Our heroes do a little shuffling.
This episode is part of the Apollo Creator Showcase! For the rest of the collection as well as exclusive bonus content, go to apollopods.com/inn.
Transcript is below the cut!
Transcript provided by Ria Couoh.
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(00:00) INTRO:
HANNAH
Hi, everyone! Hannah here.
This special episode of Inn Between is part of the Apollo Podcast App’s Creator Showcase 2022, and there are so many more episodes to discover.
If you want to hear all of the stories in the creator showcase and support the creators that made them, go to www.apollopods.com/inn. That’s apollopods dot com slash i-n-n.
We’ll see you there, on Apollo!
With no further ado, let’s go to the Inn!
Inn Between theme plays in the background.
Inn Between theme fades.
(01:24) HIT THE DECK.
Background sounds of a tavern: conversation, tinkling of glasses and cutlery.
ROSIE
Supplies all gathered; drinks acquired… I’m not missing anything, am I?
ZARA
No, just waiting on the boys and Knowles with the cart and horse.
ROSIE
Great!
ZARA
Now what are we supposed to do?
ROSIE
Relax?
ZARA
Not exactly our strong suit.
ROSIE
Speak for yourself! I’m great at relaxing!
ZARA
I’m not.
ROSIE
Hey, I can help!
ZARA
(dryly)
Can you?
ROSIE
Sure. Let’s play a game!
ZARA
Look, Rosie…
ROSIE
It’ll be fun!
ZARA
(sigh)
What kind of game?
ROSIE
Did you see what I got in Delaroca?
Heavy cloth shuffling.
ZARA
The… mushroom hat?
ROSIE
No! This!
Cards shuffling.
ZARA
(flatly)
An Oracle deck.
ROSIE
Yes! Let me do a reading for you!
ZARA
Oracle readings aren’t a game! It’s a legitimate form of Divination!
ROSIE
You forgot the part about how it’s fun?
ZARA
If you look into the future, you might not like what you find!
ROSIE
Well, not with that attitude!
Cards are shuffled.
ROSIE
Come on, what else do you have to do with your afternoon?
Cards are shuffled.
ZARA
(groans)
Fine.
ROSIE
Yay!
Okay, it came with a little guide that has some sample spreads.
Paper shifts as she turns the pages of a booklet.
ROSIE
So let’s do… uhm… the past-present-future thing? Just three cards.
ZARA
If you must.
ROSIE
Hang on, I have to get into character.
ZARA
That’s not necessary—
ROSIE
(with exaggerated enunciation and excitement)
So, you wish to know your future, young lady!
ZARA
Not really!
ROSIE
Mm, be careful what you wish for!
ZARA
I literally just said that.
ROSIE
(dejected sigh)
Buzzkill. Okay.
Card is set down.
ROSIE
Ooh, what have we here? The Planted Seed!
ZARA
(tired sigh)
Are we going to go there?
ROSIE
(as if reading)
The rich soil of the Planted Seed represents nourishment and nurture, and the seed itself represents potential and growth!
So, the card for your past means that, throughout your childhood, you were given everything you needed to—
ZARA
It’s inverted.
ROSIE
What?
ZARA
It’s upside down, Rosie. It reverses its meaning.
ROSIE
(softer)
Oh. So, uh, so that means…?
ZARA
No nurturing. No… boundless possibilities.
(dully)
Do the next card.
ROSIE
Yeah, okay.
Card is set down.
ROSIE
I am totally stoked for the Stoked Hearth.
ZARA
Wow, really?
ROSIE
Yes, really.
I like this one! Safety and home and warmth… and that’s the card for the present! So, right now… Aw, Zara, that’s so nice!
ZARA
Watch, the future is going to be something terrible.
ROSIE
(cheerfully)
Bet it won’t!
Card is set down.
ROSIE
Hah! I win! It’s a good one!
ZARA
The… Garden?
ROSIE
The Verdant Garden. Which, of course, means community, cooperation, and plenty, and all of that is in your future…
And I win!
ZARA
You can’t win at Divination.
ROSIE
Mm, pretty sure I just did!
ZARA
Also, there’s no way that’s right.
ROSIE
Ugh, you are such a pessimist!
ZARA
No, it’s like… the combination of the Seed and the Garden.
ROSIE
What about it?
ZARA
(unsure, as if trying to remember)
It… means I need to plant something? That I… owe something to make the Garden happen?
(to herself)
What?
ROSIE
It does? How do you know?
ZARA
I went to wizard college, remember?
ROSIE
They teach you how to read an Oracle Deck?
ZARA
I told you! It’s a legitimate form of Divination!
ROSIE
Just… based on how resistant you’ve been to it; I wouldn’t have thought it was up your alley.
ZARA
(through sarcastic laughter)
Because I’m well-known for how cooperative and unresistant I am.
Besides, you were never forced to take classes on a subject you had no actual interest in?
ROSIE
Fair enough. And I guess it’s good it’s not bogus because now I get to do my final interpretation.
ZARA
No.
ROSIE
What do you mean no?
ZARA
I’m tired of this reading, I already know what it means, this wasn’t fun.
Door creaks open.
ROSIE
Fine. I’ll do someone else then, like…
Oh, Knowles is back! Knowles!
KNOWLES
(tiredly)
Hi.
Chair squeaks against wooden floor.
ZARA
I thought you were helping choose a cart and horse.
KNOWLES
I did my bit! I… chose the cart. It’s not my fault that Tode has to stop and talk to every single horse before he chooses one… among other animals.
ROSIE
I thought you were going to a hostler.
KNOWLES
Turns out, dwarves are very creative with what they consider a mount.
ROSIE
Really? I know for part of the Egg Sack Festival performers would ride in on massive orb weavers, but I always figured it was a… ceremonial thing.
ZARA
(outraged disbelief)
Excuse me?
KNOWLES
For the sake of what’s… left of my sanity, I’m going to pretend that entire sentence didn’t just happen.
Let’s just say it… wasn’t my department, so I tapped out.
ZARA
Are they going to be much longer?
KNOWLES
As much as I would like to know, I have no idea.
ZARA
Then maybe I can provide some insight!
Cards are shuffled.
KNOWLES
(interested)
Is that an Oracle Deck?
ROSIE
It sure is!
KNOWLES
Fun! I’m always up for a reading!
ROSIE
Great!
(muttering)
Okay, uhm… Well, I guess the past-present-future thing wouldn’t work as well if you want insight into the horse and cart situation…
KNOWLES
Aren’t there other kinds of readings?
ROSIE
What about like… uhm…?
Pages turn.
ROSIE
Oh! A card for the situation and a card for each of the participants. That’s a… thing, right?
ZARA
Why are you looking at me?
ROSIE
Is it a thing?
ZARA
(annoyed)
Yes, it’s a thing. Leave me out of it.
ROSIE
Okay, cool!
(clears throat)
Who should we start with?
KNOWLES
(excitedly)
Me! Start with me!
ROSIE
Okay! So, this is the card for Knowles…
Draws card.
ROSIE
We have… the Detailed Map. Reversed… Oops.
KNOWLES
Oops? What’s “oops?”
ROSIE
The Map is like… leadership and direction, which would usually be exactly your thing, but…
KNOWLES
It’s reversed… because I gave up the reins?
ROSIE
Was that a pun about horses?
KNOWLES
(innocently)
Maaaybe.
ZARA
(groans)
ROSIE
So, this card makes sense!
KNOWLES
Alright, so tell me something I don’t know. What about Tode?
ROSIE
A card for Tode!
Card is set down.
ROSIE
We have the Wizened Tortoise… Reversed. Uhm…
KNOWLES
That’s two reversals in a row. How did you shuffle this deck?
ROSIE
The normal way!
KNOWLES
(dubious)
Right. Sure.
The Tortoise feels like Tode, but…
ROSIE
Yeah, it’s reversed, so, as opposed to wisdom through experience, it’s… foolishness through youth?
(quietly)
That—that’s not right.
KNOWLES
Are you sure it’s not Castor’s card?
ZARA
There’s another way to interpret it.
ROSIE
Okay? How?
ZARA
Like you just interpreted Knowles.
KNOWLES
(thoughtfully)
So, usually wisdom is his thing, but he gave it up in favor of…?
ROSIE
Whimsy?
ZARA
Yeah, whimsy. Childlike wonder.
KNOWLES
Now that sounds like Tode, especially where animals are concerned.
(beat)
(dreadful)
I don’t like where this is going. What about Castor?
Short shuffling noise. Card is drawn.
ROSIE
For Castor…
Oh! Good news! It’s the Raptor’s Eye, attention to detail and eagle-eyed focus.
KNOWLES
(chuckles)
At least one of us is being sensible.
ZARA
(dubious)
Eh…
KNOWLES
What?
ZARA
Nothing.
ROSIE
You can’t just make a “ehhh” noise and say it’s nothing.
KNOWLES
Spill!
ZARA
(sigh)
(slowly)
Look, the Raptor’s Eye does mean focus, but the dark side of that is focus to the exclusion of the big picture. “Can’t see the forest for the trees,” kind of thing.
ROSIE
Oh, that’s definitely Castor. How do you know it’s that interpretation?
ZARA
Well, I don’t know for sure until you draw the last card.
KNOWLES
What are you waiting for?
ROSIE
Okay! The card for the situation as a whole! Here we go…
Card is drawn.
ROSIE
It’s the… Two-Headed Calf.
KNOWLES
Uhm… Is that… good?
ZARA
Hah.
ROSIE
It’s not bad, per se, it’s just like…
(with forced cheer)
A surprise! The unexpected!
ZARA
The absurd. Sometimes the unnatural.
KNOWLES
Unnatural is right. Statistically, two-headed anything doesn’t happen unless something’s gone very wrong.
ROSIE
Wrong like what? Arcane Pollution or something?
ZARA
Or mundane pollution.
KNOWLES
That’s a thing?
ZARA
People are very good at screwing over the rest of nature.
KNOWLES
(nervously)
Ugh,
I don’t like this at all. What does it mean for… us?
ROSIE
We don’t know that the surprise will be a bad thing!
ZARA
(exhausted)
There’s no way they’re bringing back a horse.
KNOWLES
What are they bringing back?
ZARA
Cards aren’t that specific.
ROSIE
But they’re specific enough to tell you that you need to plant a garden?
KNOWLES
What is she talking about?
ROSIE
Zara’s reading gave her The Planted Seed and the Verdant Garden, and apparently that combo means that she… owes something in order to get some kind of future that’s good?
KNOWLES
Huh.
ZARA
It isn’t exactly what it meant.
ROSIE
But it does mean that… I’m amazing at Oracle readings! Especially for someone who never went to wizard college.
KNOWLES
Hey, maybe you’ve got some hidden magical talent after all!
ROSIE
Ooh, maybe! If nothing else, I might’ve just found a new grift.
ZARA
Absolutely not. There are already too many idiots out there using cartomancy as their hustle, I’m not about to let my friend be one of them. Besides, you’re not that great at it if I can’t figure out what the seed planting thing meant.
KNOWLES
Oh, I know what it is.
ROSIE
(exaggerated offense)
How dare you doubt my mighty power?
ZARA
Wait, back up. Knowles?
KNOWLES
I kind of want you to do another one.
ROSIE
I totally want to do another one.
ZARA
Knowles!
KNOWLES
You really don’t remember?
ZARA
Remember what?
ROSIE
Okay, the card for the past is…
Card is drawn.
ROSIE
The Wealth of Shells.
KNOWLES
Which clearly means… a fun day at the beach?
ROSIE
(quietly, a little uncertain)
Shells used to be used for currency… This card means riches and privilege… especially old money.
ZARA
Who are you reading for?
ROSIE
I don’t know! I’m… mostly going for the vibe. Hey, maybe it’s me!
ZARA
Knowles, tell me what I’m forgetting.
KNOWLES
But this is so much more fun.
Card is drawn.
ROSIE
For the present… the Wolf Pack, reversed. Hm.
ZARA
Can you at least tell me if it’s important?
KNOWLES
(amused, smug)
Arguably, it’s the most important.
ZARA
(dismayed)
Oh my gods.
ROSIE
So… the wolves mean power and strength in numbers, but if it’s reversed… maybe trying to be a lone wolf?
KNOWLES
(almost laughing)
You really have no idea what I’m talking about.
ZARA
No!
ROSIE
Or maybe it’s strength… corrupted by hierarchy? Like tyranny? Which ironically means less power.
KNOWLES
You don’t remember our bet.
ZARA
What bet?
ROSIE
(worriedly)
I don’t think this reading is for me.
KNOWLES
Stew on it for a second.
ZARA
Wait, that’s what you’re talking about?
ROSIE
And for the future…
Card is drawn.
ROSIE
Oh… The Planted Seed again.
A small pause.
ZARA
Who is this reading for?
KNOWLES
What does that mean?
ROSIE
It’s like…
(contemplative)
Whoever this is has everything they ever wanted, and they use it to control other people, but soon something will happen to them that… I don’t know, sets them up for growth?
ZARA
That’s a… good interpretation.
ROSIE
I told you! I’m great at this!
KNOWLES
Who is this?
ROSIE
No idea.
Door creaks open.
Muted croaking. Heavy, thudding footsteps.
CASTOR
That’s what I mean! Alchemical ingredients like this don’t just fall out of the sky every day!
TODE
She says she’s willing to trade some skin slime for whole fishes.
KNOWLES
(shocked fumbling)
Uhm… I’m… Is that…?
ROSIE
Leaping Lolth.
ZARA
You’ve got to be kidding me.
Croaking.
TODE
Yes, these are our friends.
(warmly)
Friends, I’m pleased to introduce you to She-Who-Has-Gobbled-The-Most-Bugs-In-The-Bog. You may call her Gob.
She’ll be our beast of burden for the trip.
KNOWLES
(high-pitched with horror)
Gi—Giant frog?!
CASTOR
I mean, that’s kind of rude. What if I pointed at you and shouted…?
(fake, exaggerated horror)
Human person?
ROSIE
I love her. This is the best possible surprise I could have asked for!
(cooing)
Hi, Gob! I’m Rosie!
ZARA
(delighted)
You people are insane.
Croaking.
TODE
There’s no call to be rude. She can understand you.
CASTOR
Gob is intelligent and interesting and full of scientific discoveries!
ROSIE
And she’s beautiful!
Croaking.
TODE
She appreciates you saying so.
KNOWLES
(increasingly alarmed)
We—we can’t… have a frog-drawn cart! We can’t!
TODE
We thought you might react like this.
CASTOR
(steadily, as if practiced)
Look, Knowles, we know you don’t like animals.
TODE
(understanding, mimicking Castor’s tone, as if they’ve practiced together)
Gob will take some getting used to, and we understand that.
CASTOR
But she’s going to be a valuable asset to the crew, and we already like her.
TODE
It would be rude to turn her away now!
CASTOR
Just look at her! Look at that face!
TODE
Look at that face!
Croaking.
Long pause.
KNOWLES
(defeated)
Please, for just a second, think about how frogs ambulate.
CASTOR
By… jumping?
KNOWLES
And what might happen to a cart if it is hitched to a creature that is jumping?
A pause.
CASTOR
(beat)
(with dawning realization)
Oooh…
TODE
Oh dear.
ROSIE
That would be a… pretty bumpy ride, I guess.
KNOWLES
If it worked at all!
(sigh)
Look, if Gob wants to come with us, she can—
ROSIE
Okay, good, because I love her now, and we’re best friends, and I couldn’t take it if we had to get rid of her.
CASTOR
Can’t just get rid of your friends!
(quickly)
Also, the hostler said no refunds.
KNOWLES
I’m not a monster! I’m sure… Gob and I…
(unsure)
Will… be… close chums… once I… get to know her.
Croaking.
TODE
(good-naturedly)
She says she likes the look of you!
KNOWLES
(scared)
Like in a food way or…?
CASTOR
Oh, speaking of food, I’m starved!
TODE
Yes, why don’t we have some lunch?
Chairs squeak against wood floors, heavy thud.
KNOWLES
As long as you get an actual horse afterwards. Someone’s got to pull the cart we just bought.
CASTOR
Of course.
ZARA
Hey, Knowles.
Coin clatters.
ZARA
Here.
KNOWLES
Pleasure doing business with you.
TODE
What’s this?
ZARA
Knowles bet me that Rosie and I would be friends by the end of the summer.
CASTOR
Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.
ROSIE
(offended)
You bet on my love?
KNOWLES
In a manner of speaking.
ROSIE
(smug)
And I won?
KNOWLES
I mean, I won, but, in a way… so did we all!
ZARA
Ugh… so cheesy.
CASTOR
It’s true, though!
TODE
I hope you like it with us, Gob!
Croaking.
CASTOR
Hey, is that an Oracle Deck?
ROSIE
Yeah! You want a reading? I’m phenomenal at it, even Zara thinks so!
ZARA
I never—
TODE
What’s an Oracle Deck?
ROSIE
(excitedly)
Step into my office!
Background sounds of tavern fade away.
(18:19) OUTRO:
Inn Between theme plays in the background.
(18:24) CREDITS:
HANNAH
This episode, “Hit the Deck”, was created with the support of Apollo. Download the Apollo podcast app for all the best fiction podcasts have to offer.
“Hit the Deck” was written by Hannah Wright with cowriter Lucille Valentine and directed by Hannah Wright with assistant director William Wright. The show is produced and edited by Katherine Ayers.
Arcane consulting by Lucille Valentine.
The voice of Castor is Caleb Del Rio. The voice of Zara is Quin Leigh. The voice of Tode is Anthony Morales. The voice of Rosie is Lucille Valentine and the voice of Knowles is JV Hampton-VanSant.
Our theme song is by Eli Hamada McIlveen and our artwork is by Gabrielle Buxman. Our transcriber is Ria Couoh.
Transcripts for this and every episode can be found on our website, thegoblinshead.com.
Find and follow us on Twitter, @inn_between_. Or support us on Patreon, at patreon.com/thegoblinshead.
If you like the show, predict a character arc of season five using your own tarot deck. Or leave us a review.
We’ll see you soon!
Music ends.
HANNAH
This episode was written in the traditional territory of the Arapaho, Cheyenne, and Ute peoples, as well as the traditional lands of the Timucua people and the Seminole tribe. The episode was edited in the unceded territory of the Salish, Kootenai, and Kalispel peoples.
(19:54) POST-CREDITS:
HANNAH
Hi, everyone! Hannah again.
I really hope you enjoyed this special bonus episode, which we could not have made without the help of the good folks at Apollo. We’re only one of the scads of creators featured in the Apollo Creator Showcase! You have to check out everyone else’s work. Go to apollopods.com/inn to see all the magnificent audio drama the showcase has to offer.
We’ll see you on Apollo!
EPISODE ENDS.