Time for our crowdfund announcement! It’ll go down smooth with our bloopers from season four.
Transcript is below the cut!
Transcript provided by Ria Couoh.
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(00:00) INTRO:
HANNAH
Hi, everyone! Hannah here.
Our long hiatus is at last coming to an end, and I’m excited to bring you all back into the Inn with our bloopers from season four!
It’s also, as is tradition, the announcement of our season five crowdfund!
We are raising $5000 for season five, and our goal this season is to pay everyone.
Now, we always pay our actors and our transcriber, and Katherine Ayers, our audio wizard, does make money from the Patreon, but Katherine’s pay isn’t up to industry standard, and Assistant Director William and I have never taken a paycheck.
This time, we want to make sure that not only is everyone paid for their time and work, we want to make sure they’re paid fairly.
And listen, we don’t expect you to contribute for nothing! There are so many cool rewards for contributors, like a gorgeous new sticker design by Han Trenkle, a D&D one-shot, an Inn Between Zine, a Goblin’s Head mug, and more!
So, if you want to support the inn, go to Crowdfundr.com/InnBetween5. That’s crowdfund, the letter r, dot com, slash inn between five. We’ve got a link in the show notes too.
We run through August 19th, so don’t wait!
Now onto the bloopers! Remember, although the rest of our show is clean, this blooper reel contains swears and some suggestive jokes.
So…
Watch out! And have fun! And thank you!
(01:08) BLOOPER 1.
“The Sleeping Bugbear” by Dee Jan Key plays softly in the background.
HANNAH
“Atten—”
WILLIAM
(imitating Sam Nguyen)
(in a deeper, mellow tone)
“Attention, attention, esteemed patrons of the Goblin’s Head!”
HANNAH
That’s a pretty good Sam impression, Will.
QUIN
(chuckles)
WILLIAM
I was just so excited to be Sam for a second.
Everyone laughs.
HANNAH
Who wouldn’t be?
CALEB
(with fake, exaggerated outrage)
You can’t be him, Will!
HANNAH
You will never be him!
CALEB
How dare you—?
ANTHONY
How dare you stand where he stood?
CALEB
How dare you stand where he stood?
(01:34) BLOOPER 2.
LUCY
I was trying really hard to, like, get myself to burp during the eating bit of the last episode!
(laughs)
QUIN
(laughs)
LUCY
I was trying so hard to get, like, one, like, good little burp in there! For like the, “This is really good actually!”
But, like, now I just have an air bubble in my stomach, and I can feel it?
ARRIANNA
Oh no!
HANNAH
You’re a monster, why would you do this to Katherine?
(echoing)
Why would you do this to Katherine?
TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: Why would you do this to me?
HANNAH
Yeah, Redux.
LUCY
(burps)
QUIN
Oh, good, thank you for that.
ANTHONY
Here we go. There comes the burp!
WILLIAM
Alright, and the Oscar goes to…!
LUCY
Honestly, that’s nothing. They’re usually much more impressive.
(02:15) BLOOPER 3.
HANNAH
(as Tessa)
“Next time, on Inn Between…”
LUCY
(burps)
QUIN
(giggling)
HANNAH
I swan to John. Lucy! Lucy, was that you?
JV
Wow.
ANTHONY
Oh, wow.
LUCY
Yeah?
JV
Wow.
WILLIAM
Yeah, I’m excited for the next time, you know?
(02:31) BLOOPER 4.
LUCY
Oh, I think we did really miss out on a chance on being able to call Lady Luck “Miss Fortune” at least once.
JV
(gasps)
ANTHONY
Oh my god, yes.
HANNAH
You guys are not allowed to be funnier than me! Get off the call!
(laughs)
JV
(chuckles)
(02:46) BLOOPER 5.
HANNAH
Uh… JV, I cannot believe you’ve done this. We literally need you right now.
CALEB
(laughs)
LUCY
Gosh.
JV
(apologetic, strained)
I’m so sorry, I noticed I was wheezing, and I need my inhaler.
HANNAH
(quickly)
Okay, fine! We’ll—
Everyone laughs.
CALEB
(cackles)
JV
(amused)
Literally because it directly impacts the quality of audio that I do—
HANNAH
I suppose!
WILLIAM
Please!
HANNAH
Yeah, no, go… go ahead!
JV
Alright.
HANNAH
I was joking, please do!
WILLIAM
Oh, boo-hoo, I need to breathe!
CALEB
How dare you fucking do this to me?
LUCY
(laughs)
(03:17) BLOOPER 6.
HANNAH
I did research for this episode because the last thing I want to do is alienate twins. Uhm, seems like a weird subgroup to alienate, but it’s possible.
CALEB
(laughs)
ANTHONY
(chuckles)
WILLIAM
Hey, the twins have had enough of being put down, Hannah! The twins have had enough.
HANNAH
I just…! I wanted to make sure that, like—
CALEB
(fake offended)
They’ve been micro aggressed enough!
LUCY
(mock aggressive)
I think that twins have had it too easy for too long!
JV
I can’t!
LUCY
We need to oppress them harder!
(03:48) BLOOPER 7.
ANTHONY
(as Tode)
“You know, wildland is a bit of misnomeanor.”
HANNAH
Nope.
ANTHONY
“Even here.”
(as himself)
Uh, what?
HANNAH
Misnomer.
CALEB
(chuckling)
Misdemeanor.
ANTHONY
Misnomer, okay.
HANNAH
(amused)
Mis-no-mean-or.
(03:57) BLOOPER 8.
HANNAH
Okay, yeah. Episode 4.9. It’s at this point I get to point out that we are doing episode 6 and 9 today. Nice. And…
(04:07) BLOOPER 9.
HANNAH
(as Tessa)
“Nice of you to join us. You know, we do have beds.”
SAM
(as Killiker)
“Such as mine.”
LUCY
YES!
HANNAH
Oh my gosh.
JV
Ooh! Wait a minute!
ARRIANNA
Seriously?
JV
Oh my god…
WILLIAM
She snaps up!
HANNAH
Things have taken a turn.
(04:23) BLOOPER 10.
LUCY
Sorry, I didn’t realize until the end of this take, but, like, are you okay with how, like, borderline flirtatious Rosie has been with Killiker and Max?
HANNAH
I kind of do, actually! That’s cool—
SAM
(chuckles)
LUCY
Okay, cool, because I was doing it… I was, like, Hannah, you can’t give me smooth voiced characters with loose morals and not expect my legs to open, you just can’t!
JV
(laughs)
SAM
(undistinguishable)
JV
Oh my god!
HANNAH
Am I talking to Lucy or Rosie at this point?
(laughs)
(04:51) BLOOPER 11.
WILLIAM
Yup, that makes sense. Was that about miserable enough for your liking, Hannah?
HANNAH
Uh, could be more miserable.
CALEB
(laughing)
More miserable!
ARRIANNA
(with exaggerated despair)
More misery.
JV
Gotta let that misery shine.
LUCY
Sorry, but you need to up your suffering at least ten percent.
(05:09) BLOOPER 12.
JV
(as Knowles)
“Rosie, where are you?”
Background music fades out.
LUCY
(as Rosie)
(sing-song, ghostlike)
“Wouldn’t you like to know…?”
JV
“Uh-uh, this cave is haunted.”
HANNAH
(laughs)
(05:20) BLOOPER 13.
CALEB
(as Castor)
(strained)
“Uh, mortals…?”
HANNAH
A little less…
(amused)
A little less Scooby Doo.
WILLIAM
Mhm.
QUIN
(giggles)
ANTHONY
(chuckles)
HANNAH
On that read, please, Caleb.
CALEB
(undistinguishable)
“Like, zoinks, Scoob!”
ROSIE
“Jeebers…”
ANTHONY
(imitates dog grunting)
Everyone laughs.
(05:37) BLOOPER 13.
HANNAH
Fricking Saint Cuthbert, nobody likes Saint Cuthbert!
ARRIANNA
Aw…
HANNAH
Listen, no, it’s not because he’s… he’s like—
LUCY
All my homies hate Saint Cuthbert!
HANNAH
(laughs)
(05:51) BLOOPER 14.
SAM
(as Killiker)
“When you lose your boyfriend so violently, just like I did…”
HANNAH
(laughs)
SAM
(sighs)
“The world becomes a much darker place.”
HANNAH
Just—
MALCOLM
Should’ve backed him up!
Everyone laughs.
(06:04) BLOOPER 15.
HANNAH
(as Lady Luck)
“And you don’t want me to take even one single action to make sure you don’t make it to the Glacial Caverns, right?”
JV
(as Knowles)
(sighs)
“Well—”
LUCY
Sorry, Hannah, I’m going to need that line again?
HANNAH
(as herself)
Yeah, no, fight me. I’m not an actor.
JV
Oh my god…
HANNAH
Get out of my house!
JV
(giggles)
Jesus!
(06:23) BLOOPER 16.
HANNAH
William, would you be the adventurers?
WILLIAM
It would be my pleasure.
HANNAH
Thank you.
WILLIAM
Let me swallow this gum.
(beat)
Okay, I’m good.
(06:35) BLOOPER 17.
LUCY
God, but no, it messes me up so bad that, like, gators are fast, every time I think about it.
HANNAH
That’s… yes, mhm.
LUCY
Like, that shouldn’t be allowed.
QUIN
(giggles)
WILLIAM
Honestly, I get a little bummed out when I hear that roughly every animal is faster than humans.
HANNAH
(laughs)
LUCY
Yeah.
CALEB
Yeah…
LUCY
But, like, especially gators. Because you look at them and they look like they would just be…
WILLIAM
Yeah.
LUCY (singing)
Bom-bom-bom-bom-bo-bom—
ANTHONY
They’ve got those tiny little arms.
LUCY
Short!
(07:03) BLOOPER 18.
HANNAH
Yeah, I think that Castor’s actually feeling kind of good about life!
CALEB
Oh, okay! Yeah, I… My default with him is to just…
(exaggerating shakiness)
Make his voice sha-ah-ah-ky…
So…
HANNAH
(chuckles)
SAM
I think Castor’s winning and should stay winning, you know?
HANNAH
(laughs)
ANTHONY
(chuckles)
LUCY
Castor’s that meme of like, “Where do you work out?” “The library.”
HANNAH
(laughs)
QUIN
(chuckles)
CALEB
Stop!
(07:26) BLOOPER 19.
HANNAH
Gosh!
SAM
You see, before Killiker was a well-travelled bard, he was a… uh…
Everyone laughs.
SAM
He simply was a… singer. For a small independent group. In a small town.
JV
Aw.
SAM
Where he worked a side job as a tavern— a young, apprentice tavern keeper.
HANNAH
Adorable!
SAM
He was only there because they would allow him to make his noisy, noisy music in the middle of the night.
JV
I…
SAM
When no one else would.
JV
Backstory.
HANNAH
(undistinguishable)
WILLIAM
It was a burger tavern… We can’t have restaurants in fantasy times, they’re taverns.
SAM
No, they were all taverns.
JV
No public houses…?
SAM
(high pitched and nasal)
“Hello!”
JV
Oh, god!
SAM
“This is Killiker of the Silver Tongues!”
JV
I feel attacked. I feel personally attacked.
SAM
“One, two, one, two, three, four!”
JV
I feel…
WILLIAM
(cackles)
(08:24) BLOOPER 20.
CALEB
(as Castor)
“Is he… you know…?”
QUIN
(as Zara)
(annoyed)
“Yes, Castor, he’s a tiefling too.”
JV
(as Knowles)
“Oh… Alright, fine. This is a pattern now.”
HANNAH
I’m so sorry, we have to back up. “Yes, Castor, he’s a tiefling too.” Please.
LUCY
(laughing)
Is he, you know…?
HANNAH
Might be!
QUIN
(laughs)
I mean, what is a tiefling if not a perpetual bisexual disaster?
LUCY
You’re right, and you should say it.
JV
Okay!
(09:04) BLOOPER 21.
LUCY
(as Rosie)
“We have to start eliminating the competition then. All of them.”
KIRA
(as Cybilene)
“Oh, hello, Tode!”
ANTHONY
(as Tode)
“All of them?”
LUCY
All of them, Tode!
HANNAH
(laughing)
Watch your back, Cybilene!
KIRA
(giggles)
(09:24) BLOOPER 22.
LUCY
(as Rosie)
“Oh, it’s from this old story!”
JV
(as Knowles)
“You want to tell it, Castor?”
CALEB
(as Castor)
“Oh, no, I’m not much of a storyteller, I like to read…”
JV
(chuckles)
LUCY
(amused)
I read the books, I don’t read the books out loud!
HANNAH
How dare you suggest I read books aloud?
QUIN
If that ain’t a mood, though.
JV
(laughs)
(09:50) BLOOPER 23.
HANNAH
(as Tessa)
“Next time, on Inn Between.”
WILLIAM
(throaty and deep)
(flatly)
Oh, no, not a freak hailstorm.
Everyone laughs.
(10:04) BLOOPER 24.
LUCY
So, would you all like to make the very good joke I made to Hannah about this episode title?
CALEB
Mm?
LUCY
Like, forever ago?
HANNAH
Oh, that one.
ARRIANNA
Yeah!
HANNAH
Yes, go on.
LUCY
So, the episode… So, Stella is The Outfitter, and I was like, “Hannah, if—if drow live underground, does that make Stella a Sub-Urban Outfitter?”
ARRIANNA
Wow. Wow.
Everyone laughs.
JV
I am upset.
LUCY
Byeee!
JV
I am… filled with upset…
(10:35) BLOOPER 25.
HANNAH
I think Castor is more than a little willing to buy into the fiction of the psychic.
CALEB
Mhm!
SCOTTYE
(as Confoundo)
“It’s not fiction!”
(10:50) BLOOPER 26.
MALCOLM
(as Max)
“What I always do… bounce back.”
A beat.
HANNAH
So menacing!
WILLIAM
Woof!
LUCY
Oooh, yes!
ANTHONY
Whoa!
JV
I live!
QUIN
Dun, dun, dun!
KIRA
Excellent!
JV
Oh…
ANTHONY
Post credits scene, right there, yeah.
QUIN
Yeah, I know!
SAM
(as Killiker)
“Cybilene, I’ve come to recognize that my ex may be a little bit of an evil villain.”
Everyone laughs.
HANNAH
I mean!
LUCY
We love a good lovers to enemies!
QUIN
Absolutely!
(11:20) BLOOPER 26.
“The Sleeping Bugbear” by Dee Yan Kee starts.
LUCY
Yeah, this has been, like, the highlight of my past couple of years.
ANTHONY
Aw.
LUCY
And I’ve really enjoyed being a part of this team. You’re all really great at what you do and you’re all going to be amazing!
HANNAH
It’s true!
LUCY
I just… I’m going to miss you guys a lot!
QUIN
Same.
ARRIANNA
Same!
(11:40) OUTRO:
(11:41) CREDITS:
HANNAH
This episode was edited and beautified by Katherine Ayers and transcribed by Ria Couoh.
It featured our wonderful cast members: Caleb del Rio, Quin Leigh, Anthony Morales, Lucille Valentine, JV Hampton-VanSant, Arrianna Abraham, Kira Apple, Malcolm Jay, Scottye Moore, and Sam B. Nguyen, and our inimitable assistant director William Wright, as well as me, Hannah Wright.
Don’t forget to go to Crowdfundr.com/InnBetween5 to support our next season! We can’t wait to show you what we’ve got in store. See you soon!
“The Sleeping Bugbear” fades out.
Episode ends.