At long last, our Q&A episode!
Transcript is below the cut!
Transcript provided by Ria Couoh.
**************
(00:00:00) INTRO:
HANNAH
Hi, everyone! Hannah, here. You having a good hiatus?
This is our Question-and-Answer episode! Thank you all so much for submitting your questions. We’ll probably do this again, it was fun!
Be advised: this episode does contain some swears.
Let’s get started!
Upbeat music plays in the background.
HANNAH
So, I’m Hannah! She/her! I am the writer and the director, but you probably knew that! Will!
WILLIAM
William Wright, he/him! Official, you know, I like to call myself “assistant director” but, really, I’m just kind of a gopher. If you’re not familiar with what the term means, it’s the go-for-coffee, go-for-computer-charger-cord, go-for-etcetera. Anyway…
HANNAH
Go-for-moral-support…
WILLIAM
I’m also—I’m also the Riddle Goblin!
HANNAH
(laughing)
I forgot about that!
Uh, Arrianna…
WILLIAM
(in a pitched, scratchy, comedic voice)
How could you forget the Riddle Goblin?
HANNAH
(snorts)
(beat)
Arrianna!
ARRIANNA
Hi! My name is Arrianna Abraham, pronouns she/her. I am your Goddess of Luck!
RIA
Yay…
HANNAH
Yay!
WILLIAM
Ha-ha!
ARRIANNA
(softly)
Yeaaah!
HANNAH
Lucy!
ARRIANNA
(snorts)
We’ll see…
LUCILLE
I’m Lucille Valentine, AKA Lucy, I’m the voice of Rosie, and also… I don’t… Can…?
HANNAH
No, you can tell! It’s okay!
LUCILLE
Okay, okay!
HANNAH
It’s a surprise for the audience!
LUCILLE
Yeah. Hannah and I co-wrote… slash I consulted on the… one of the many episodes for in between seasons!
HANNAH
I believe at this point it will be out! It is called Hit the Deck and… it’s good. Listen to it!
LUCILLE
It’s fun! I got to… really mess around with it.
(laughs)
HANNAH
(chuckles)
Caleb!
CALEB
Oh, hi. I’m… Caleb del Rio. Pronouns are he/him, I voice Castor, and I should not be here.
HANNAH
(laughs)
You jumped in because you live with Lucy!
CALEB
Yes.
LUCILLE
True!
HANNAH
Kalen!
KALEN
Hi, I’m Kalen Grinell. I’m he/him and I voice Reevis and Traver in a couple episodes. And I also voice a guard and Townie.
WILLIAM
Let’s not forget Townie!
HANNAH
We can’t forget Townie.
KALEN
Yes, saving my best for last.
LUCILLE
(dreamily)
My favorite character!
Laughter.
HANNAH
Ria!
RIA
Oh! Hello! I’m Ria, she/her and ae/aem. I am the transcriber for Inn Between, so I will be transcribing all of this… later.
HANNAH
(laughs)
RIA
And I also voice Vira in the… Knowles introduction episode.
HANNAH
Yay.
RIA
Yes.
(giggles)
HANNAH
Malcolm!
MALCOLM
Hello, I am Malcolm Jay, he/him, they/them, and I voice Max who is also (indistinguishable).
HANNAH
And Austin!
AUSTIN
Hello, my name is Austin Mowat, he/him/his, and I am… anxious, anxious boy: Meltyre.
WILLIAM
(laughs)
HANNAH
The most anxious.
WILLIAM
America’s favorite anxious boy!
HANNAH
We will have someone else joining us later…
(excitedly)
But I’m going to keep that a surprise for you!
William, do you have the questions?
WILLIAM
(in the Riddle Goblin voice)
I do have the questions!
HANNAH
Fantastic! Why don’t you ask your first question?
WILLIAM
Oh, man, this is dope as heck! Alright…
From Kate and Tali:
“How long does it take to a) write then b) record one episode in general?”
HANNAH
I’ll start with the first bit and then y’all can elaborate if you’d like.
The amount of time it takes to write an episode varies wildly. Some of them I can kind of jot down in a half an hour because they just happen in my brain. And others I have to… take three weeks and go for walks and contemplate the universe.
I’ve been trying to write episode three of season five for… two or three months now. I don’t know how long it’ll take! It’s… It’s a mystery!
WILLIAM
As far as recording, would you guys like to chip in on that one?
I mean, I know a while. I can tell you that one!
HANNAH
(laughs)
AUSTIN
Uh…
WILLIAM
Yeah, Austin’s feeling it!
AUSTIN
Well…
WILLIAM
Come on, Austin! Lay it—
AUSTIN
Well, I can… Well, I can say, I mean… If you’ve listened to any of the bloopers from like season one and season two, like, imagine at least a hundred and fifty person more… just random stuff happening.
A lot of it varying degrees of either unproductive or unfunny to actually put into a blooper reel.
A text message alert goes off.
AUSTIN
But, I mean, yeah, it was, it was like… it was a couple… I mean, actually recording sitting down, because for season one and two we… we were all in one room, which is incredible thinking back now, seeing how everything has happened in the world. Sitting the whole cast in a single room, we would all be dead if that had happened now!
HANNAH
Bothering the librarians.
AUSTIN
Yes. They… Oh, well.
HANNAH
(snorts)
AUSTIN
Now, recording was… It was… It was just… It took a while but even though a hundred—a good half of it was unproductive or just like us trying to be funny and… flopping.
I mean, it doesn’t matter how long it was because it was just… It was just so much fun to just be vibing off of everybody in one space. No social distancing. No worries that we’re going to be locked in our houses in… a couple years from now.
HANNAH
(laughs softly)
WILLIAM
Austin, I just love your answer of: “it doesn’t really matter”. I wish every question could be answered like that!
Laughter.
WILLIAM
But as Kate and Tali want the brass tacks: we typically knock things out in like, you know, anywhere from like a three to four-hour chunk. As far as how much each individual section was, it varied depending on how hard the episode was. I know, Hannah…
HANNAH
And, generally, I budget like an hour of time for each episode.
WILLIAM
Yeah, Hannah—
HANNAH
Weirdly, it doesn’t take any more time, like, over Zoom or in person. It’s about the same either way.
WILLIAM
What was the name –and I’m terrible at episode names— but the episode where they all, you know, swap bodies? Hannah, what’s the…?
HANNAH
That would The Swap.
RIA
(simultaneously)
Swap?
WILLIAM
(simultaneously)
The Swap?
AUSTIN
(simultaneously)
That would be The Swap.
RIA
(simultaneously)
The Swap.
WILLIAM
I should have known. It’s always very obv—Hannah, you are so on point with your episode titles.
HANNAH
(laughs)
WILLIAM
That one I know was a little bit more… more of a challenge, because there was a lot of: “wait a second, is that my line or your line?” And “wait, who’s talking right now?” And a lot of: “reel that back in, try that again.”
HANNAH
The notation was bad. I will admit this. Freely.
WILLIAM
Oh, it was a pasta mess right there, but it was a blast!
KALEN
I was going to say, I’m really glad I was able to be there… be there to witness the recording of that episode.
HANNAH
Didn’t you…? Weren’t you reading for Austin since Austin couldn’t be there or something? That sounds right.
AUSTIN
No, I was… I was there! I might have been late, but I was there!
Laughter.
HANNAH
You were reading for somebody.
KALEN
I—I was reading for someone! I think I was, uh… maybe reading for Kaleigh?
HANNAH
Possibly. We’ll say yes.
Chuckling.
ARRIANNA
That’s how history is written.
(through laughter)
Just say yes.
AUSTIN
Mhm.
HANNAH
This question is from Anne, and I’d love it from each of your perspectives, if possible: “How did you all meet?”
LUCILLE
Meet?
RIA
Well…
KALEN
Funny thing about that.
LUCILLE
Well, he was so…
ARRIANNA
How romantic.
LUCILLE
It was very romantic. We met at a podcast convention.
Everyone laughing.
ARRIANNA
Ooh…
LUCILLE
And, anyway, now it’s like three years later and we’re married so…
CALEB
Fireworks.
ARRIANNA
Oh my god.
LUCILLE
It went okay, I guess.
ARRIANNA
Sort of! Beautiful.
HANNAH
I think that they probably meant in the context of this show, but I’m keeping that, so.
Everyone laughs.
WILLIAM
I mean if we’re just talking everyone, I knew Hannah as soon as I was capable of sentient thought.
HANNAH
(laughs)
KALEN
I met… I met Austin through school, and then found out he was part of this podcast.
HANNAH
Yes, if I recall correctly, you were the only one to audition in person, uh, for season two.
KALEN
Mm.
WILLIAM
I do remember, I met Kalen first… I think I met you first through Kai, the fellowship on campus, and then I ran into you later at auditions.
KALEN
Yeah.
HANNAH
Austin, what was the process like for you? Because I kind of just sent out an email on the… drama department newsletter and… prayed.
ARRIANNA
(chuckles)
AUSTIN
Yeah! It was… I mean, I saw it on the email, I’m like… “That’s… that’s cool!”
Because I was, like, I was… I forget if it was, like, my freshman or my sophomore year, but I was like… that’s cool. I’m still trying to figure myself out. What do I want to do?
(clicks tongue)
This sounds… awesome.
And then I… emailed? I forget what I had to do for that… I forget if there was an audition process or not.
HANNAH
There was!
(through laughter)
But only five people auditioned, so… I just cast you all!
WILLIAM
(laughs)
AUSTIN
I mean… yeah. I mean, I remember like… cool!
(dramatic voice)
We are going to meet in this tiny room in the Music Building.
And then that… just… “Yeah, go through… go through a couple voices. Go through a couple voices—Not that, that’s… no… Sorry.”
And then we just eventually landed on… Well, I eventually landed on, well, what is… what is now Meltyre. Although…
(clicks tongue)
Maybe a worse version of it? It’s been so long that I don’t remember. But I’m sure it was nowhere near as good as it was by the time we actually got really working into it.
HANNAH
Uh, your voice did change a little bit, but not in a significant way. I mean, you were still recognizable all throughout.
(gleeful)
Hey, Ria, how did we meet?
RIA
(laughs)
Well, it’s the funniest thing! Well, everyone…
Well, we met through Tumblr. Technically.
(laughs)
Kind of.
HANNAH
Yeah!
RIA
Social media networking, it does work!
Scattered laughter.
RIA
Yeah, and then… I think it was… I don’t remember who it was that sent me the link when the server went live for… for Inn Between, the Discord server.
And, on a whim, I decided to join. Normally, I wouldn’t because… anxiety. But I did. And look at me now! I have a job! With the podcast!
Wow!
AUSTIN
Wow…
ARRIANNA
Yes. Yes, queen.
RIA
Yeah.
HANNAH
Go ahead, Will, ask another question.
WILLIAM
Oh, another question. Let’s see… From Anne… Ooh, very good! “What was everyone’s favorite episode?”
AUSTIN
Oh, man…
RIA
Checks the list.
WILLIAM
I’m already… I’m already sitting on rockets right here. I’m so excited to say mine, but I don’t want to jump on all the questions.
LUCILLE
Our favorite episode to act out…? Or like…
Because, like, I know what my favorite line was, and that was the line about…
(laughs)
Rosie’s freaking boots!
HANNAH
(giggles)
LUCILLE
The best thing I’ve ever been paid to say on a microphone!
HANNAH
The, uh… waterproof, stink-proof, acid-proof, uh, sneaky, slipper…
LUCILLE
The custom leather boots!
Yeah, I also really liked any episode where I had an excuse to speak Drow because I’d never acted out a different language before, let alone a conlang and so that was just a lot of fun! That’s my… That’s my answer!
ARRIANNA
I think my favorite episode has to be…
(sigh)
It’s going to sound so fanfic-y, but… It’s the… the potion one?
LUCILLE
Ah, yes!
ARRIANNA
Yeah, it’s just like…
(laughs heartily)
It has to be The Potion one! Mostly because everyone just… I don’t know, they bring their… They just bring the type of energy you would hope to the episode, and Tode’s voice actor just brings all of the: “Yes, we can all kiss!” And “yes, we can all do this!”
(laughing)
It’s just like… Amazing, a funny episode!
And my favorite episode to act in…? It has to be the… The Redux? The Luck Redux episode, I think?
RIA
Mm.
ARRIANNA
Because that’s where Sadiyah –I play Sadiyah— is at her most, uhm…
LUCILLE
Girlboss?
ARRIANNA
(delighted)
Yeah! I guess that’s the… That’s the term! At her most… just… there, like, she’s… She’s giving everyone favors, she’s, you know… she’s just playing the game!
(faux innocent, lightly)
And she just wants a favor, and, oh, she’s just a barmaid, totally!
No bad news here!
(snorts)
So… I always like those types of gods, you know?
AUSTIN
I’ve got a couple… episodes that are my favorite.
I just, I really just… really moments when, like, just… really tiny, tiny people, whether in stature or power or confidence, just find a little bit something in them, and they just, for this tiny sliver of… this tiny sliver in time, they’re just… being badass, and then after… after they realize and have time to think about their actions just…
Right back to being super anxious about themselves. And absolutely not confident. So, like, I think…
LUCILLE
Don’t you love it when a character just snaps?
AUSTIN
Yes! Every time Meltyre is… sick of it… sick of this shit is my favorite! So, I think in like… I think of The Fey and whichever… whenever I threaten Sterling with a ball of acid… that’s always fun.
But favorite episode in general? I really liked our crossover episode with Beacon, that was just really fun to record…
RIA
Yes!
AUSTIN
And also listen to and act and all that.
HANNAH
Uh… guess who’s here?
RILEY
Hello!
RIA
(gasp)
AUSTIN
Hello!
ARRIANNA
Hello!
WILLIAM
How are you?
RIA
Hi!
HANNAH
Won’t you introduce yourself and the pronouns and the role?
RILEY
Uh, yes, hi. Riley, she/her, uhm… yeah. I think that’s about it.
HANNAH
You’re Fina!
RILEY
Oh, yeah. Right. Oh! Sorry, the most important bit of doing this all!
Everyone laughs.
RILEY
The… the important bit, right!
(laughs)
HANNAH
We’re talking about our favorite episodes, and Malcolm looked like possibly they had one!
MALCOLM
Yeah! I was going to say The Sleep. It was my favorite to act in.
HANNAH
Mm.
WILLIAM
Mm!
MALCOLM
But, uhm… because everyone… I feel like, well, during the recording we fell into a nice group, I think. And then, just everyone was really kind of nicely snarky. The… the moment where everyone was… sleeping was the hardest one for me not start laughing because of all the sleeping noises…
Giggling.
MALCOLM
So, yeah, that was great. So… That was my… That was my favorite one.
HANNAH
Lovely!
(claps)
Who next?
KALEN
I… My favorite episode would probably be The Swap because it’s…
When I first read it, when I got the script, it just seemed like such a great… I just could tell it was going to be such an amazing episode, and then I got to be there when it was recording, and it was so entertaining.
HANNAH
Do y’all want to know who gave me the idea for The Swap?
AUSTIN
(unintelligible)
HANNAH
It was Riley!
RILEY
Yeah!
AUSTIN
Oh, I… you know? That tracks.
WILLIAM
(unintelligible)
HANNAH
I believe it was… We were recording season one and you’d said something about… a game you were DM’ing, you were making your characters do a body-swap episode where they all switched character sheets.
RILEY
(the pause of someone who maybe does not remember this)
Uh, yes.
LUCILLE
Fun and stressful.
RILEY
(laughs)
AUSTIN
Mhm.
HANNAH
Did we get everyone? Ria!
RIA
Oh, man! Favorite episode? That’s such a hard question!
(laughs)
I think… probably for the… maybe The Runner?
HANNAH
Ooh…
RIA
Like… very… in season one? That was the episode that I was like, “Oh my gosh! This is a really, really good episode, it’s a really good story.”
And then from the recent seasons… I really like The… Twin? Is that… is that the one? Yeah. I just really like how the information got revealed like, oh, well, turns out! All of these guys? They have twins!
HANNAH
(laughs)
RIA
And… was that Cybilene’s introduction?
HANNAH
Yes! Yes, it was.
RIA
Yeah, that was also very fun to transcribe for me. It was just very fun to hear. Any episode where I get a very strong emotional performance is really fun because I get to google a lot of synonyms for the word “sad” or “angry”.
HANNAH
(laughs)
ARRIANNA
Synonyms, they’re so funny.
HANNAH
Riley, do you have a favorite episode?
RILEY
I mean, I feel like everyone said The Swap epis… A lot of people said The Swap episode. I think that one is tied, honestly, with the one where we’re toting around our dear friend’s dead body in a rug.
Laughter.
RILEY
That was… that was a fun one!
LUCILLE
Casual…
HANNAH
You mean necromancy in the house?
RILEY
Yeah, don’t worry about it!
HANNAH
(laughs)
CALEB
My favorite in general was The Festival because we got a lot of emotional honesty from Zara which is very rare. But my favorite to act in was the… shoot, I forgot what the title was. It was the one where the demon revealed himself pretty much.
HANNAH
(excitedly)
Ooh! YES!
RIA
The Possession?
WILLIAM
Yes!
CALEB
I enjoyed that one.
AUSTIN
Mhm.
HANNAH
What was great was… we recorded that before I recorded with the two people who were playing the demon in the actual… like, in the bonus episode? So, I just sent them that chunk of audio and said, “This is the vibe!”
CALEB
(laughs)
RIA
Yeah, they both did good…
CALEB
I did not know that. That’s very good.
WILLIAM
That came together so beautifully. Gave me chills hearing them for the first time.
RIA
It was… it was very potent. It was… it was amazing.
HANNAH
Okay, so, from Kate, for each of you as people: “What D&D class would you be?”
WILLIAM
Barbarian!
HANNAH
I don’t feel like that’s true!
RIA
(laughs)
WILLIAM
Here, let me sit on mine for a second.
HANNAH
Okay.
RILEY
(laughs)
I mean, I’ll go for… I’ll go for mine. I’d be a druid, I think. Both a… A little bit… a little bit of tank, little bit of heal, little bit of damage. I’ll just deal a little bit of everything!
HANNAH
Ooh!
RILEY
Plus, I work at the zoo now, so now it’s a… fun.
WILLIAM
Oh, heck yeah!
AUSTIN
Ah…
RIA
Aw!
AUSTIN
Mm.
HANNAH
Living your best zoo life! I want to hear all about that when we’re done here.
RILEY
Sure, yeah.
LUCILLE
So, are we doing like…?
WILLIAM
Just… what you feel! What do you feel, Lucy? What’s your class?
LUCILLE
My issue with questions like this is like… there are the things that I would like to be and there are the things that I know would be!
ARRIANNA
Yeah, yeah, yeah…
HANNAH
I would love to know both!
(laughs)
LUCILLE
I think I would probably end up being a rogue of some kind because I love the chaos and I just love any excuse to contort myself or climb over things.
(dissolves into laughter)
But I also got a new job… I got a new job where part of my job is messing with and fixing up old furniture that’s been damaged and I actually really like it, so maybe a little bit of artificer? I don’t know!
HANNAH
Ooh!
AUSTIN
Mm!
ARRIANNA
I feel like I would want to be a warlock or something very chaotic but life would just hand me something… I don’t know, like a monk or a cleric and I would just be like… “Could have made that decision! Should have made that decision… Should have took that!”
LUCILLE
I mean, the good thing about all of those choices is that they all have very strong goth-bod look potential?
ARRIANNA
Yeah!
LUCILLE
Which is the important part of choosing a D&D class?
ARRIANNA
Yeah…
HANNAH
The aesthetic!
ARRIANNA
Yes!
LUCILLE
Yes, exactly, that’s the whole point!
ARRIANNA
But I feel I would have missed out on that like… “Man, I could have made that deal with that demon and now I’m working on a monastery! God damn it!”
KALEN
(laughs)
AUSTIN
(laughs)
LUCILLE
That’s, like, why Castor happened! He’s like, “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this!”
ARRIANNA
“I’m stuck!”
HANNAH
“Too many books!”
ARRIANNA
Yeah!
CALEB
Aw…
MALCOLM
(laughs)
AUSTIN
I have… There’s two, because one is, again, what I would want, the other is what I absolutely am.
What I want would be rogue because, realistically speaking, none of us are going to ever fight somebody in our lives and rogues are just skill monkeys so I’d be good at everything.
But because I think like that, I am a hundred percent a wizard!
WILLIAM
Yes!
ARRIANNA
Nice. So real…
AUSTIN
Because I want to game the system, I’m a wizard!
ARRIANNA
Yeah.
RILEY
Okay. You give… you give off wizard vibes, I think.
HANNAH
It’s true.
AUSTIN
Yes.
(beat)
I would be bad, because I don’t like studying, but…
Laughter.
AUSTIN
I would be a wizard!
RIA
The attempt would be there.
AUSTIN
Yeah.
KALEN
You’re a wizard who can’t make it past level 5.
Laughter.
AUSTIN
Which would suck!
WILLIAM
Whatever, I got Magic Missile, that’s enough!
ARRIANNA
Exactly. I just want a fireball, that’s it.
CALEB
Yeah, I’d be the exact opposite kind of wizard.
ARRIANNA
(laughter)
CALEB
I feel like I… I have recently realized how much I love research and I’m like… Oh nooo…
Laughter.
CALEB
(despairing)
I never saw myself like this before.
ARRIANNA
(laughs)
LUCILLE
He’d be like the geeks’ geek.
CALEB
Yeah…
HANNAH
I like the idea of these two people going to school together, like Wizard School?
CALEB
Oh!
LUCILLE
Slowburn… Like… enemies to friends?
RIA
New short story ideas.
ARRIANNA
Yeah.
HANNAH
I… Well, now I have to write it, so.
ARRIANNA
There you go. New idea.
HANNAH
I can’t believe you’ve done this.
WILLIAM
Alright, who else has a good class? Kalen, what are you feeling?
HANNAH
Mm, that was Caleb!
WILLIAM
Oh, that was Kalen?
CALEB
RIP.
WILLIAM
No, Ka-len.
HANNAH
Oh, Kalen!
KALEN
Uh. It’s going to be confusing the whole time, probably.
RIA
Whoops!
WILLIAM
Don’t mess with me, Hannah! I’m bad enough at remembering names!
KALEN
(laughs)
HANNAH
So sorry!
KALEN
I mean, I think for me… Ideally, I would want to be a bard but I think realistically I’m one of the sidekick classes.
AUSTIN
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
ARRIANNA
Nooo!
LUCILLE
Wait, so…
HANNAH
(distressed)
You mean support classes? Because that’s so mean!
Laughter.
LUCILLE
What do you mean by “sidekick class”? Because I’m trying to figure out how offended I’m supposed to be!
AUSTIN
He’s implying he would be an NPC.
ARRIANNA
Monk. I give you no story…
HANNAH
Austin’s rogue is about to fight someone right now!
AUSTIN
Yeah.
KALEN
In, uh…
WILLIAM
A very chill ranger!
KALEN
In, uhm, I think in Tasha’s, they added Sidekick Classes for NPCs.
General “oooooh” from the call members.
ARRIANNA
Aw…
KALEN
So they’re like…
RIA
Nobody’s offended!
KALEN
They still have thing… features that they can do, but they aren’t as fleshed out as a player character class.
LUCILLE
Okay.
WILLIAM
Alright, I like that one. I do want to hear from our transcriber.
RIA
(panicked)
Here’s where the secret comes out: I don’t play D&D.
HANNAH
(gasp)
WILLIAM
Oh no.
CALEB
Wow.
RILEY
Get out!
WILLIAM
Cut this—cut this clip! The fans can’t know!
ARRIANNA
Oh noo!
KALEN
Ae had no idea this involved playing D&D!
MALCOLM
(laughs)
AUSTIN
Wow.
RIA
No.
LUCILLE
So, I think that…
RIA
You guys are speaking a foreign language.
[TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: Two, actually.]
HANNAH
This means we get to assign you a class, you know this.
ARRIANNA
Mm…
LUCILLE
So, if we’re taking this into consideration, I feel like beginner D&D players always play either always play a wizard, a druid, or a rogue. I feel like those are the three “starter classes”.
HANNAH
Mm, well, it depends on the…
WILLIAM
Fighter! Fighter, yeah!
RILEY
I think we’re… we’re forgetting human fighter, which is the most basic combo possible.
ARRIANNA
Yeah.
LUCILLE
That’s the thing. It’s like… Human fighter is the most basic combo possible, and so that’s why… people, if you’re me anyway, you don’t choose stuff like that until you’ve already done the more interesting things. And so, you’re like, “fine, I might as well!”
AUSTIN
Now, let’s… Let’s not forget one thing that also happens a bit too often is that somebody is new, and the DM looks at the current party like…
(clicks tongue)
“Yeah, we need a healer. Here you go.”
ARRIANNA
Yeah! yeah…
Laughter.
RIA
Yeah, that’s happened to me.
AUSTIN
And now you’re just the cleric!
ARRIANNA
Cleric.
RIA
That… That’s happened to me. They’ve… I’ve been… Several of my DM friends have tried to recruit me on that principle. “We need a healer.”
Laughter.
HANNAH
“You give off strong cleric vibes!”
RIA
“Can you please learn D&D mechanics?”
LUCILLE
I mean, really, I feel like only a cleric would be willing to transcribe.
(laughs)
KALEN
(laughs)
WILLIAM
It’s literally clerical.
AUSTIN
It is… it is clerical work.
ARRIANNA
Eyyy…
WILLIAM
I’m sorry I said that.
MALCOLM
Oh, I get it.
HANNAH
You don’t have to be sorry.
AUSTIN
Someone had to.
KALEN
Describing things…
WILLIAM
So, what’s that leave? Riley and Malcolm?
HANNAH
Oh, no, Riley said druid, remember?
WILLIAM
Oh, right, because of the zoo! You can control them with your mighty druid powers!
RILEY
I can talk to them and tell them how… how dumb they are.
Laughter.
RILEY
Everyone goes to the zoo and they’re like, “Wow, oh, look at these cool, big, majestic animals.”
Guys, they’re just as dumb as your pets. They… they still do stupid stuff, it’s just that they do it whenever you’re not there to see it, like after-hours.
ARRIANNA
Yes.
LUCILLE
Have you seen Madagascar?
ARRIANNA
(laughs)
WILLIAM
I guess that’s just Malcolm then.
MALCOLM
Yes! Mine are… They vary kind of weirdly, but paladin was always my go-to or a bard. Two…
WILLIAM
That’s solid right there!
HANNAH
Feels good!
MALCOLM
(continued)
… ends of a…
(laughs)
… spectrum, but yeah.
WILLIAM
I mean, given our layout, we’re going to need that paladin. We need that healer.
MALCOLM
(laughs)
KALEN
Yeah.
HANNAH
I’m also a paladin, though.
RILEY
Mm!
WILLIAM
You know, I’ve been ruminating, I think bard sounds sounds just about right for me.
HANNAH
Yeah, that feels good.
WILLIAM
Yeah. Alright, shall we move on with the next one?
HANNAH
Yeah.
WILLIAM
Alright, let’s see here. Up from Mourin, or maybe… Maroon?
HANNAH
I think it’s Mourin.
RIA
Mourin.
WILLIAM
Mourin makes more sense, but… I like Maroon!
HANNAH
Also Bug from the Discord is Mourin, so… hi Mourin—hi Bug!
WILLIAM
Hi, Mourin! Sorry if I mispronounce your name!
“Ria, what was the most difficult episode to transcribe and what was your favorite episode to transcribe?”
RIA
Oh my god.
(laughs)
Oh no. Oh god, hold on, where are my files?
(beat)
I’m not sure there was like a most difficult episode? Because even for the conlang, Hannah was kind enough to give me the conlang. Otherwise, things would have gone much different. Uhm, oh man…
LUCILLE
The Swap?
RIA
I would say probably… No, actually, probably the bonus episodes? Because I was just…
The bonus episodes from like seasons two to three, when we were introducing The Crew, because I was just starting, so I was just getting familiar with the formatting, and what they needed, and the voices of the people, and there was a lot more of playing back stuff to try and figure out what was being said?
Then, nowadays every episode takes me an hour, an hour and a half, versus those felt like they took me forever even though comparatively they’re so tiny!
HANNAH
I think the longest one is seven minutes!
RIA
Yeah.
HANNAH
(laughs)
RIA
Probably also the episode with Knowles’ introduction again, because I had to hear my own voice and… no. No, thank you. I… I’m not meant for that side of the microphone, I’m not sure… Why did I come here?
ARRIANNA
(sadly)
Aw…
KALEN
(laughs)
HANNAH
You auditioned! You can’t weasel out of it now!
ARRIANNA
Yeah…
RIA
And then my favorite episode to transcribe… Honestly, probably… what was it? Was it The Gem? I think The… Yeah, The Gem. When there were like… there were so many voices there and it was just a lot of fun to bounce around and hear everyone. It’s just… It was just… I don’t know, enrichment?
(laughs)
So, yeah, that’s it. Those are my answers.
HANNAH
Love that.
Yeah, you came on after The Swap, which meant I had to transcribe it.
KALEN
(chuckles)
HANNAH
Which was bad!
WILLIAM
Is that the moment, Hannah? Where you said, “I need someone to do this for me”?
HANNAH
Uh, that was the exact moment. I was like, “Mm, I’m going to crowdfund for the next season anyway, I should put that in the budget!”
WILLIAM
(laughs)
RIA
Yeah.
HANNAH
This is a question from Tali for the actors.
“How did you develop your character voices?”
WILLIAM
Oooh…
Extended silence.
CALEB
Character?
AUSTIN
(sigh)
LUCILLE
Character voice?
MALCOLM
It’s just my voice…
Laughter.
WILLIAM
Easier to answer for some than others.
HANNAH
Yeah, I was going to say! Some of you I cast because you sound exactly like you were supposed to.
RILEY
Honestly, yeah, okay. Her voice is not that far off of mine. It’s maybe a little higher-pitched and I just sound like I’ve got more life in me.
(laughs)
That’s the sort of basis of Fina’s voice.
WILLIAM
Well, I do remember in the bonus episode –you know, when you’re flashing back to your past—you were throwing a little more Texas to imply a little more your… a bit more… them’s the Hobbit roots.
RIA
Oh, oh yeah.
HANNAH
Yeah, I put on the script, “hayseed accent” not knowing you were from Texas.
RILEY
Yeah, that was fun, I went, “Oh, I can do hayseed! I can do hayseed with the best of them!”
ARRIANNA
Nice.
LUCILLE
Yeah… Rosie’s voice is pretty much just mine? Except I try to make Rosie, like… bubblier than I usually tend to be? And so, that carried over into the voice and kind of made it a little more high-pitched than I usually talk in? But other than that, I don’t really do anything special with her voice!
I considered it too when I first got cast. I was like, “I’m going to send Hannah a bunch of different voices and then she can tell me which one she wants me to do.”
And then that didn’t happen because I became incredibly lazy.
Laughter.
HANNAH
Actually, okay, so you first appeared in the last episode of season two, and you sent me three takes and I told you… “This character is kind of edgy and serious”.
(laughing)
Because, at the time, Rosie and Zara had the opposite personalities, which is… weird to contemplate now.
But you sent me a third take for fun that was kind of bubbly and, when I was writing season two and trying to fix it because it was bad, and then swapping the personalities was what made it good. I was like, “Oh, thank God! I have a bubbly version of these lines that I can use!”
ARRIANNA
(gleeful)
Did you Hercules the project?
HANNAH
What are you talking about?
Laughter.
ARRIANNA
Okay, okay. So, in Disney’s Hercules, when they were making Hades, he was supposed to be serious and, you know, Satan or whatever. And then, the actor came in, James…?
CALEB
James Woods?
ARRIANNA
Yeah! James Woods came in, did this car thing and they were just like, you know what? Fuck it!
(claps)
(snorts)
James Woods!
KALEN
(laughs)
LUCILLE
Nice, nice. I mean, Disney’s villains are gay culture, so it makes sense.
ARRIANNA
Exactly!
HANNAH
Austin, you talked a little bit about it, but I would love to know how you developed your character voice.
AUSTIN
(higher-pitched, shaky, the Meltyre voice)
He’s always there.
(regular voice)
He’s always just… He’s always there. He’s always just… on the edge of… how much I can take.
ARRIANNA
(giggles)
RIA
That’s the secret, Captain! I’m always anxious!
AUSTIN
That’s the secret! I’m always anxious!
WILLIAM
(laughing)
I want to see that Hulk!
KALEN
(laughs)
HANNAH
Malcolm! Did you have an answer?
MALCOLM
(unsure)
It’s this guy?
Laughter.
MALCOLM
(laughing)
Talking… right now. Maybe a little slower and, like, more of an asshole. But other than that, just this guy.
ARRIANNA
Max!
HANNAH
The next question is related to this one.
ARRIANNA
Okay.
LUCILLE
Wait, sorry.
HANNAH
William, go ahead.
LUCILLE
Go back to…
WILLIAM
Oh, no, sorry, I was waiting on perhaps our smooth-voiced goddess over there, Arrianna.
HANNAH
Oh! Arrianna, I’m so sorry.
ARRIANNA
Oh! Uhm… This voice… Uhm…
(dubious noise)
She came out of smug, I guess? Like, I don’t know. I don’t know. Just imagine that like… Imagine someone who… yeah. How I always imagined Sadiyah was like a rich woman… trying to be humble, you know? So, I kind of just put that affection on her…
(faux innocent, slightly pompous)
“Totally a bar maid but I’m going to call my… my maid, yeah, to come do the work!”
LUCILLE
Like the poodle from Oliver and Company!
ARRIANNA
Yeah!
(clapping for emphasis)
Which, sing that song to myself every day.
Laughter.
LUCILLE
Yeah!
(snaps her fingers)
ARRIANNA
Exactly! So, yeah, Sadiyah’s voice is just… just a more smug… rich me, I guess.
(laughs)
That’s it!
WILLIAM
Kalen, any backstory on your many extras?
KALEN
Are… did you say…? Are you talking to me?
HANNAH
Yes!
WILLIAM
Yes, Ka… Sorry.
(dramatically)
Kah-leeen!
KALEN
I only heard… I only heard the second half of what you were saying, so I didn’t hear my name.
HANNAH
Ah!
KALEN
I mean, I feel like a lot of them were just like… especially with the Guard and with Townie, it’s only like one or two lines. So, like, you know, with Townie, I was just like, “Oh.”
I think Hannah at one point told me like… “Oh, you’re like a guy just sitting out at his front porch seeing them pass by.” Or something.
So, I was like, “Okay, I’ll just like… You know.” I don’t… I don’t even remember my line.
(laughs)
HANNAH
I can’t believe you don’t remember a one-off line from three years ago!
KALEN
Yeah!
[Cross-talking.]
RIA
Messed up!
KALEN
I think the… I think the voice I put… I thought… I put the most thought into was Reevis because he was the more… He was the fancy butler. So, I was thinking like… trying to do like… I don’t think I did quite like a… I didn’t quite get like an accent, I don’t think, but I tried to be… tried to sound more like… Like…
WILLIAM
Fancy?
KALEN
I guess, high… high standing, sort of? And like… I don’t know.
HANNAH
Would you say highfalutin?
WILLIAM
I think he would!
KALEN
May…? I don’t know. Trying to… trying to imagine how a butler from a rich family would speak.
WILLIAM
Well, on the topic of voices, I would like to ask perhaps the most well-worded question, from Aqua. Austin, here’s one for you!
“I want to ask Austin how many goats he sacrificed to make his vocal range that big?”
RIA
(laughs)
AUSTIN
(mumbling)
I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.
Laughter.
AUSTIN
I don’t know. I’ve got a question for you, Aqua: have you ever seen a goat? ‘cause I don’t think I have! I don’t know!
HANNAH
(cackles)
You’ve never seen a goat?
AUSTIN
What even is a goat?
RILEY
Sacrificing goats is so last year! Obviously, who do you think… (unintelligible)
AUSTIN
Honestly, if I even knew what a goat was, I wouldn’t even know how to sacrifice it!
ARRIANNA
(slightly perturbed)
Oh! Oh…
AUSTIN
Like, where do you… where do you put it? I don’t…
RILEY
Obviously, he’s got to… he’s got himself a… (unintelligible)
AUSTIN
Seriously, though? I don’t know. I mean, personally? I don’t like talking about my voice, not in like a “I’m not confident about it” kind of way. I just don’t know how to accept compliments about it! It’s a weird thing! It’s like, “Yeah, that’s just how I talk. Thanks for… liking it. That’s pretty cool.”
And then I… Yeah, so. No, I haven’t sacrificed any goats. Because, I… To me, it’s nothing special, it’s just… what I have.
ARRIANNA
Mm…
HANNAH
This is a question from Mourin:
“Elusive assistant director: how did you get roped into this?”
WILLIAM
(excitedly)
Ooh! There’s one for me?
HANNAH
Yeah!
WILLIAM
I… I…
(mirthful)
I lived with her, and I was always supportive of her, so she asked me to be supportive of something else.
HANNAH
That’s true, we were roommates at the time. I forgot about it.
WILLIAM
Yeah!
(laughs)
That’s just about it! I mean, I wanted to help Hannah with this, it seemed like a cool idea and, you know, someone needed to drive home and grab the charging cord when she forgot about it, so that’s what I’m here for!
HANNAH
Listen.
RIA
Aw…
LUCILLE
William got this job by supporting women!
Laughter.
HANNAH
Feminism!
Go ahead, Will!
WILLIAM
Yes! Right, it is my turn! From Kate: “Is there canonically a stuffed alligator in the Wizard’s Tower? And, if so, what is its name?”
HANNAH
This is in reference to a fic that I wrote that was fanfiction of my own show, technically, because I never intended to publish it, but I did as a crowdfunding milestone perk, and I just ended up throwing it all up on AO3! So, it’s there if you want to read it! But it does involve—
RIA
It’s really good.
HANNAH
Ah- thank you.
(horrified)
Aaah, people have read it, oh no.
William and Ria laugh.
HANNAH
I was just doing it as a writing exercise, honestly, because I kind of always have to be working on something or else I’ll die, like a shark! And… it ended up good?
And I love… I love Meltyre and I love… Sterling, and I love… I love my children. I love all my children. All my fantasy children, which is another podcast.
WILLIAM
I do just want to ask, Hannah, and just a quick yes-or-no, how canonical is this fanfiction?
(beat)
Alright.
(amused)
For those of you listening at home, that was one heck of a shrug!
HANNAH
(laughing)
It’s like eh, you know…?
RIA
It’s in the… in the description too, you wrote that, didn’t you? “This is kind of canonical but also it isn’t and… meh.”
HANNAH
The author is dead.
ARRIANNA
Oof.
HANNAH
(quickly)
Metaphorically. I’m like…
RIA
(laughs)
AUSTIN
It’s like a… It’s like…
HANNAH
Do what you want. I don’t… I don’t mind.
AUSTIN
It’s like the Silver timeline, you know?
HANNAH
Yes.
That having been said, in the dubious kind of canonical this particular fiction is, there is an alligator hanging in the Wizard’s Tower at the Palace, and that is a reference both to The Once and Future King and to Terry Pratchett.
I just… it feels good to have an alligator hanging from the ceiling when you’re a wizard, that’s all I’m saying! That’s all I’m saying.
AUSTIN
Al-li-gat-or!
HANNAH
Uh, this is a question from Mourin: “Actors, if you could choose any other character from the show to play, who would it be?”
WILLIAM
Ooh!
LUCILLE
Zara.
WILLIAM
(laughs)
LUCILLE
Zara!
HANNAH
That was so quick, Lucy!
(laughs)
LUCILLE
Listen, I love Zara so much.
(laughs)
Like, Zara or… I can’t remember if we gave her an actual name…
(snaps her fingers)
Sadiyah! Sadiyah.
ARRIANNA
Ah!
(chuckles)
AUSTIN
Mm.
LUCILLE
I just love mean women, what can I say?
(through laughter)
That’s my problem!
ARRIANNA
(cackles)
Same.
RIA
Relatable.
ARRIANNA
Yes.
HANNAH
Feminism!
Laughter.
LUCILLE
Feminism is me getting to be a bitch!
WILLIAM
I feel like we should just subtitle this bonus episode as: “Feminism, dot.”
ARRIANNA
Feminism! Ah…
WILLIAM
Malcolm, who would you like to play? If you could pick anyone else in the cast.
MALCOLM
Uh… Ooh. I just had it in my head, wait, hold on. I was going to say… Knowles or Killiker.
WILLIAM
Mm. That’s a—
MALCOLM
But I think I would say Knowles is more because of the characterization that was already done, so, I don’t know if that counts, but… I just like Knowles.
HANNAH
JV does great work.
MALCOLM
Mhm.
WILLIAM
Anyone else want to toss one or should I volun-told someone?
RILEY
I would love to be Townsfolk 1.
ARRIANNA
(laughs)
Yeah!
WILLIAM
Yeah!
HANNAH
Townie…
RILEY
The dream of mine!
Laughter.
HANNAH
Kalen, didn’t you play Townie in the D&D game that we had?
KALEN
Yes, the best D&D character I’ve ever played. Towndrich McDolend.
ARRIANNA
(laughs)
KALEN
Townie for short!
ARRIANNA
Aw…
WILLIAM
If you want the extended canon, you should have been playing D&D with us!
HANNAH
Mm…
AUSTIN
Yeah, yeah.
(seriously)
I still think about that betrayal.
Laughter.
KALEN
Didn’t you live under the town and steal all of its wealth after that oneshot, Austin?
HANNAH
No, I think that was you, man!
KALEN
No! I—I became the mayor! I was… I was him secretly…
HANNAH
Oh, yeah!
WILLIAM
You had—
RILEY
He was in line with the law! Don’t lump him with the…
HANNAH
(shouting)
He was not in line with the law! He disguised himself as the mayor!
AUSTIN
He was not—!
RILEY
That’s fine, don’t worry about it.
KALEN
I just stole the mayor’s identity and became the mayor.
RILEY
(laughs)
KALEN
And then someone eventually assassinated me, and then I went off to live wherever I ended up running into… the rest of… You know…
WILLIAM
All I remember is I was useless in that campaign, yeah.
KALEN
(laughs)
HANNAH
We had three sorcerers in that game. You all are nuts.
WILLIAM
Hey, wait, what class was I? Because I was a talking dog.
HANNAH
You were… You were a talking dog. That was your class.
WILLIAM
That was my class?
HANNAH
(laughing)
Yeah!
ARRIANNA
Nice!
WILLIAM
What about you, Arrianna? Who would you like to play?
ARRIANNA
Oh my god. Uhm… Malcolm’s character or… Killiker, because, you know? Who doesn’t want to play a character that just oozes sex?
(laughs)
Uhm…
LUCILLE
Really!
ARRIANNA
Yeah! Or Tode! I would actually love to play Tode, too!
WILLIAM
Mm! Yeah!
ARRIANNA
I don’t know, Tode has the best lines so…
LUCILLE
I would love to play Tode!
CALEB
Ah!
ARRIANNA
Yeah!
LUCILLE
During a couple sessions where Anthony couldn’t make it, I was like, “I could be both characters, though! I could make it work!”
MALCOLM
(laughs)
LUCILLE
I had faith in myself and that’s what matters.
ARRIANNA
Exactly! And, you know…
RIA
Follow your dreams.
ARRIANNA
Yeah.
WILLIAM
I think that just leaves Caleb then, and I did say Caleb with a B.
CALEB
I have completely forgotten the character’s name, but for the… the crossover episode that we did with Castor.
HANNAH
Oh, Rion!
RIA
Rion.
CALEB
Yes, the… Well, the…
LUCILLE
Sidequestion? Sidequesting?
CALEB
Sidequesting, yeah.
RIA
Sidequesting!
CALEB
It was the demon that James Oliva played.
HANNAH
Oh, yeah!
CALEB
I just love doing little creepy, goblin dudes. It’s one of my favorite things and I do not get to do it often enough in podcasting.
(laughs)
HANNAH
I’ll remember that!
LUCILLE
I literally asked. I begged the… John from Silt Verses to let me play any and all terrible little creatures that they have in the show.
WILLIAM
So, that leave, uh … Hang on, I just want to make sure we got everyone because that was one of my favorite questions!
KALEN
I did not answer the question, I don’t think.
HANNAH
Who would you play, Kalen?
KALEN
I…
(clicks tongue)
I should have been thinking about it more!
Laughter.
KALEN
I think…
(laughs)
RILEY
“Hey, I haven’t answered yet! I mean… I don’t… I don’t have an answer!”
WILLIAM
You said you wanted to be Townsfolk!
RIA
You want to be included.
KALEN
I…
HANNAH
You’re like the four-year-old at Sunday school! I want to talk!
KALEN
Yeah!
WILLIAM
(laughs)
KALEN
Ha-ha! Now I have… I have the mic now and I can just say whatever I want!
(chuckles)
The… I forget the name of the dark… the evil… the big bad from season one. That’s who I want.
HANNAH
Ooh, the Bone King.
WILLIAM
Village King…
RIA
The Bone King!
KALEN
The Bone King, yeah!
WILLIAM
The Bone King. Sorry.
LUCILLE
Bone Daddy!
ARRIANNA
Ah! You took it from me, I was about to say that!
CALEB
(cackles)
RIA
Bone Daddy…
WILLIAM
Nobody defeats the Bone King!
ARRIANNA
Bone Daddy!
AUSTIN
That’s hilarious because I too would also like to play the Bone King.
Laughs.
HANNAH
It was Marquis though.
AUSTIN
I feel like the Bone King is an undeveloped character that we could have really fleshed out and made a real good spin-off. Out of.
RILEY
I feel like the more we… The more we say “the Bone King”, the less it sounds like a real name.
HANNAH
Riley, it didn’t sound like a real name when I wrote it! It was a filler!
AUSTIN
It’s not a real name, though! It’s a title!
RIA
Yeah…
KALEN
Yeah, it’s a title!
AUSTIN
We don’t know the Bone King’s name. It could be something…
LUCILLE
Bone King is only a couple letters away from “boning”.
ARRIANNA
Ey!
AUSTIN
(continued)
Something super not scary.
RILEY
What are the Bone King’s… What are the Bone King’s thoughts and dreams? What are… what are the Bone King’s motivations?
WILLIAM
Well, he wanted to be a dancer, but you know how bone daddies…
ARRIANNA
Ah, it’s a boner… No, that’s not…
AUSTIN
We know how artists get treated, you know?
KALEN
I think…
RILEY
We need… We need a director fanfiction of the Bone King.
ARRIANNA
There you go!
WILLIAM
Do it, Hannah! You don’t have enough on this one.
RIA
Next crowdfund!
HANNAH
“The very first…” No, you want it? I’ll do it, too! I have it!
WILLIAM
(laughs)
ARRIANNA
Totally. I want it.
RILEY
Oh?
ARRIANNA
Give it to me!
(snorts)
HANNAH
“Back when the Inn was new, the very first visitor it had was an ambitious young man who had dreams of greatness and, uh, a convenient vase he could use for phylactery.”
There you go, that’s it.
ARRIANNA
(clapping)
(faintly)
Yaay…
WILLIAM
Aw, it’s…
RIA
Beautiful!
HANNAH
Thank you!
AUSTIN
Now we know!
LUCILLE
Now, I want to play the Bone King!
MALCOLM
(laughs)
HANNAH
I’ll remember that. If I ever…
ARRIANNA
I change my answer. Bone King.
WILLIAM
I think for like half a second Hannah was like: “Hey, I’m doing a podcast. Do you want to be one of the main characters?”
And I’m glad that I wasn’t, because… I don’t have it.
HANNAH
You… you’re better at public speaking than acting, like me!
WILLIAM
Yeah!
AUSTIN
Mm!
RILEY
Mm…
WILLIAM
I’m great at acting as William.
So, from Mourin… Moh-rin! Gosh! I want you to… I want you to send me some hate mail if I’m mispronouncing your…
HANNAH
Bug would never send you hatemail!
AUSTIN
(growling, aggressive voice)
Want you to cancel him, now!
RIA
We’ll see. We’ll see.
WILLIAM
So, I guess this one is kind of for you, Hannah:
“Can you tease something from next season to tide us over?”
HANNAH
I actually want to turn this one over to Malcolm.
Various oohs.
MALCOLM
I will be in the next season!
ARRIANNA
Oooh!
HANNAH
As! One of our five heroes!
ARRIANNA
(gasp)
Mm!
RIA
Ooh!
HANNAH
Which is pretty funny because the whole Discord was all like… “Aha, obviously Max is returning as the big bad evil guy in the next season!”
MALCOLM
(laughs)
HANNAH
“Because we hate him!”
ARRIANNA
(despairing)
Oh no…
MALCOLM
(through laughter)
Evil guys can be heroes too!
ARRIANNA
Exactly!
LUCILLE
Guys… Max got upgraded to protagonist!
ARRIANNA
(smug)
Exactly!
HANNAH
We’re doing a redemption arc, and it’s going to be nasty! I’m so excited for it!
ARRIANNA
Yes, redemption arc!
RIA
It’s going to be great!
WILLIAM
I mean, if we’re just doing a redemption arc season, can we throw in the Bone King and the Riddle goblin and the Sphynx?
ARRIANNA
Can I get a redemption arc? Nah, don’t need one.
KALEN
Townie!
RIA
This is how you finish the… the episode three of season five, you just write in The Bone King! The story will write itself!
MALCOLM
There you go! Max is the Bone King!
AUSTIN
(deep, narrator voice)
“Episode 1: The Bone King.”
ARRIANNA
Max was the Bone King the entire time!
HANNAH
Oh my gosh… That would be a good plot twist, but I can’t in good conscience pull that off! I have a whole separate backstory for Max!
AUSTIN
(in a deep voice)
Max (indistinguishable) off his bones!
RILEY
Maybe the real Bone King was the friends we made along the way!
WILLIAM
(emotional, fake crying)
That’s so beautiful, Riley!
KALEN
Season five is going to be the five adventurers learning how to become one Bone King.
HANNAH
(simultaneously)
Bone King!
ARRIANNA
Yes!
WILLIAM
Yes!
(claps)
Just forming a Bone Mech!
RIA
(strained)
The Bone Power Rangers?
WILLIAM
Boner Rangers, if you will.
HANNAH
Like a freaking bone Voltron…
WILLIAM
(disgusted self-realization)
Oh, God, I said that!
RIA
(cackles)
AUSTIN
Just a big calcium Megazord!
RILEY
Don’t mind me… me and my bone Gundam over here!
RIA
Voltron. Oh… Oh my goodness…
ARRIANNA
(high-pitched cackles)
HANNAH
(through laughter)
Okay, I have… I have one last question. This is from both Ellie and Kate: “What would you say to your character if you met them?”
Beat.
LUCILLE
Girl.
Laughter.
HANNAH
Just that? Just… just “girl”?
LUCILLE
Yeah! Straight up!
HANNAH
Like in a shady way or an admiration way?
LUCILLE
¿Por qué no los dos?
(laughs)
CALEB
¿Por qué no los dos?
LUCILLE
I don’t know. I love Rosie… Rosie… Rosie is one of those characters that I’m like… “Oh, honey, you did nothing wrong, but also, like, you did everything wrong, though? But also, lowkey, you did nothing wrong!”
ARRIANNA
I know this, and I love you.
Laughter.
RIA
You sure did… things.
ARRIANNA
Mine would be: “Do you, boo. Keep doing you, boo.”
(laughs)
“Just… keep doing you.”
LUCILLE
Yeah, like who are you to tell a goddess what to do?
ARRIANNA
Yeah! Who am I to… Yeah, exactly. Do you, boo. Keep doing you.
HANNAH
God forbid women do anything. You do you.
ARRIANNA
Exactly! Do you, boo. You want to destroy the world? You want to cause this chaos? Do you, boo. That’s it.
RIA
You want to destroy Knowles’ sanity? You know what? Go ahead.
ARRIANNA
Exactly! Do you, boo.
HANNAH
They’ll be fine!
RILEY
We’ve all been there, you know.
ARRIANNA
I’ll be there. I’ll be in the background. Mhm. I’ll be there. For the best goddess.
LUCILLE
Arrianna will be Sadiyah’s backup dancer.
ARRIANNA
Exactly! Just, like, right there! Right there.
WILLIAM
I’ve got to say, I’m really curious especially what Riley will tell Fina.
RILEY
I feel like… Aw, man. I think… I think all I would… all I would really want to say is something… I don’t know the exact wording, but I think I’d say something along the lines of, you know, like…
“People really love your story. People love hearing about your story.”
RIA
Aw.
WILLIAM
Aw, sweet!
RILEY
I think that… that’d be something she’d like to hear.
HANNAH
You made me cry.
WILLIAM
Dang! You guys better come up with some good answers because Riley just about nailed that.
HANNAH
You made me cry, Riley!
ARRIANNA
Yeah! Eesh!
AUSTIN
(sigh)
I don’t know. I feel like… I feel like just popping into existence in front of somebody who is paranoid is not… a great thing for health. So, I probably just just say like…
(sigh)
Yeah, I’d probably just say, “You’re moving in a good direction. Just keep…. Just keep moving forward. That’s what matters.”
And then I’d slap him really hard! Disappear!
Laughter.
HANNAH
Why?
AUSTIN
In, like, a loving way! Not on the face, but like, just like… right on the back and then I’m gone! In a comedic puff of pink smoke! Really out there!
RIA
And glitter!
WILLIAM
I think my favorite fanfiction was the one where Austin showed up and slapped Meltyre.
Laughter.
ARRIANNA
Canon!
KALEN
Yeah! You should just record that… Like, record a… Austin meeting Meltyre.
AUSTIN
Honestly, my favorite fanfiction of Meltyre is me showing up, telling him just, “Yeah, you know what? It’s okay to say fuck sometimes.” And then, disappear.
RIA
(giggles)
KALEN
(laughs)
AUSTIN
“You sound like you need it, kid!”
ARRIANNA
(laughs)
I love that.
HANNAH
For those of you listening, a secret… There is a secret… Not just Austin recording this moment where Meltyre swears, but also like a… oh, what’s that called? Like a storyboard thing?
AUSTIN
An animatic?
KALEN
An an… animatic.
HANNAH
An animatic. There’s also an animatic of it on Youtube! So… have fun tracking that down!
ARRIANNA
Is there? Oh my god!
WILLIAM
You’ve got to send me that animatic, Hannah!
RIA
Hold up.
KALEN
It’s pinned on the Discord server, so you can find it if you go there.
ARRIANNA
Mm!
HANNAH
It’s true, you should join us.
WILLIAM
Now, tell me, Malcolm, what does… What does Max need to hear from you?
MALCOLM
I started with “chill out” but I think it would probably be…
(pause)
“No one likes you as much as you like you.”
RIA
Oooh…
ARRIANNA
Aw…
WILLIAM
Mm. Hot take!
ARRIANNA
(sadly)
I like him…
MALCOLM
That will help him be better!
Laughter.
RIA
Things that need to be said!
ARRIANNA
Yeah…
MALCOLM
You’re allowed to have fun but be better!
ARRIANNA
Be better.
WILLIAM
I mean, Kalen, you got a long list you’ve got working for you there. Are there any brief… I mean, you know, perhaps not the deepest but any snippets you want to tell them?
ARRIANNA
Townie!
KALEN
Uh…
(laughs)
I don’t think I need to say anything to Townie. He’s got everything figured out.
Laughter.
KALEN
I would write down everything that happens to Knowles in seasons three and four and then tell Traver exactly what happens so he can make a bet with Knowles of what’s going to happen to him in the future.
Laughter.
HANNAH
Incredible!
WILLIAM
I love that you’re using this to metagame it.
RIA
You know what? On that note, I would tell Vira to stop making bets with Knowles.
Everyone laughs.
RIA
Stop it! Stop it! I know you’re new at the Guard but stop it!
WILLIAM
I forget, Caleb, did you add your two cents to that one?
CALEB
Uh, no.
ARRIANNA
No.
CALEB
But I think it would be short and sweet.
(whispers)
“Loosen up a little.”
HANNAH
Just a bit.
LUCILLE
Go outside, touch some grass.
WILLIAM
I’m beginning to see a pattern emerging with what we want to tell our characters.
HANNAH
(sigh)
Alright. Thank you all for joining us so much. I appreciate all of you spending your time on this. I know everybody is really going to like it!
So, closing remarks? I don’t know!
Background music fades in.
WILLIAM
Bye, listeners!
ARRIANNA
Bye, listeners!
LUCILLE
Drink water!
WILLIAM
Amen!
RIA
Go outside! Touch some grass!
AUSTIN
Hydrate! Touch grass!
ARRIANNA
Do you, boo.
Laughter.
Background music continues as voices fade out.
HANNAH
Let’s run through and say who’s here real quick. So, let’s just do names, pronouns, and what you do on the show. Kira, go!
KIRA
Kira Apple, my pronouns are she/her and I play Cybilene.
HANNAH
Yay. Katherine!
KATHERINE
I’m Katherine Ayers, she/her and I edit the podcast.
HANNAH
Quin!
QUIN
Quin Leigh, she/her, I play Zara.
HANNAH
And a second appearance by both Caleb and William.
WILLIAM
You first, Caleb!
CALEB
Okay.
I’m Caleb del Rio, I play Castor, my pronouns are he/him.
WILLIAM
William Wright, he/him, assistant director but really I’m more of a glorified gopher. I explained what that was last time, so I’m not going to bother doing that here! Also, Riddle Goblin!
HANNAH
Yeah, I was going to say, our listeners heard that like thirty, forty-five minutes ago.
WILLIAM
Yeah, exactly!
HANNAH
That might be ambitious.
Background music fades out.
HANNAH
Would you care to ask the first question, William?
WILLIAM
I would be overjoyed to ask the first question. Let’s see here. This one comes from Anne, two n’s and an e, in case you’re curious:
“What was everyone’s favorite episode?”
CALEB
(whispers)
If you need to pull up the episode list, you can. I did that last time.
KIRA
I was going to say, I’m assuming we’re talking about just the last season? Just the previous season.
WILLIAM
I mean…
HANNAH
You can talk whatever episodes you want, because I know you have listened to the whole show, but you can just say…
KIRA
I have listened to the whole thing!
Well, I would say what came to mind for me was the brain… the brain swap episode.
HANNAH
Yeah!
WILLIAM
The Swap.
KIRA
The personality swap episode was, a hundred percent, one of the best times I’ve ever had listening to a podcast.
WILLIAM
(chuckles)
That one was frequently mentioned last time. Well, tell you what, Caleb, what did you say last time? I… I… I’ve forgotten since then.
CALEB
We structured it a little bit differently. We said our favorite episode to act in and then our favorite episode in general. So…
HANNAH
I believe you said your favorite was acting as… the Gray One was the favorite to act in.
CALEB
Yes, and my favorite in general was… No, not the Twin. The Festival…?
HANNAH
Yeah!
CALEB
Right? Because we got so much emotional honesty from Zara which is so nice and so rare…
QUIN
Yeah…
HANNAH
(chuckles)
WILLIAM
I do love a carnie.
HANNAH
You can’t argue with a carnie!
WILLIAM
Can’t argue with a carnie!
CALEB
We can and we did.
WILLIAM
That’s a good point.
QUIN
We can, we did, we… found out.
CALEB
Mhm.
WILLIAM
The carnie did checkmate you guys, so the carnie gets the high ground on that one.
CALEB
Mhmm.
HANNAH
It was sort of a “mess around and find out” situation.
WILLIAM
Ah!
HANNAH
What about you? What’s your favorite episode?
QUIN
I had a second ago and it completely fell out of my brain.
KATHERINE
(giggles)
QUIN
(laughs)
I mean, acting-wise, definitely The Festival because that was… intimidating? Just like… I was reading through the script for this season and in one episode I’m crying and in the next episode I’m doing a conlang, and I’m like…
(nervously)
No pressure! It’s fine!
HANNAH
You did it, but you, like, flexed on it! It was amazing!
QUIN
(relieved sigh)
I’m glad you thought so because I was very worried that I was going over melodramatic with it!
HANNAH
Not at all! You were great!
QUIN
I really love The Travel Game too, just because I love the idea of them just like…
WILLIAM
Oh, yeah.
QUIN
I love the episodes where the Crew is just like… bonding as bros and, you know, Zara is also there.
Laughter.
QUIN
“Zara is a tsundere: a multi-part season.”
HANNAH
Katherine, do you have a favorite?
KATHERINE
So, I do like the brain swap episode a lot, and I also liked the Demonology bonus episode.
HANNAH
Oh!
KATHERINE
And the bonus episode with Zara and Meltyre?
HANNAH
Yeah!
KATHERINE
I think those are my favorite.
WILLIAM
I think…
HANNAH
Wasn’t the episode with Zara and Meltyre like… five minutes long?
KATHERINE
Yeah. Easy edit.
HANNAH
Did you like it because it was easy to edit?
KATHERINE
No, no! I just liked it!
WILLIAM
I think my favorite often comes down to which ones came out in a cool and fun way. So, you know, Katherine, you kind of read my mind with the Swap which was very fun to see acted out… and very confusing to direct. That was a trip and a half.
(laughs)
(genuinely)
The script was a mess, and it was awesome!
And, again, the Demonology one was very cool. Again, two voices that I loved, and I loved hearing together. Came together so well.
The Math was also fun because I remember Hannah stressing out over how she could do that answer trying to think on how Betty would answer in base twelve. That was very fun! And…
HANNAH
Math is hard, y’all!
WILLIAM
Math is hard!
QUIN
It is.
KIRA
Yeah.
WILLIAM
And, you know, you got to love the Potion because who doesn’t love a little bit of fanservice?
CALEB
Oh, so true! Oh, that was also such a good one!
QUIN
Mhm. That was so much fun.
HANNAH
I feel like I have a favorite episode per season?
KIRA
Oh!
HANNAH
So, like The Gods was my favorite episode from season one, then body swap for season two. And then, season three was probably The Warlock because Damon… demon acting!
No, not The Warlock! The one that came directly before it… The Possession, I guess. Same as Caleb.
And then… oh, I don’t even know! The Gem? The Gem was probably the best episo… My favorite episode in season four.
CALEB
Mm… Is that the first one? Or the last one?
HANNAH
No, that’s the second-to-last one…
CALEB
Oh…
HANNAH
(sheepish laughter)
… where we had nine actors in the same room.
CALEB
Oh my god.
WILLIAM
That was a feat!
HANNAH
I will never… I will never direct one of these massive casts of like… That’s… Nine is too many. I think I’m not going to do that again.
QUIN
You did it with grace and aplomb though.
HANNAH
Thank you!
(laughs)
QUIN
I think we can all agree.
CALEB
Mhm.
HANNAH
I will say… I should point out that Liz Morey, who was one of the voices of the Gray One, is now starring in a show called Badlands Cola which absolutely slaps, and we should all listen to it. It’s about a cult, and it’s about dinosaurs, and it’s great.
CALEB
Subscribing now…
WILLIAM
Is it also about soda? Because…
HANNAH
I assume so… It’s got Cola in the name, so I can only guess.
WILLIAM
Because that just makes me thirsty. Or makes me want to play some Fallout, either one.
HANNAH
True.
JV! Would you give name, pronouns and what you do on Inn Between.
JV
Yes!
Oh boy, for some reason, I apparently just forgot my name. For no reason. Anyway, it’s fine. It’s not like it’s directly in front of me or anything. It’s fine. Anyway!
Hey, everyone! My name is JV Hampton Van-Sant, my pronouns are they and she and I… I play Knowles.
HANNAH
Yay!
JV
The lovable Knowles.
HANNAH
What would you say is your favorite episode?
JV
Oh god… I had an answer for this one, but I forgot what it was! You can tell how my day has been going, it’s fine!
HANNAH
It’s okay!
JV
I forgot which one it specifically was. It was in the… this most recent one, this most recent season, it was about halfway through. I forgot why it was my favorite, but it was. That… that is as good as answer as I have at the moment. Just one episode…
HANNAH
I’ll take it!
(laughs)
WILLIAM
It’s one episode, it’s in the middle, and it’s good!
JV
Yes.
(laughs)
HANNAH
Could it possibly be the Luck Redux because you basically killed with that episode.
QUIN
Mhm.
HANNAH
Slayed.
JV
That I think was the one, yeah. That was the one.
WILLIAM
You killed so many people!
CALEB
(snorts)
HANNAH
Arrianna said that was her favorite too.
JV
Just mad at everyone. No. Just kidding, but yeah, that’s… It was quite fun.
HANNAH
Here is a question from Kate: “What class would each of you be if you were a D&D character?”
JV
Mm…
WILLIAM
Oh, boy, I am excited for this one!
JV
I have like two answers for this. I have the answer that is… “This is what I’ve played almost every time I’ve done this”.
(laughs)
And then there’s…
And then there’s… There is one that I’ve tried playing recently and I realized, “Yeah, that’s it. That’s the one I like.”
So, I think I’ll go with, for the first one, normally, I wind up playing a ranger, which I just… wind up enjoying rather a lot.
HANNAH
Powerful.
JV
Yeah. Nature things. I enjoy just being in nature and doing mildly feral things. It’s just quite fun. The one that, subject of… feral things, I have found, more recently, that playing a barbarian is real fun. It’s really great. I… I love it, I love it so much.
Oof, oh. Oh, it’s very fun. So, yeah. I guess, maybe a multiclass! Maybe a multiclass of ranger and barbarian.
CALEB
Ooh!
WILLIAM
Ooh! I like it! We didn’t have a multiclass last time; we did have someone… Who said artificer?
CALEB
Ah, Lucy said, uh, some kind of… Shoot, something mixed with artificer. Rogue?
WILLIAM
Yeah.
HANNAH
Feels right. Feels organic.
CALEB
Mhm.
QUIN
Mhm.
JV
(laughs)
WILLIAM
You know, I’m very curious to see from the wizard behind the scenes, Katherine, over there. But also, is she perhaps a wizard? Because she does seem quite competent in that regard.
HANNAH
(giggles)
KATHERINE
So… I think I would… just pick wizard but I did actually, funny enough, I did take a quiz?
HANNAH
(laughs)
KATHERINE
An online quiz. “What class are you?” And I got druid.
WILLIAM
Mm!
HANNAH
Ooh…
KATHERINE
I don’t know how to back that up at all but.
HANNAH
It’s an online quiz, it doesn’t need to—oh my gosh (indistinguishable).
KATHERINE
You’re right.
WILLIAM
What are we… what are we feeling in the Quin corner of things?
QUIN
Just based on my own personality I think I would end being a wizard, just because it is… You know, I’m generally a more academic than physical person? I usually play a warlock, just because I like coming up with of non-traditional ways that warlock pacts can come about.
(laughs)
Most of them by accident because, you know. It’s fun to work around the problems that you make for yourself!
WILLIAM
(laughs)
QUIN
Yeah.
WILLIAM
I’ve always wanted to play a warlock, just to think about a very weird patron.
(beat)
Well, Kira, tell me. What do you think? What are you feeling?
KIRA
Probably bard. Me as a person, I guess, because I’ve always done theatre.
(laughs)
Laughter.
KIRA
Writing. So, I’d be like a… yeah. A… bard, writer slash performer with a… with a little bit of a scholar thrown in, probably.
HANNAH
I love that!
WILLIAM
That’s very good.
KIRA
I know that’s not really a class, but…
HANNAH
It is now!
QUIN
Yeah!
KIRA
Oh, that’s true! Oh, that’s true,
WILLIAM
Is it?
KIRA
Yeah!
HANNAH
Yeah! There’s some… Unearthed Arcana about it? I don’t know, I don’t really follow that.
WILLIAM
That’s so out of the game, man!
JV
(laughs)
KIRA
Scholar’s always kind of been like a part of bard? Like, you can be a writing-focused bard? But it’s not quite the same as studying.
HANNAH
You have to go to college to be a bard.
QUIN
I think it could be a class if you’re not a coward!
JV
There you go! There you go.
WILLIAM
I think last time I just kind of blurted out “barbarian”, in a very barbarian fashion. But I’m in your… I’m in your boat there, Kira. Definitely a bard. Mostly because I’m… not just extroverted, but I would say shamelessly extroverted.
KATHERINE
Mm.
HANNAH
I love that for you.
JV
Mm… Bard barbarian, perhaps.
HANNAH
Won’t you ask us the next question, William?
WILLIAM
I would be overjoyed to do so! Let’s see here, from Mourin… Ah! The one that I didn’t know how to pronounce last time…“Do you have any favorite moments that ended up getting cut out of the show?”
HANNAH
This is a great question because I get to tell you a secret: I never cut anything out of the show. Ever.
WILLIAM
(laughs)
HANNAH
I don’t write things if I don’t intend to make them happen! I just don’t!
WILLIAM
Well, I’ve—
HANNAH
They’re in the show!
WILLIAM
I’ve got an answer, the ones that don’t get in there, the weird bloopers that kind of… spiral out of control.
CALEB
Yeah…
JV
Oh my god.
CALEB
Yeah, definitely.
HANNAH
Okay, there is one moment that I regret cutting out of the show, and it is the one where they’re doing math. It is the one where… Velune says that the answer to the problem is sixty-nine and Riley, unprompted, went, “Nice!”
Laughter.
HANNAH
And I did have to cut that out!
(dissolves into laughter)
But that’s it, that’s my only moment I’ve cut out from the show!
JV
Understandable.
KIRA
I mean, I think we all regret that, so.
CALEB
Mhm.
JV
Yeah.
WILLIAM
(laughs)
JV
Oh, it’s regrettable, but I get it.
HANNAH
Another question from Mourin: “Katherine, what is your favorite part of sound production? And what type of work do you want to do in the future?”
WILLIAM
(interested)
Mm!
KATHERINE
Uh…
(laughs)
Sound production?
HANNAH
I mean, all of the editing you do, I think.
KATHERINE
I guess of the whole process editing is my favorite, and then part of editing… I guess…
(sighs)
Like… in this case… dialogue? Doing the dialogue parts? Like, putting all of those together because it’s a lot of attention to detail? And then, what do I want to do in the future?
(sharp sigh)
(giggling)
No idea.
(laughs)
More of this, maybe? I like doing the audio dramas. Yeah.
HANNAH
It’s a very powerful person who likes dialogue editing, I just want to point that out.
CALEB
Mhm.
WILLIAM
Oh, yeah.
JV
Upon… that was the thing that always, in the whole process was the… the part that was more nerve-wracking, because I hate when I’ve left a small little… a small little piece of someone’s take in there that either wasn’t meant to be there or was from another take and then… finding those small little artifacts that are left there was the part that I hated the most, and then sort of organizing things in the right sequence and then leaving enough space correctly, and like… Ugh.
CALEB
Oh my god, yeah.
KATHERINE
Yeah… I actually really like that.
Laughter.
CALEB
Wow.
KATHERINE
I was…
JV
Again: powerful!
KATHERINE
I just did that crossover episode, I sent it to Hannah yesterday and I was thriving. It was dialogue.
HANNAH
This is the crossover episode with a show called The Inn at the Edge of Greenwood which… I think will have come out by the time this happens? But if not then… Oops! It’s an announcement!
KATHERINE
I’ll cut it out, whatever.
Laughter.
QUIN
Spoilers!
WILLIAM
We’ll cut it in post! We’ll cut it in post.
Another great one from Mourin: “What’s your personal favorite moment or line from the show?”
This… and I… I don’t want to toot my own flute here, but I do really like the Riddle Goblin/Sphynx date.
QUIN
His what?
WILLIAM
The Riddle Goblin/Sphynx date! You don’t remember that?
JV
(laughs)
HANNAH
Finc? What?
WILLIAM
That was at the end of the Swap! That was the…
HANNAH
Oh! Sphynx! Alright.
WILLIAM
(hissing)
Sphynx.
HANNAH
Thank you.
WILLIAM
This is another Kalen/Caleb thing, this happened in the last one!
HANNAH
(laughs)
Oh, yes. Yes. No, I also liked that one. It was a… It was a dumb idea and you all made it work!
WILLIAM
(laughs)
There are too many little moments to go through, but they are mostly covered in all my favorite episodes so, where there any particular moments or scenes that you guys just loved doing or saying or being a part of?
QUIN
I mean, JV as Knowles saying “work smarter not harder” has literally just become my mantra when I’m doing stuff at work?
JV
(chuckles)
QUIN
Because, you know, I… I have anxiety, so I overthink everything, and then I just hear JV in the back of my head going “smarter not harder, smarter not harder”. And I’m like right. Yes, so…
WILLIAM
JV, you’ve been an inspiration!
CALEB
Yay!
HANNAH
Inn Between, changing lives.
JV
Oh, I love it.
(clicks tongue)
I think there was one in… if I remember where it was… Literally going back and looking for it, trying to find where it was. It was, I believe at the end of… Yeah, it was towards the end of the first one, the first one of the fourth season. There was just a…
(chuckles)
It was… It was actually in the sort of the end bit, with Sadiyah and Tessa, I enjoyed just that entire exchange at the end of it?
WILLIAM
Yeah!
JV
Because it was just… I believe, there’s annotated bit where it says: “She’s so mysterious”.
(through laughter)
And I just… yeah, no, that’s exactly it, I enjoy the mischievousness of that whole exchange. It’s real fun.
HANNAH
You and Arrianna have a wonderful mutual fanclub that I just really appreciate.
JV
Oh, I… I love her so much. She’s so good.
WILLIAM
(laughs)
HANNAH
You worked incredibly well together.
WILLIAM
Tell me, Caleb, do you have a favorite moment?
CALEB
I was trying to remember… I can’t remember if this was a take where, like, I changed the… uhm… the tone that I was using with the line, but it was something about Castor recommending Zara some, like… smut books?
Laughter.
QUIN
Yeah.
WILLIAM
Oh, yeah!
QUIN
Demons I Have Known?
CALEB
Yes.
HANNAH
Yeah, Demon Princes I Have Known!
CALEB
Yeah, yeah! I… always think about that.
(laughs)
Just the fact that Castor owns these…And has been toting them around the entire continent, like, thought these were important enough to not leave behind on this adventure!
HANNAH
I just want to point out that you… you all decided it was smut! That was not the intention!
(laughs)
WILLIAM
Going on a little trip!
CALEB
Well, I don’t remember how it came about, I just remember the fact that it happened!
ARRIANNA
Yeah!
HANNAH
It was Lucy! It’s always Lucy!
CALEB
Of course it was Lucy!
WILLIAM
Yeah, it’s always Lucy!
JV
Oh god… To that end, also, all of 4.11? Just all of 4.11?
HANNAH
The Gem?
JV
Which I think, actually, was my favorite episode now that I think about it.
QUIN
Ooh, yeah!
WILLIAM
I don’t remember them by numbers, someone help me out here.
HANNAH
Oh no, that’s… Oh, that’s The Travel Game!
JV
The Potion!
HANNAH
Oh, The Potion!
WILLIAM
Oh, The Potion! Yeah!
HANNAH
I forgot about how many episodes there were in this season. I was much better at remembering which episode was which in previous reason, because there were fewer episodes to remember.
QUIN
We’ve all slipped since then.
KATHERINE
(laughs)
JV
Fair.
HANNAH
Oh my gosh, yes. The Potion is extremely good.
CALEB
Yeah.
JV
Very much so.
HANNAH
I had that idea to do The Potion for the previous group and it just honestly did not… It didn’t work as well? The circle of crushes wasn’t nearly as funny in that one.
JV
(amused)
It was just… wild. Just so wild… just wild as a thing, and then just the, I don’t know, I… I enjoyed the premise of it and how it also just wind up working out. It was very fun. And it was just very fun to do that with everyone.
HANNAH
Because you all are so good!
JV
I liked it a lot! It was real fun to play with you all in that one!
CALEB
(laughs)
JV
Yeah.
WILLIAM
I do just want to say, Hannah, you are very good at finding just fun concepts and throwing them at characters in very interesting ways.
QUIN
Mhm.
HANNAH
I wish I was better at finding fun concepts, because then maybe I wouldn’t have so much trouble writing season five!
CALEB
(chuckles)
WILLIAM
I do want to say that the end… Let’s see, second-to-last of season two, and, you’re going to have to help me out here, but I remember just meeting Jicama and the Fae Queen was a very cool moment and I thought that was very, very fun.
I do remember that was the first time we had cast for, you know, our external characters, our oneshot characters kind of thing. It was very exciting to see them in place. Which set a fun precedent for, you know, seasons three and four, when we get this broad group of people from all over the world bringing some really cool voices to the table.
HANNAH
Yeah, that’s true. I’m really glad we ended up doing that before season three when we had to go all virtual.
WILLIAM
Mm. It was a great set up, we were mighty fortunate in that regard.
HANNAH
Oh, yes. Yes, indeed.
WILLIAM
Mhm. Kira, do you have a favorite moment?
KIRA
Yeah. I mean, it’s kind of a… Maybe a too easy one but… realizing that Tode can talk to the Inn?
HANNAH
Yay!
KIRA
That he can understand the Inn.
JV
That was a brilliant moment. Oh…
KIRA
It’s so good! I tear up a little bit just thinking about it.
HANNAH
I do also! And I wrote it!
QUIN
It’s just one of those moments where it’s like… It’s so simple and he says it so… flatly and plainly and then it just, like, it hits you right in the middle of your soul.
KIRA
And it’s not drawn out! It’s just… That’s just how it is. A little tag at the end, and then… ah, it’s so good.
WILLIAM
That’s what’s most valuable about Tode. Just plainly saying things that are so very good and profound.
QUIN
Mhm.
KIRA
Yeah.
WILLIAM
I think that only leaves… Katherine, perhaps? Katherine, have you said yours?
KATHERINE
No, I’ve been desperately scrolling this whole time, trying to find something.
Mouse scroll.
Laughter.
KATHERINE
I think… I mean, I… back up everybody’s picks. I think specifically really like the ending for both groups, so the end of season two and season four, and the differences in how they plan on going forward. I got really emotional at the end of four.
QUIN
Aw.
KATHERINE
When they realize that they don’t have to part ways. You don’t have to, you know, leave your group. I just liked the differences between those two endings.
WILLIAM
Just so cute, all of those moments.
HANNAH
This is a question for… from Ellie. “Actors, what do you like best about your characters?”
JV
(laughs)
I like that… I like that Knowles is fine unless there’s a very, I guess, understandable wrench thrown into everything and just… falls apart. Just unravels entirely. Just fully…
HANNAH
(laughs)
QUIN
A highly specific Achilles heel.
CALEB
Mhm. Yeah.
JV
Yeah, just… unless you can’t predict how the universe works, and then… everything’s bad, just for a very long time. Everything falls apart then.
Which, well, is fitting because anxiety, and also… And not being able to control how the world overall works and is going to respond to, you know, your prompting and all of that.
It’s… it’s difficult. It’s difficult to sort of manage! So, in those moments, it’s fun to sort of… I don’t know, it’s fun to sort of reflect that in those moments and… and…
I don’t know, I just liked… I liked playing them a lot. It was real fun, the whole thing, but that specifically was a… was a real joy in the fourth season.
KIRA
Aw.
WILLIAM
I do love how you touched upon the point that Knowles is extremely stable and reliable unless the very rules of the universe fall apart. Which they do.
HANNAH
(laughs)
JV
Mhm.
CALEB
Which is super fair, honestly.
WILLIAM
Yeah!
JV
Mhm.
KIRA
Hashtag same.
JV
Yeah. Yeah.
QUIN
It is, as the kids say, “a mood.”
KIRA
Hm.
WILLIAM
(laughs)
So, what do you think, Quin? What’s notable about Zara? What’s so special about Zara to you?
QUIN
Uh… everything? I love her so much.
I think the biggest thing for me is how straightforward she is? Because I… am not? By my nature, I tend to be sort of an… an awkward people pleaser? I’m not really good at calling people out on their… their nonsense, and she’s just like, “Uh uh, we’re not doing this. I’m too tired and too old, and you’re pissing me off.”
Please just… “Please stop” without the please.
(laughs)
And, you know, she does really care about people? Which I feel like, as she’s written, that’s a really good… balance? I feel like some writers would have had her just be mean or be like… a thin veneer of mean on top of a. you know, heart of gold, and the heart of gold and the mean is an exact fifty-fifty concentration in Zara.
(laughs)
She loves you, but she’s also going to punch you in the face if you piss her off! I just… I like how she’s written, and I like that she is mean to people who need to be… mean to.
She’s… She’s not going to put up with your nonsense and… she may also get in a barfight with wizards! Or with, you know, frat boy wizards or get utterly dragged for filth by a psychic carnie.
CALEB
Mhm!
QUIN
But she’s going to stay true to herself no matter what.
WILLIAM
I mean who hasn’t been dragged by a psychic carnie?
HANNAH
(laughing)
Who among us?
QUIN
Yeah, I know. It’s pretty universal, I think.
CALEB
(dismissive)
Eh, I don’t really get out of the house much, so…
Laughter.
JV
I’m genuinely trying to think back to see like… I don’t know, even when I did do the light amount of circus performing, did that happen? It didn’t. But then…
(laughs)
I don’t know, I don’t interact with psychics that often!
CALEB
Ow!
HANNAH
Okay but wait. You were doing circus performing. You were one of them. They wouldn’t drag you.
CALEB
Yes.
JV
(dubious)
Uh. Mm…
HANNAH
(laughs)
JV
But, wouldn’t they?
WILLIAM
(laughs)
JV
Wouldn’t we? We likely would, but you know… that was…
WILLIAM
Hannah, you know how it works in college arts!
CALEB
After all, they’re still performers!
QUIN
(laughs)
HANNAH
Theatre kids!
WILLIAM
Well, okay. Kira, have you been dragged by a carnie? And also, what is your favorite thing about your character?
CALEB
(laughs)
QUIN
(giggles)
KIRA
I have not been dragged by a carnie, more’s the pity. I think what I like about Cybilene is that she is… a unique adventuring type which is the mom friend.
You know, incredibly old, incredibly competent, and just very stable. Oddly. Which, you know, you don’t really find in adventuring crews.
(laughs)
So, I like… I like her being a very competent, capable mom… mom friend adventurer.
HANNAH
Do you want to know something about Cybilene?
WILLIAM
Aw.
KIRA
Always.
HANNAH
My original thought about this character is that she had a husband who went with her adventuring.
KIRA
Oh no!
WILLIAM
Aw!
CALEB
(softly)
Oh no.
KIRA
(crying noises)
That’s very sad…
HANNAH
It just didn’t work with the thing I was going for? Because then it would be like… I was… I was trying to hit Tode with the enormity of “now you have a whole family.”
KIRA
Yeah.
HANNAH
But, honestly, I didn’t need to do that because the way that the character ended up, he settled very nicely into this whole idea, so.
KIRA
See, I thought you were just insinuating that she did have a husband, but he is gone now.
HANNAH
Oh, no, no! I didn’t kill off her husband!
Laughter.
HANNAH
He’s never existed, it’s fine!
KIRA
Okay, that’s fine then. I won’t be as sad then.
(laughs)
WILLIAM
I absolutely love this idea of couples adventuring now.
HANNAH
(laughs)
QUIN
It got patched out in the beta version.
Laughter.
HANNAH
If you’re doing dating right, that’s all dating is. It’s couples adventuring.
KIRA
Aw, yeah.
WILLIAM
Hey, it kind of is! Just a little bit uh… fewer swords, and what not.
HANNAH
(amused)
I mean, if you’re doing it right. Not necessarily.
WILLIAM
Ah, that’s a good point. Fewer goblins, I’d say.
HANNAH
That’s fair.
WILLIAM
Simply out of the constraints of our universe.
JV
Well… No, just kidding.
(chuckles)
WILLIAM
I mean, I don’t know. If you bring your kid along. Is a child considered a goblin? Depends on how well behaved he is!
CALEB
Sometimes!
JV
I don’t know what they’re talking about. There are goblins everywhere, it’s fine.
WILLIAM
Caleb, what does Castor mean to you?
CALEB
I love Castor for a variety of reasons… One of them is that I love high-int-low-wisdom characters as a general rule.
QUIN
Yes.
CALEB
I love that this academic made a pact with the demon just… no fucking forethought, nothing. Just… “Okay, we’re doing this now.”
I love it. I love it. It’s so stupid, I love it.
I also love characters whose general character starts off very secretive and not wanting to get involved with other people and just very paranoid, and then starts to open up and, you know, create closer bonds with people. It’s a nice little throughline and it’s something that I always put into the tabletop characters that I play so, you know.
Good that it’s there.
HANNAH
Aw. I did it.
CALEB
(chuckles)
WILLIAM
You did it, Hannah. And speaking of Hannah, my dear sister. I have a feeling how you’ll answer this but let us not forget our dear host to our adventurers, Tessa.
What do you love so much about her?
HANNAH
Oh. I didn’t expect this to be turned on me!
CALEB
(laughs)
WILLIAM
Well, of course! She… She’s… pivotal!
HANNAH
I don’t think of myself as an actor. What I do is barely acting because Tessa is just me, but older.
WILLIAM
Called it!
HANNAH
So, I don’t know! You’re asking me what I like about myself which is several things I would say!
KIRA
(chuckles)
WILLIAM
(laughs)
CALEB
(teasing)
And they are?
HANNAH
(cackles)
WILLIAM
Hannah, it’s time to build your self-esteem with the crew. Please, carry on.
HANNAH
Okay. I like that… her whole goal is hospitality. You know, I think, Tessa is a little… she’s crusty about it because she’s been doing it for decades, but her whole… life goal is to make people feel at home, and to make a space where people feel at home, and the Inn kind of has the same goal along with that. It just is able to do that in a more direct way because it is magic.
I think that’s what I like most and that’s what I want most for myself in the future, it’s to make these spaces of hospitality.
So, yeah!
WILLIAM
That’s sweet as peaches there, Hannah!
CALEB
Hannah, if I may, can I ask…?
HANNAH
Mm?
CALEB
Sorry, if I may, can I ask a question of you?
HANNAH
Yeah, sure!
WILLIAM
Ooh!
CALEB
How long has Tessa known the Inn?
HANNAH
Ooh, that’s a very good question!
In the canon that lives in my head, Tessa has known the Inn… Okay so, Tessa’s backstory goes like this:
She was an orphan. She grew up all alone. She grew up in a town called Splitriver and, like many people who have traumatic childhoods, hates that town, hates it so much. And… but part of being in that orphanage in Splitriver, was she was in the next town over from the Castle Whitetower, which means occasionally they’d bring the orphans over for a Christmas or something.
And while she was in the town outside Castle Whitetower, she saw the Inn which was, at the time, abandoned. It was the moldering remains of a place called The Giggling Crane. And she decided that, when she got out of the orphanage, if no one had claimed the Inn, it would be hers.
And the Inn had been alone for a long time, and once it realized it was being an inn again, it was like, “Oh, you’re my new person! Okay, cool!”
CALEB
I did not know that there was so much depth! I love that!
HANNAH
All of the characters have this much depth!
(laughing)
You want to know about Reevis? Like, do you want to know about freaking… I’m trying to think someone in seasons three and four with that much backstory… I don’t know. Actually, this is how Max happened!
WILLIAM
Marvolo, maybe?
HANNAH
What?
WILLIAM
Marvolo, maybe? I bet there’s a cool story there!
HANNAH
Do you mean Confoundo, because Marvolo is a character from Twelfth Night!
WILLIAM
Oh, sorry! What the heck was I thinking?
(boisterous laughter)
Confoundo!
JV
(laughs)
This is fine.
HANNAH
Confoundo? Uh, not as much. Except to say that they were a carnie who realized they had psychic powers but didn’t necessarily know how to apply them in a way that would make any more money than they were making at the carnival!
CALEB
Oh, buddy.
HANNAH
But, yeah! No, all of the characters have this much backstory!
I think a lot about the backstory of the current rulers of the Human Kingdom, and that whole royal family. I think a lot about the backstory of… Ah! Actually, actually, the salesman! From season two. I think about him all the freaking time.
Anyway, suffice to say, if there’s a side character, chances are there’s a backstory for them, if for no other reason than I need to know why they act how they act. So, yeah!
CALEB
Fair enough!
WILLIAM
I love the way your brain works, Hannah.
HANNAH
Thank you! This is my version of the Tolkien worldbuilding. I don’t make conlangs or write history books, I just make backstories.
(laughs)
WILLIAM
Alright, so, everyone listening at home, please vote on your phones to see if I mispronounce this but… From Tali: “Katherine, how long does it take to edit an episode?”
KATHERINE
That… that strongly depends on the length and amount of characters? But…
(laughs)
I haven’t timed it in a really long time. It probably takes like six hours, I think? Give or take.
JV
That’s… wildly efficient.
WILLIAM
Let me expand on that, what was the longest one to edit?
CALEB
Ooh.
KATHERINE
There was… I think there was one in season four that was like twenty minutes long? I don’t remember.
HANNAH
Oh, that would be the Luck Redux, yes.
JV
Yeah.
WILLIAM
Ah!
KATHERINE
That one took quite a while. And the episode Hannah was talking about at the beginning of this session where there was like nine characters.
CALEB
Mm.
KATHERINE
That would take a while, too. So yeah, it’s a give or take, but I would say about six hours.
CALEB
Jeez.
WILLIAM
Mm. Okay! Six hours well-spent, though. Of course.
HANNAH
You know…
JV
That’s… I’ll be honest, that’s wildly efficient. Like, very, very… That’s very good in terms of amount of time.
CALEB
Mhm.
JV
Like, I commend you for that. I’ve… I’ve… Hm. There’ve been some that have taken me a full twenty-four hours to do just overall so that’s… that’s great. That’s wonderful.
(laughs)
CALEB
Mhm!
JV
You’re doing good!
KATHERINE
It’s hard to time because I split up… everything as I’m focusing. So, I do split up everything over the course of multiple days, it’s kind of how… It’s hard to time it, but.
JV
Yeah, same here.
WILLIAM
Yeah, yeah.
HANNAH
Even with your wildly efficient ways, we do not pay you enough, so please become a patron at patreon.com/thegoblinshead.
Laughter.
WILLIAM
Please make sure these hours are well-spent!
HANNAH
Okay, I have a question from Anne: “If you could do a crossover with any podcast, what would it be and any general plot ideas?”
WILLIAM
Serial.
HANNAH
What?
WILLIAM
Yeah, murd… Let’s… Let’s… A true cri… I don’t know.
HANNAH
(laughing)
What are you saying?
WILLIAM
Sorry! Forget I said anything! I mean, I think them doing a crossover would just be one of us literal real life cast members being murdered, so.
HANNAH
(cackles)
JV
Yeah, that would be not great. That’s not ideal.
QUIN
One, two, three. Not it?
HANNAH
Yeah, if you… If you get Serial paying attention to us, then I actually don’t want that attention!
WILLIAM
(laughs)
JV
Absolutely not.
CALEB
I’d like to put in a disclaimer here. Serial, you don’t get to put your grubby little hands on… this.
QUIN
Stay out of this!
JV
Absolutely not.
HANNAH
You want to do a promo for us on your show? We’ll talk. But I won’t do it for yours because everyone knows you.
JV
Mhm.
HANNAH
You will not gain any new listeners, there are none for you to gain!
JV
(laughs)
WILLIAM
Also, if there’s a killer on the loose, I feel like my odds are low. I’m very conspicuous.
JV
That’s… I mean…
WILLIAM
Also, I’m large so I’m an easy target.
HANNAH
You run fast, though!
WILLIAM
I do not! Hannah, you’ve seen me run! I run like a three-legged buffalo! I run like a Bigfoot who’s had too many sandwiches.
JV
(laughs)
HANNAH
Alright, you make a good point! You just run faster than me.
WILLIAM
I can run for a while! But I can’t run fast!
HANNAH
(laughs)
JV
I think if I had to choose… though I’m kind of liking this idea of choosing a show that it doesn’t like fully seem like it makes sense to do that with? In terms of… I would love… I would love to… to do a crossover with this show but in that… the people who run or are on that show become actors on this one?
HANNAH
Hm!
JV
So, it’s less of a… Basically, the full group of people over at that one just wind up at this one. That would just be fun.
HANNAH
Okay! You know what? I see what you’re saying, and they totally did that, because Alba Salix had the two gals from Spirits on as librarians having a chat about ghosts. And also drinking. At the library.
WILLIAM
Ooh!
CALEB
(laughing)
JV
That is a perfect example of exactly what I was thinking.
HANNAH
Yes!
JV
That is almost exactly the kind of thing that I would like to do. That would be real fun.
I can’t at this moment…
I… I listen to a lot of podcasts. An insane number of podcasts. The number is less high than it previously has been when I’ve told people the number that I’m subscribed to, but it’s still wildly high.
HANNAH
That’s alright. You’re among friends, JV.
JV
Yeah, I literally just don’t remember because… the last time that…
(laughs)
The last time we recorded I had a fully different type of phone, so I switched them over to Apple and I… didn’t like that. Didn’t like that.
HANNAH
It’s a bad podcatcher.
JV
Yeah, this is not a good podcast… I mean, we’ll see if it’ll…
HANNAH
Back to the matter at hand, though.
JV
Yeah. I would have said Fun Fiction, except we’ve already had one of them, so I don’t… I don’t know.
HANNAH
That’s true! That would be Scottye, who plays Confoundo.
JV
Exactly. Yeah.
WILLIAM
And not Marvolo, I’ve learned!
CALEB
Mhm.
WILLIAM
Because I’m forgetful, and both names are fun!
HANNAH
(laughs)
I like the idea of Scottye coming though because…
I mean Tal has played… Tal Minear has played like two or three one-off full characters on this show and also Rion from Sidequesting, so… why not? I don’t know! Scotty can be on twice, I don’t mind!
WILLIAM
Why not? Kalen has been at least like three or four different characters, yeah.
HANNAH
Exactly! I kind of like the idea of having repeat actors, simply because the meta of this story is that it’s a Dungeons and Dragons game!
JV
(laughs)
It does make sense. It does make sense, but…
WILLIAM
Listen…
QUIN
The DM is going to run out of voices.
WILLIAM
Yeah, yeah!
HANNAH
Yes, exactly!
JV
I have a number on here of how many.
HANNAH
You don’t need a number.
JV
Oh boy…
(gasp)
HANNAH
Yeah, let’s… Let’s stick to the question.
WILLIAM
I’m curious… yeah!
JV
Ooh! Though I do have another one! The Beef and Dairy Network! That would be real fun!
QUIN
Oh my gosh!
WILLIAM
I was… thinking that, but I was almost afraid to say it!
JV
(laughing)
I… That would be really fun! I don’t know what that episode would be like! It would be really, really wild!
HANNAH
Honestly, I have no idea if that show is improvised or not? I can’t tell! And that’s kind of…
WILLIAM
It’s so hard to tell!
HANNAH
It’s probably improvised? Like, partially? I don’t know… Oh—! He’s a genius! I would work for… with him in a minute!
JV
Absolutely, oh my god!
HANNAH
I don’t… I also don’t know what that would be.
WILLIAM
I’m just… The phrase “minotaur beef” has come to my mind and…
HANNAH
(breathless laughter)
WILLIAM
(laughs)
There’s a lot to work with there!
CALEB
In what context? Because…
WILLIAM
I don’t know!
JV
Well…
CALEB
Well?
JV
I… I… Mm. I have affectionately referred to manatees as Sea Beef recently. Caribbean Sea Beef, specifically, for the…
CALEB
Mm.
JV
(laughs)
WILLIAM
Yeah, yeah!
JV
For the fans over near Florida. Those are Caribbean Sea Beef now. That’s what they’re… that’s what they’re called now. Don’t eat them, but they’re Caribbean Sea Beef.
HANNAH
Oh! They’re not endangered anymore! Didn’t you hear?
WILLIAM
Yeah! Now we’ll eat’em!
JV
Are they no longer endangered?
HANNAH
They are no longer endangered.
CALEB
Yeah, they’re no longer endangered.
WILLIAM
Yeah!
JV
I do not believe that… Like, what?
CALEB
No, straight up!
JV
I cannot believe that like that… No… It’s not that I don’t believe that that’s a fact. It’s that I don’t believe… I don’t believe them when they say that they’re no longer endangered?
HANNAH
Oh, I see.
JV
Protect the manatees. I love them very dearly, and they die very easily because they do not move a lot. Though famously…
WILLIAM
(laughs)
HANNAH
(laughing)
So, you’re saying that we should not partake on the Caribbean Sea Beef.
JV
Yes, no! Don’t—don’t do that at all!
Massachusetts has listed… has them on our website because one rogue one came up from Florida multiple years in a row. I don’t know why, it just was one of them, so they have them as a thing that our state can house.
Anyway, sorry, that’s unrelated to anything, I just love that as a fact.
WILLIAM
Yeah, I’d just say, I think you can believe them unless it says: “No longer endangered. Brought to you by The Sea Beef Council.”
QUIN
(laughs)
JV
Yeah.
WILLIAM
Yeah.
JV
I still say protect them regardless, but you know.
WILLIAM
Well, yeah, yeah! Because they’re adorable! Now, does anyone else have a good crossover before we carry on?
QUIN
Uhm…
CALEB
Yes. Oh!
QUIN
I was just thinking Kira had mentioned in the chat The Magnus Archives earlier? And I love me a horror comedy and the few and far between horror comedy episodes of The Magnus Archives that they had are some of my favorites. Just because… they get kind of heavy.
I just… I love the idea of the Archivist and his crew coming into the Inn Between universe and interacting with how D&D interacts with eldritch abominations and gods and… cursed artifacts and stuff like that. I think it’d be a fun sort of, “Wait, you do what with cursed amulets?”
Sort of… vibe between like… Especially if it was the Gang and the… Interacting with… Rosie specifically from the Crew or the entirety of the Gang interacting with the Archivist, him just being like, “You did what with what?”
I just think that would be really funny!
(laughs)
HANNAH
What I would not give to work with the Rusty Quill people, oh my gosh.
QUIN
Right? Oh my god. I would die.
HANNAH
Caleb, did you have something?
CALEB
Yes, so I’m not sure how this could work but I would love to see a crossover episode with… This is not an audio drama, this is a tabletop roleplay podcast, but it’s called Dames & Dragons and I love it.
QUIN
Ooh, yes!
CALEB
(laughing)
And I would love to see a crossover between these two shows! I think that that has a lot of comedic potential.
QUIN
(laughs)
Yes!
HANNAH
Dames & Dragons, I feel like… I haven’t listened to it yet. It’s one of those on the list, so I—
CALEB
I’m going to tell you now, it is straight up my favorite.
HANNAH
(gasp)
Okay!
CALEB
Like, out of all of the ones out there, it is my favorite.
HANNAH
This is great! I’ve been trying to get into these… the actual play universe more, and so… this will be a nice counterbalance to Dungeons and Daddies: Not A BDSM Podcast.
CALEB
That was going to be my original answer and then I searched through my podcast app, and I was like…
(whispers)
No, Dames and Dragons is better.
HANNAH
(laughs)
Both.
Yeah, go ahead and ask another question, my brother.
WILLIAM
Alright, I’m excited. From Anne, again: “If you could give one piece of advice to new podcasters doing what you do (voice acting, editing, directing, etcetera), what would it be?”
HANNAH
I know, Caleb and JV, you have both produced podcasts as well as acted in them, so I’m interested in your answers to this too.
JV
Mm…
Uhm… I guess advice-wise… Uhm, advice-wise it’s really just… Hm…
Try and figure out just generally how to… how to just do baseline editing before you start doing your project?
CALEB
Mm!
JV
So if there is any way to like…
(clears throat)
I guess a good… A good thing to, like, try to do… This is one of the things that, in retrospect, I wish I had done, but I didn’t do this. I just sort of dove in having… knowing minimal things of what actually to do, which led to numerous panic attacks, and I do not recommend that.
QUIN
Oh!
JV
However. One thing I do very frequently now is narrating for various shows. So, try just going through and narrating a… narrating a very short story, like just something that’s one to two pages long.
WILLIAM
Ooh!
JV
That has character dialogue in it as well as narration. Even if you don’t plan on using narration in anything that you do, it’s still helpful to know how to deal with that.
If you figure out how to edit something like that into something that sounds good and is workable and functional, and you’ve timed that and you can figure out how long it takes you to do that, you can then reasonably know how much time you might need to devote to something to put it all together and figuring out how to make it sound like a show that you enjoy listening to, basically.
So, taking all that, figuring ahead how to make it sound like something that you’d like listening to?
Do that before you actually go to your… to the project that you care the most about.
QUIN
(snorts)
JV
Do that with a thing that you don’t care all that much about but that you want to make sure sounds great, so that then…
And do that before you’ve recorded anything for the show that you actually want to do! Because then you will know what will work, what won’t work, what needs a retake, what doesn’t need a retake, all those other things. You’ll have at least a baseline of experience to work with when you go to do what you actually want to do.
HANNAH
That is such good advice!
WILLIAM
Stellar wisdom!
JV
Mm.
CALEB
I would add…
Before you record anything that you seriously intend to use… have your season written out ahead of time.
HANNAH
Oh my gosh, yes!
CALEB
(emphatically)
Don’t try to write the season while you are recording. It’s going to be a bad time for you and for everyone involved.
(laughs)
Trust me on this!
Second, I would say do not try to produce beyond your means. What does this mean? Don’t be afraid to ask for help with the things that you need to do. Producing a podcast is a lot of moving parts and a lot of responsibility, and if you need help with the social media, ask.
There is nothing to be gained if you do not ask for help.
HANNAH
Mhm.
CALEB
Along that train of thought, try not to burn yourself out. It’s real easy to burn yourself out, and if you do…
(firmly)
It’s okay.
It’s okay to put it down for… a few months, even a year, two years. It doesn’t matter! Don’t make up secret rules for yourself that you make yourself follow. It’s okay to just put a project down and let it breathe.
JV
Absolutely. Oh! One last thing which is… Before you start airing things, have it finished. And, to that end, like, when… If you’re going to start promoting the thing and you…
I would recommend that, promoting the thing, when you have a date already? And preferably maybe about a month before? Maybe roughly around there? Just so that the waiting time is not too long so that people forget that it’s coming.
(laughing)
Or something like that.
Also, just, knowing that you have it all done will make the actual airing of the project itself go a lot smoother. You won’t have to worry about any last-minute things that need to get changed during the actual airing of the thing, so that way your show can air in a consistent way.
It’s just… It’s a lot easier to know that the thing is fully done, that you took however much you needed for that. You have it done; everything is sorted; that’s all fine and it’s just ready to go for a particular date and the airdate will be consistent throughout that whole thing.
HANNAH
You all are so smart. Where were you three years ago?
WILLIAM
(laughs)
JV
At this point I’ve done podcasting for, like, since I want to say 2017.
That is the one… That’s the one piece of anything that I… Unless it’s the newest show that I decided randomly to do just on a whim because I like ranting about movies and whatever. That’s the only one I don’t have everything done ahead of time for because, again, that recording process, well, like everything, is ongoing is just… It’s so stressful. It’s so stressful.
HANNAH
Mm.
JV
Even just banking a few ahead in case of a disaster is so stressful.
HANNAH
Also, so much easier to frigging schedule people in like a couple months’ time than it is over the course of a year?
JV
Absolutely.
HANNAH
I find it so stressful that I cram it all into one chunk of the year! And now we’re all scheduled and I know your and it’s fine! It’s fine!
JV
Exactly.
HANNAH
Mhm. Kira, you have been acting in many podcasts for a while. Do you have advice for people who want to become voice actors?
KIRA
Yeah, I was going to say, I’ve been thinking about it, because when I started podcast acting, I was in one place and position in my life and career and now I’m in a different place and position and career.
I guess my advice would be, especially if you’re like me and you have the ADHD…
HANNAH
(laughs)
KIRA
(continued)
… learn how to schedule stuff and budget time, and budget… And recognize that you can’t just log on five minutes before because if there’s going to be a, you know, a technical issue, there’s going to be a technical issue, so.
Now I work a full-time job, so I can’t voice act as much as I… I used to, and that makes me very sad, and every time an audition passes, I’m like, “No!”
HANNAH
(laughs)
KIRA
But it’s also because I’m not budgeting that time. I’m not scheduling that time.
HANNAH
Mhm.
KIRA
So, I guess, something I would say is –unless you’re going to dedicate yourself to it as a full-time thing and you just have, I don’t know, a hundred million dollars in the bank and you can just do that— budget time.
Understand that, you know, there’s a lot… It is going to take a lot of time, even just the recording aspect of it, even if you’re not the one doing any editing or anything like that. Getting the take that you’re happy with… it’s going to take so much time. And auditioning and getting out, you know, putting your name out there… It’s a lot of the same as when I used to do musical theatre, too, but…
Yeah, I guess my advice in a nutshell would be plan what… Get… Hm…
Figure out how much of your life you can dedicate to it and make that commitment. Be committed to that for sure, but also recognize that it is going to take a lot of time whether you’re being paid or not.
JV
That is so real. Oh god.
KIRA
So, so, yeah.
(softly)
That’d be my advice.
Don’t be so hard on yourself if, like me, life is getting in the way, and you can’t do it as much as you used to and… yeah.
QUIN
So wise.
KIRA
(laughs)
JV
That is the realest… the absolute realest thing.
(laughs)
Time management becomes real complicated when you have to balance all of the rest of… all of life and also doing this thing that is both fun and fulfilling and also actual work.
HANNAH
Yup!
JV
And also, a reminder to everyone to treat voice acting as actual legit work because it is.
HANNAH
For real. Treat voice acting as work. Treat audio editing as work. The people, like… I see job listings sometimes for Sound Designers that are just insulting. It’s… it’s ridiculous.
JV
Mhm.
HANNAH
I think my advice is… make it worth it for people even if you can’t pay them?
(laughing)
With Katherine, before we had a Patreon up and running, we worked out a thing where it was an independent study to be my producer, so there was college credit involved. Like, free college credit.
With, you know, the season one actors, I had no money, I was in grad school, but they all thought it was an interesting project and, to them, it was worth it to be involved, and you know… Accordingly, I tried not to ask them for more than they were willing to give because, you know, there’s only so much you can ask for a volunteer position. And then…
CALEB
That’s a big one. Yeah.
HANNAH
Yeah! So, now that, you know, we’re doing a little bit of crowdfunding and I can occasionally pay people, the point is to make things worth it to folks. Also, don’t go into it for the money because…
(laughs)
There is none.
CALEB
Ain’t no money here! Mm-mm!
WILLIAM
What?
HANNAH
Nope.
WILLIAM
(exaggerated outrage)
You said the check was in the mail!
HANNAH
(laughs)
WILLIAM
You said that three years ago!
HANNAH
I did say that.
QUIN
Mm?
WILLIAM
I can tell you that, at least for me, it was worth it just because I enjoy doing this with Hannah, and I like supporting her in this.
HANNAH
Yay! So nice!
WILLIAM
If I have any two cents to add at the very least as, I guess, the least podcast-y person among us but as also just kind of a general behind-the-scenes guy just…
Be supportive, be helpful and, you know, look out for the other folks as much as you can.
Also, if you have a big crew and they’re all having a good time, make sure you have at least one person who can say, “We’re all having a good time, but let’s get back into the talking!”
QUIN
Yeah.
HANNAH
(amused)
Thank you, William, for being that person.
WILLIAM
I like to be that person!
JV
Very crucial. I feel slightly dragged, but very crucial.
Laughter.
QUIN
Yeah, it’s kind of like…
JV
It’s justified. It’s a justified dragging. I’m sorry.
HANNAH
This is… Honestly, this is why he’s going to be an excellent middle school teacher!
WILLIAM
Oh, yeah!
CALEB
Yep!
JV
I do that a lot.
HANNAH
Do you have advice, Katherine?
KATHERINE
Ah, sure. I was going to say that… If you’re first timing it, and you have an… opportunity come up, just take it.
Because if…
(laughs)
Hannah and I met in a class that I took, and she walked in was like, “I need help.” Which kind of brings it back to Caleb’s point of asking for help. And I wasn’t sure because I’m an anxious and nervous and scared person.
HANNAH
(chuckles)
KATHERINE
But I reached out! And here we are.
So, things aren’t going to happen for you if you don’t take opportunities as they come.
QUIN
Aw, that’s such good advice!
WILLIAM
Excellent! Now, Quin, one of our… one of our flagship actors for these last couple seasons? Tell me, what do you have out there for the actors?
HANNAH
What is your wisdom?
QUIN
Oh, no pressure.
I mean, this is my first time doing anything like this, so… I mean, first of all, find a project that you believe in. If you see something and you’re coming into… Like, I was coming into season three of this, so when I saw the posting I was like, “Oh, that sounds fun! I’ll listen to this show!”
And mainlined it in like a week at work.
HANNAH
(laughs)
QUIN
I just had it on in the background while I was doing stuff at work and I was like…
(emphatically, faux-desperate)
“I need to be part of this, please, dear God!”
And, I mean, also just like… go for it? Especially in your auditions. Just throw everything at the wall, see what sticks. If nothing sticks… throw it at another wall.
HANNAH
(laughs)
QUIN
(laughing)
You know?
One of my audition takes, which I think I still have it on my other computer, I hope I do, because it was funny. It was… Because of the vibe of the audition line for… for Zara was basically her reading somebody for thinking that she didn’t know what she was talking about, then I was like…
This reminds me of Legally Blonde. I’m going to do evil Elle Woods!
Laughter.
CALEB
(frightened)
What the fuck?
QUIN
There is on my computer a file labelled “Valley Girl Zara.”
HANNAH
(delighted)
Yay!
QUIN
And that wasn’t what we went with? But it was incredibly fun to do, it was just like, “I’m going to do this. I’m going to see if they want this, and if they don’t, I’ve got another one that’s just like my natural voice, and that will go for that.”
So, that’s what I always tell everyone in the Discord, when Hannah posted for the auditions, I was like… “Just… just go for it.”
If you don’t think that you will fit, or you don’t think that you have the right voice or whatever, just go for it. Because your ideas may not be the director’s ideas, but they may decide that your idea is something that they want instead.
HANNAH
Mhm.
QUIN
If you have a good director, they’re going to pick the one that they vibe with the ideas of the best, rather than the one that just fits into their narrow little box of “I want this character to do X, Y, Z.” Like, if you can do X, Y, Z and bring something… personal, that’s going to really vibe with the director, so just…
Go for it.
HANNAH
That’s true!
QUIN
And don’t be self-conscious. That was my biggest problem in season three is I just kept… I was too self-conscious about a lot of things. You’re an actor, act. Good.
HANNAH
That was the season where I was like, “No, meaner.”
QUIN
Yeah!
You can hear…
WILLIAM
I think it was a freaking thing you and I said. Just, “Meaner! Meaner!”
QUIN
When we were recording the… in between the two takes that we did for the bonus episode, you were like, “You can go meaner. If you want to, you can go meaner.”
I think it’s on the blooper reel, I think I said something to the effect of, “I think all my notes are just going to be: be a bigger bitch.”
HANNAH
(laughing)
That’s right!
QUIN
And that’s another piece of advice. If you’re playing a mean character, be mean. You’re acting with adults. Don’t be worried that somebody is going to take it personally because it is not you saying it to them, it is your character.
HANNAH
Honestly, if I had an actor who took that kind of thing personally, I probably would not work with them.
QUIN
Yeah.
JV
(amused)
Ruin people’s lives emotionally for short periods of time, it’s fine!
Laughter.
JV
And then compartmentalize, and then go to therapy after, it’s okay!
KIRA
It’s fiction!
CALEB
It’s fiction!
HANNAH
Yeah, no, you all have been… You guys have been such pros that I never… I never worry about that with you guys because I trust that you guys know what you’re doing and that you know it’s fiction.
(laughs)
JV
My main problem is that I will laugh…
WILLIAM
I’m just imagining this weird alternate dimension where we’re all just easily affected by what our fictional characters say.
CALEB
Mm!
QUIN
(laughs)
JV
(laughing)
My main issue is that I will fully laugh when someone drags my character. Because it’s genuinely funny to me!
WILLIAM
(laughs)
JV
Because it… Genuinely funny to me and also being like, whoof, wow. Okay, I shouldn’t be taking it personally, but I am a little bit, because I relate to this particular aspect, and this does fit. You’re not wrong, and that’s why I’m…
(laughs)
… emotionally taking it this way, but it’s fine and I’m going to laugh about it, because we’re all friends here anyway!
HANNAH
Don’t tell her this! She’ll get all self-conscious about hurting your feelings, JV!
JV
No, no, no, no, no! It’s fine! We’re all friends here! You hurt my feelings? That’s fine, it’s good, yes!
Laughter.
QUIN
You channel… You channel that feeling into your performance! You channel it!
JV
Exactly! Exactly!
QUIN
You take that “okay, you didn’t need to put it that way, you’re right, but you didn’t need to put it that way” and go with it.
HANNAH
This is a… this is a question from Mourin: “Everyone, if you could choose anybody in the world to guest star in this show, who would it be and what sort of character would they play?”
WILLIAM
Literally anyone?
HANNAH
Literally anyone. I will tell you a short anecdote, I had this experience for another show. Okay, this is a show I’m doing with people who are semi-professional and know how to do things like contact agents, and one of them was like, “What if we just got David Tennant?”
And I’m like, “Oh my gosh, what if we got David Tennant, though?”
So, we relished in that image for a while and then the fourth producer who is a professional in every sense of the word and not, like, a freelancer, she’s like, “You know his day rate is like ten thousand pounds a day, right? You know that, right?”
And we’re like, “Oh! Okay, so that’s not practical!”
We were being, we were being serious… She was like, “You guys are joking, right?”
So, anyway, all of this to say, it would be someone expensive because this is fantasy and I get to do what I want.
So, I don’t know, Lizzo.
CALEB
Oh, fuck yeah, actually.
WILLIAM
I see.
HANNAH
She has really good comedic timing.
JV
I love that.
CALEB
Yeah!
WILLIAM
“Who is Lizzo?” Googling Lizzo.
Typing.
CALEB
Boy. Don’t google anything! Just watch her show!
JV
Oh my god. Oh, you beautiful soul.
WILLIAM
“Lizzo…” I’ve seen a TV show of her?
HANNAH
(laughing)
JV
You precious bean, I love that how you have to google Lizzo right now. That makes me… That makes me very… That makes me laugh a lot.
QUIN
Bless your face.
JV
I will remember this forever. That’s all. Anyway.
CALEB
I hope you figure it out, William.
HANNAH
I would… I would cast Lizzo as some kind of goddess or queen, probably?
JV
Naturally.
HANNAH
But like in a fun way, not in a…
QUIN
She would be such a good raven queen.
HANNAH
(excitedly)
She would be such a good raven queen! Quin, you’re so genius!
CALEB
Oooh.
JV
Mm.
QUIN
Oh my god. That just came to me. You said “goddess”, I was like, “Raven Queen.”
HANNAH
(laughs)
Pause.
WILLIAM
Okay, I have a vague knowledge of who she is now. Sweet.
CALEB
Proud of you.
WILLIAM
Cool.
JV
I want Lindsay Lohan from 2003.
HANNAH
(laughs)
Okay, alright, we did say anyone.
CALEB
Okay… Alright.
JV
Lindsay Lohan…
KIRA
And you want to do a Parent Trap episode of the show?
WILLIAM
Yes!
JV
No because that was earlier. That was ’99.
KIRA
That was.
WILLIAM
And we already kind of did that, we just didn’t Parent Trap.
CALEB
Damn, JV knows… JV knows… Lindsay Lohan more.
JV
That was way earlier! That was her Disney era. This is post-Disney, slightly.
KIRA
Mean Girls era, right?
QUIN
Jesus Christ.
JV
Exactly, this is the Mean Girls era. And I kind of… I don’t know what I want her to play, but I know she could do pretty much anything and I would love it. I just… I don’t know what it would be, but I’d enjoy whatever it would be.
HANNAH
What’s nice about Lindsay Lohan circa ’03 is that I know she can do serious, so I’d put her in a main character.
JV
Yeah.
HANNAH
There is a role next season of a fight-y character who has a tragic backstory, as is the wont of this show, and I would cast her as that! Yeah.
JV
I could do— that would work. That would work—
WILLIAM
Yeah!
HANNAH
Also, I want to give her an axe!
JV
Yeah—oh my god.
QUIN
Give Lindsay an axe, 2k22.
WILLIAM
Who hasn’t looked at Lindsay Lohan and thought, “let’s give this woman an axe?”
JV
Honestly? I feel like her life might have gone smoother and better if at some point early on she was like, one, trained to fight for just… some reason, just whatever reason just… fight training had to happen for a role.
HANNAH
So, we’re saying that we should give her an axe?
JV
Yeah! If we had given Lindsay Lohan an axe in 2003, everything would have gone better for her.
(through laughter)
So, personally, I… I will stand by that. I genuinely actually think that that’s true.
WILLIAM
I mean… I mean, she did have swords in Parent Trap, so we’ve just got to upgrade that a little bit and then we’re on the right track.
HANNAH
Yeah!
JV
That’s true. That’s true.
HANNAH
I like this alternate history we’re building.
JV
Yes!
HANNAH
I want to hear from someone else.
(dramatically)
Give me more fan casts!
WILLIAM
I mean, I want Weird Al Yankovic, but that’s because I want to meet Weird Al Yankovic. Can he be the Minotaur?
HANNAH
Yes, he can be the Minotaur.
WILLIAM
Alright! Cool, deal! Now, we call him.
HANNAH
In the crossover episode with Beef and Dairy Network, he can play the Minotaur and… I don’t know, someone else will play someone who wants to eat him.
It’ll be great!
WILLIAM
Caleb, who do we need in the show? Besides Lindsay Lohan and Weird Al Yankovic?
CALEB
I would love to see Natasha Demetriou in this show setting.
HANNAH
(gasp)
WILLIAM
There I am again, googling name.
CALEB
For those who do not know, she plays Nadja in What We Do In The Shadows, the Hulu show.
QUIN
Yes!
HANNAH
Oh my gosh! She’s so cool! I would love… Yes, yes! Yes.
CALEB
Yeah, her comedic timing also is… fucking flawless honestly.
HANNAH
I want to know what she does as not a vampire.
CALEB
I… don’t know…
Pause.
HANNAH
Natasha, you’re now a… tiny little fairy. Go nuts.
WILLIAM
Oooh.
CALEB
Like an aggro one?
HANNAH
Yeah, absolutely!
CALEB
I think she would do a really good mean fairy, a la Tinker Bell.
HANNAH
(laughing)
Yeah!
WILLIAM
What other big names can we attract to our medium-sized show?
HANNAH
I can’t… I… Thing… No.
WILLIAM
Or just any names!
HANNAH
I don’t have those, William! I don’t have The Big Names! I have these names who I love, who are not movie stars, but they are my stars.
WILLIAM
Actually, you know what? I think… I think I have… These are kind of medium names because I have no idea who some of these people are.
Katherine, any suggestions for aspirational greatness in our little show?
KATHERINE
Alright, I was thinking… Juno Birch?
WILLIAM
Dang it, now I have to do it again!
CALEB
I have to do it, too.
KATHERINE
I’m obsessed with her?
HANNAH
Tell me about Juno Birch. What’s she like?
KATHERINE
Well, she’s a drag queen.
HANNAH
(gasp)
JV
And blue! Extremely blue!
KATHERINE
Yeah!
(laughs)
WILLIAM
Oh my gosh.
JV
So blue! Ah!
HANNAH
Juno, I’m so glad I have you on this show. Please don’t swear. Stop swearing.
JV
(laughs)
KATHERINE
(laughs)
HANNAH
I think we could use some more drag on this show, I think. I don’t know how you’d represent that in a non-visual medium, but we could figure it out.
KATHERINE
Her… her voice is pretty unique?
HANNAH
Oh!
JV
To that… to that end, if we’re recommending drag queens, also Katya.
KATHERINE
Yeah.
HANNAH
This goes without saying. That would be so amazing.
WILLIAM
Kira, what sort of talent do you think should be in our show? And is it anyone I’ve heard of?
KIRA
Actually, I was going to say, since I’m still dreaming of the Inn Between musical episode, you know, a la Rose from the Bright Sessions. You know, some… some singing person, maybe a Broadway person, or even maybe another kind of RPG-adjacent person like I know, in Critical Role, Laura Bailey sings and that sort of stuff, so…
HANNAH
Ooh! These names are also too big for me!
(laughs)
WILLIAM
Sorry, when you said Broadway, I just thought… “Hugh Jackman?”
HANNAH
You’re not wrong!
KIRA
Mhm.
WILLIAM
Mhm!
HANNAH
Actually, this is a good segue into the next question. Will, will you go ahead and read the next question?
WILLIAM
You know, I saw this one coming and I’m like, “man, do you know what’s going on here?” Okay, let’s see, from Hannah, no, not our Hannah: “Ever considered a musical episode?”
KIRA
(cackles)
QUIN
(giggles)
HANNAH
Uh! No! No! I can’t write music! No! I can’t even write lyrics, guys! No! Help!
CALEB
Oh, that’s fair.
JV
Oh my god!
QUIN
You could do a really fun jukebox musical.
HANNAH
(dubious noise)
Yeah, who’s going to give me the rights?
KIRA
You need miles of rights!
(laughs)
CALEB
Mhm.
QUIN
Yeah, true.
JV
A crossover with that one audio drama that was a musical. I didn’t listen to it, but I know that… I know that it’s good. Do you all remember that?
CALEB
Oh, yeah, the one that was all over the Audioverse Awards?
KIRA
In Strange Woods?
HANNAH
Are you talking about In Strange Woods or are you talking about The Flame? Because I know they were there too.
JV
I forgot which one. I think The Flame was the one that I heard about? But the other one… Either of them really. Though, granted, by title alone?
HANNAH
Okay, Lauren Shippen is—
JV
(laughs)
By title alone, In Strange Woods, probably.
HANNAH
Lauren Shippen is maybe not too big of a name for me to work with.
QUIN
(laughs)
KIRA
It’s possible, that! There’s a lot of six degrees of separation from this show and… and, you know.
CALEB
I mean, hey, Lauren Shippen was in Jim Robbie. I think that you could probably get Lauren Shippen.
(laughs)
HANNAH
Lauren Shippen works with iHeart now. I don’t know.
CALEB
Oh… Fair. That was the iHeartRadio.
JV
But… Mm.
WILLIAM
I don’t trust them.
HANNAH
I also don’t trust them, they’re a monopoly.
JV
Oh, that is fair.
HANNAH
Alright. Last question from Ellie and Kate: “What would you say to your character if you met them?”
WILLIAM
(excitedly)
Oh, this one again!
Can I just say, if I ran into Riddle Goblin, I’d say, “Here, buddy, here’s a fiver. I’ll be on my way.”
I will pay the tribute.
JV
(through laughter)
I feel like… there’s the comedic answer that is also slightly true which, depends on the moment at which I am meeting them, I feel like if I met them real early, I would have said, “ACAB, baby!”
And then just left!
KIRA
(laughs)
JV
But that…
(laughs)
That would be that. Though, I think in like a… Hm. In a slightly more… “Seriously, what would I say though?”
It would be a bit of… A pat on the back and say…
“The universe is never actually going to fully make sense, love. It just won’t. Just sit with that and just keep… But plan for it to not make any sense, and you should be fine.”
HANNAH
I love that.
JV
Plan for chaos and you’ll never be horrifically surprised.
KIRA
Expect the unexpected.
WILLIAM
I’m already starting to see a parallel with our last answers to this, but I’d like to hear everyone else before I mention it.
HANNAH
Yeah.
WILLIAM
Kira, what would you have to say?
KIRA
I would have… I would have absolutely nothing to say.
WILLIAM
(laughs)
KIRA
I think we, you know, we would just hang out. And, you know, no notes. Keep on doing you a hundred percent. You… You’re killing it.
CALEB
Damn.
WILLIAM
I say yours is a character with much less baggage going on.
KIRA
Yeah.
QUIN
(laughs)
That’s true!
WILLIAM
Yeah!
KIRA
Rare baggage… Fairly baggage-free character.
HANNAH
Amazing what a character with family, friends and a good support system will do!
KIRA
Oh, dip! Ain’t that… Ain’t that the way? Ain’t that just the way?
CALEB
Mhm!
KIRA
But, yeah, no words for Cybilene. Keep on keepin’, girl.
WILLIAM
Quin, what words of… conversation, wisdom, maybe just paling around… What do you have for Zara?
QUIN
(tired sigh)
I don’t know if she’d listen to me.
(laughs)
Laughter.
QUIN
I’d probably just tell her that… what other people think about you doesn’t define you and it doesn’t have to define you. And just saying that it doesn’t define you doesn’t mean that it doesn’t actually make you feel like it defines you.
(laughs)
So…
Also, these people do actually love you and, if you love them back, it’s going to feel more real a lot faster.
HANNAH
Aw…
WILLIAM
Mm… That’s beautiful!
HANNAH
I love that. Well, hey, everyone…
WILLIAM
Caleb, would you like to share yours again?
CALEB
Say again?
WILLIAM
I was just wondering if you’d like to share yours again.
CALEB
Oh, yeah. I… have a slightly different answer for a slightly different, like… period, I guess?
WILLIAM
Ooh!
CALEB
A little earlier in Castor’s life, I would probably… tell him that the truth is always going to be less painful than… lies.
HANNAH
Mm.
CALEB
Because I think that lying is a lot of what he did…
(laughs)
(continued)
… in the beginning, and it would have solved a lot of problems!
WILLIAM
(laughs)
HANNAH
(laughs)
(softly)
Well, hey, thank you all for joining us for this Q&A, and—and thank you, listeners, for listening to it and sending in all of your great questions! Uhm, shoutout…
WILLIAM
I do… I do really want to say, though. I do really want to say—
HANNAH
Oh!
WILLIAM
Before you shoutout anyone else, Hannah?
HANNAH
Yes?
WILLIAM
What would you say to Tessa?
HANNAH
Uh…
(blows air)
“Write to your daughter.”
Laughter.
JV
Oof.
WILLIAM
(laughs)
Alright, I apologize for interrupting. Carry on, carry on.
Background music fades in.
HANNAH
That’s okay. Yeah! I’m—alright! So, shoutout to the two and… you know, probably more folks who will end up sending in questions too late for me to add them to the list. I’m so sorry, I did my best for you all.
And, of course, thank you for listening, for joining us. As usual, keep listening to this show! We got more stuff for you until we hit season five! Look forward to it! Follow this feed, etcetera! Like and subscribe… gamers!
(through laughter)
I’m going to go before this gets worse.
JV
Like and subscribe…
Laughter fades out.
Music fades out.
CREDITS:
HANNAH
The Q&A episode was edited and beautified by our own Katherine Ayers. The background music is Orcs Want the Funk by Nat Bree.
Keep a look out for Hit the Deck, a very special episode coming soon to this feed! It’s going to be so good!
See you soon!
EPISODE ENDS.