps going away.
KNOWLES
Can’t you sleep inside, Tode?
TODE
Why would I want to do that?
KNOWLES
For my peace of mind, please? I’m supposed to protect you.
TODE
You cannot protect me from nature. Nature is indifferent and will do as she will.
KNOWLES
But at least if you’re inside you can’t get eaten by a monster.
TODE
That was no monster. Your fear is not necessarily indicative of danger.
KNOWLES
(defensive)
My fea—I’m not afraid! This isn’t fear!
TODE
Yes, it is. Or at least uncertainty about that which you do not know.
KNOWLES
So, what if it is? I’m trying to do my job.
TODE
You wish to protect me and that is noble. But you must also trust me when I know more than you do. And I do know more than you do, Knowles. I’ve lived in the wild for far longer than you’ve been alive.
ZARA
He’s got a point.
KNOWLES
(sigh)
Yeah. Alright.
TODE
Besides, most bears find gnomes unbearably greasy.
CASTOR
(continues being baffled about everything Tode)
Most bears?
ROSIE
(laughs)
Oh, my gods, it’s too early for this.
ZARA
(done with this)
Are we going now?
CASTOR
We are standing in the doorway.
KNOWLES
Yes, let’s go. We have wasted enough daylight as it is. It’s nearly lunch.
Door creaks open.
ROSIE
Oh, are you hungry? Do you want my other egg?
KNOWLES
No, I do not.
Door is shut.
Inn Between theme plays in the background.
TESSA
Next time, on Inn Between…
TODE
I am feeling very at home in these woods.
ZARA
That makes one of us.
CASTOR
Do you know how easy it would be to get… lost?
HANNAH
This episode, “The Bear”, was written and directed by Hannah Wright with assistant director William Wright. The show is produced and edited by Katherine Ayers.
The voice of Castor is Caleb Del Rio. The voice of Zara is Quin Leigh. The voice of Tode is Anthony Morales. The voice of Rosie is Lucille Valentine. The voice of Knowles is JV Hampton-VanSant. The voice of Tessa is Hannah Wright.
Our theme song is by Eli Hamada McIlveen and our artwork is by Gabrielle Buxman. Our transcriber is Ria Couoh.
The transcripts for this and every episode can be found on our website, thegoblinshead.com.
Find and follow us on Twitter, @inn_between_. Or support us on patreon, at patreon.com/thegoblinshead.
If you like the show, crack and egg straight into your mouth. Or leave us a review.
Thanks for listening!
Music ends.
Background tavern noises.
TODE
I don’t understand why you won’t serve my friend.
TESSA
Well, mostly I’m concerned how she plans to hold a cup with claws like that.
Bear growls.
Background noise fades away.
Episode ends.