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BONUS: Demonology Practicum

Castor is experimenting.

Transcript is below the cut!

Downloadable PDF Transcript

Transcript provided by Ria Couoh.

**************

 

A wooden door creaks open.

 

POLLUX
(a gung-ho and young-sounding man)
Hey, Castor!

 

Pages of a book turning.

 

CASTOR
Oh, Pollux, hi! What is it?

 

POLLUX
Just wanted to say goodbye before I leave for work!

 

CASTOR
Is the shop open yet?

 

POLLUX
Yeah, everybody’s upstairs! And they already made a sale!

 

CASTOR
Huh. Maybe we’ll break even for a change.

 

POLLUX
(chuckles)
Yeah… Uh, is today the day?

 

CASTOR
(takes a breath)
I think so!

 

POLLUX
Wow. Good luck!

 

CASTOR
Thanks? I… don’t even know if it will work.

 

POLLUX
Be careful, okay? I’ve only got the one brother!

 

CASTOR
I should be telling you that.

 

POLLUX
Come on, Castor!

 

CASTOR
(emphatically)
The accident rate at that mine—

 

POLLUX
I’m going to be fine!

 

CASTOR
How many people say that?

 

POLLUX
You’re so paranoid! It’s going to be okay, really! It’s just until I can get the tuition money saved up!

 

CASTOR
Well, you’ll always be the best chef in our book.

 

POLLUX
(insistent)
But not in everyone else’s! Not until I train with the best!

 

CASTOR
(sigh)
Just… be careful. Okay?

 

POLLUX
(laughing)
You first! I’ll see you tonight! And I’ll want to hear all about it, alright?

 

CASTOR
Of course. Love you.

 

POLLUX
Love you too.

 

Door creaks shut with a click.

 

A pause.

 

CASTOR
(takes a deep breath)
Okay…

 

Pages turn.

A match is lit.

 

CASTOR
(slowly)
Here… we… go.
(echoing, confidently)
Hadegh zi psik kes soo chuznak rist wi.

 

Ominous, deep hum in the background. It elevates into a deep ringing. It stops suddenly.

 

CASTOR
Hello?

 

DEMON
(a dual voice, a deep and severe one with a higher-pitched and soft-spoken one speaking simultaneously)
“Hello”? That’s a new one.

 

CASTOR
Is it? You know, that’s not very polite!

 

DEMON
Aw, he thinks I run in polite company! How cute.

 

CASTOR
What should I call you?

 

DEMON
What do you want to call me?

 

CASTOR
(uncertain)
Uh… Maybe an epithet will do? How about… the Gray One?

 

DEMON
(bored)
Oh, classic. I’m flattered. And you’ll be… Castor?

 

CASTOR
Y… Yes. How did you know?

 

DEMON
Well, you just told me, didn’t you?

 

CASTOR
Oh. Uhm… I guess?

 

DEMON
Now, at the risk of leaning into a stereotype: why have you summoned me, mortal?

 

CASTOR
Well…
(nervous chuckle)
Actually, I was hoping to ask you a few questions…?

 

DEMON
Questions?

 

CASTOR
I’m a demonologist. I research your kind and the ways your influence affects things here, on the material plane.

 

DEMON
A demonologist. Been a while since I’ve had one of you. It’s just information you want?

 

CASTOR
Yes. Mmm…

 

Pages turning.

 

CASTOR
(continued)
Let’s see. I have a list of questions here…

 

DEMON
Hold on now, demonologist. Nothing comes for free. What are you offering?

 

CASTOR
Oh! Ah… What do you want?

 

DEMON
(laughs mockingly)
For all of your book learning, no one ever told you not to ask that question of a demon? Now I have all the leverage.

 

CASTOR
Well… not necessarily. I could still say no, depending on what you say you want.

 

DEMON
Hard to argue with. I like it.
(hums)
Unfortunately, it does put a bit of a stall on this deal.

 

CASTOR
Why is that?

 

DEMON
Because, Castor, what I want, you’re not nearly desperate enough to give.

 

CASTOR
You’re… not willing to accept something… less?

 

DEMON
I prefer only the best, and I know this must be hard for your tiny, temporally-fixed brain to understand, but I am actually rather busy.

 

CASTOR
(thoughtfully)
And… now that I’ve summoned you…
(resigned)
I’m going to have a lot of trouble summoning someone else.

 

DEMON
You are a demonologist. Well done.

 

A pause.

 

DEMON
I’m waiting.

 

CASTOR
I… I’m not willing to give up everything for an interview. I’m… sorry.

 

DEMON
Oh, well. Perhaps I can offer you something more… tempting. Have you ever wanted to learn magic? You seem… like the type.

 

CASTOR
You’re offering me a… a warlock pact?

 

DEMON
In exchange for just one trifle.

 

CASTOR
(hums)
It would be an incredible research opportunity.

 

DEMON
It certainly would.

 

CASTOR
But… But… y-you have to understand that… what’s a trifle to you is… well, an awful lot to me.

 

DEMON
(sigh)
(pleased)
I love a man that can drive a hard bargain. Unless there is nothing that you want enough to trade your soul for, in which case, our business today might be over.

 

CASTOR
Well!
(fumbles)
You…! You can’t leave until I unsummon you!

 

DEMON
No, but I can make myself very annoying. Like I said, I’m busy.
(pause)
Come on now, Castor. There’s nothing in your life you’d like a little bit more control over? Nothing you want to make sure is secure?

 

A pause.

 

DEMON
Ah, there is something.

 

CASTOR
(unsettled)
This… isn’t why I asked you here.

 

DEMON
(irritated)
Point of order, you didn’t ask.

 

CASTOR
I just want answers to a few questions.

 

DEMON
I don’t see why we can’t include that in the deal.

 

CASTOR
Really?

 

DEMON
You act as if things are a cost to me. They’re easy. Trifles for trifles. I’ll even throw in some magic if you’d like.

 

CASTOR
(a bit more confidently)
Let’s talk.

 

DEMON
(smug)
Let’s.

 

Background noise fades out.

 

Chalk scraping against a hard surface.

Door creaks open.

 

POLLUX
Castor!

 

Chalk stops.

 

CASTOR
(yelps)
Oh my—!
(annoyed)
Oh my gods!

 

POLLUX
(laughs)
You were so scared!

 

CASTOR
(sigh)
Yeah, sorry. How was work?

 

POLLUX
Who cares!
(excitedly)
How was summoning a demon?

 

CASTOR
Oh! Uh…
(pause)
It… didn’t work.

 

POLLUX
(softer)
Oh. Really?

 

CASTOR
Yeah… I…
(sigh)
I think I probably pronounced the Infernal wrong, or maybe the summoning circle was… off.

 

POLLUX
I’m sorry, man. You gonna to try again?

 

CASTOR
(uncertain)
Yeah, maybe.
(quietly)
Maybe.

 

Background noise fades out.

 

Soft thumping as Castor paces around the room.

 

CASTOR
(distressed grumbles)

 

Steps stop.

 

CASTOR
(groans)
Gray One. You there?

 

Deep, magical rumbling.

 

DEMON
(distorted and staticky, their voice becomes clearer as they speak)
Always for you, Castor.

 

CASTOR
(shudders)
Look, I can’t… I can’t do this anymore.

 

DEMON
Do? Do what?

 

CASTOR
I can’t… I can’t be a warlock! I can’t do magic… I can’t… I can’t have this deal with you!

 

DEMON
(darkly)
Can’t you?

 

CASTOR
Can we… renegotiate?

 

DEMON
(echoing laughter)
(mocking)
Oh, Castor, Castor, Castor. Naïve little Castor.
(with finality)
No. I do not renegotiate deals. This is permanent.

 

CASTOR
But I can’t… I can’t keep lying!

 

DEMON
No one is making you.

 

CASTOR
(sarcastic)
Hah. Sure! Cause my family will love that this year’s only been good because I messed with things that were out of my depth!

 

DEMON
It has been good for them, hasn’t it?

 

CASTOR
They’re fine, now!
Pollux is almost done saving up for his tuition and the shop is thriving and—

 

DEMON
And accidents happen in kitchens too. And goodness me, but this place is falling apart, isn’t it?

 

CASTOR
(firmly)
We can take care of ourselves from here.

 

DEMON
Can you? So the cave-in last week in that mine doesn’t concern you?

 

CASTOR
Cave-in? What cave-in?

 

DEMON
Ah, Pollux didn’t tell you! No doubt he didn’t want you to worry.

 

CASTOR
(worriedly)
He… didn’t…
(fumbles, cuts himself off)
(louder)
This isn’t what I wanted! I just wanted you to answer some questions!

 

DEMON
You really should’ve thought of that before you agreed, Castor!

 

CASTOR
Why won’t you just leave me alone?

 

DEMON
You want me to leave your family alone?

 

CASTOR
No, please, don’t! Just—just me.

 

DEMON
I thought you wanted to research my kind.

 

CASTOR
(sharply)
I’ve learned all I want from you.

 

DEMON
(hums)
(pause)
Well, I’ll hold up my end of things. We need not talk again.
(sourly)
I’ve already got what I want from you.

 

Ominous hum as the demon disappears.

Background noise fades out.

 

Rustling. Castor is packing.

 

POLLUX
I don’t understand!

 

CASTOR
We’ve been over this. I’m just going away to study.

 

POLLUX
Yeah, I don’t understand why!

 

CASTOR
(mutters)
Learned all I can here. I’ve already read and reread every book in the libraries about demons, and the college isn’t ready for further study, so it’s time for me to explore other options.

 

POLLUX
By leaving!

 

Rustling stops.

 

CASTOR
What do you expect me to do, Pollux?

 

POLLUX
(angrily)
I expect a little more than a week’s warning that I’m going to be losing my twin!

 

CASTOR
You’re not losing me! I’m just going away for—

 

POLLUX
For how long?

 

CASTOR
I’m… not sure yet.

 

POLLUX
Castor, what is going on with you? You’ve been acting… so weird and distant!

 

CASTOR
Nothing’s going on!

 

POLLUX
(worriedly)
Let me help you.

 

CASTOR
There’s nothing to be helped!

 

Packing noises resume.

 

CASTOR
(reassuring)
I’m alright, really. You’ll be fine without me.

 

POLLUX
(softly)
I don’t want you to go.

 

Rustling stops.

 

A pause.

 

CASTOR
I’ll write, I promise.

 

POLLUX
You better.

 

Soft rustling. A hug.

 

POLLUX
(small chuckle)
I love you, nerd.

 

CASTOR
I love you too.
(beat)
And who are you calling a nerd? You’ve got more books than I do!

 

POLLUX
About food! Who doesn’t like food?

 

CASTOR
(warmly, fond)
Nobody. I’ll see you soon.

 

 

Background noise fades away.

 

 

 

OUTRO (11:30):

 

Inn Between theme plays in the background.

 

CREDITS (11:31):

 

HANNAH
This bonus episode, “Demonology Practicum”, was written and directed by Hannah Wright with assistant director William Wright. The show is produced and edited by Katherine Ayers.

The voice of Castor is Caleb Del Rio.

This episode featured the voices of our special guests: Tareek Talati as Pollux, and Gary Scales and Liz Morey together as the Gray One.

Our theme song is by Eli Hamada McIlveen and our artwork is by Gabrielle Buxman. Our transcriber is Ria Couoh.

Transcripts for this and every episode can be found on our website, thegoblinshead.com.

Find and follow us on Twitter, @inn_between_. Or support us on patreon, at patreon.com/thegoblinshead.

Keep a weather eye out, adventurers! The Inn will return to you soon.

Thanks for listening!

 

Music ends.

 

Episode ends.

 

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