I think I said at some point that I was never going to write about the thing that happens at the end of this story. And I still haven’t. Because I got sidetracked by messy emotional issues. As I am wont to do.
In any case, enjoy this story about Sterling, Knowles, and very polite disagreements.
*
Sterling looked at the neat pile of armor on his desk, fastidiously tied up in twine, shined to perfection. It reminded him of a serving tray of dishes, although lifting such a tray would require balance or skill, while this breastplate full of armor pieces looked very secure, if heavy. No loose ends.
“You’re leaving us?” Sterling repeated to Sergeant—well, former Sergeant Knowles.
“Yes, sir,” Knowles said, their posture absolutely perfect as always. They were wearing new armor, cheaper but newer, a chain shirt and some pieces of plate in amongst street clothes. They looked directly behind Sterling’s head, as always. Sterling wasn’t sure they ever looked him in the eye.
“We only just got you back,” Sterling said, half to himself. It would be nigh impossible to replace Knowles—why, that was precisely why Sterling had selected them for the mission to Belling. Based on Knowles’ report, Sterling had been exactly right to do so. But now…
“Apologies, sir,” Knowles said stiffly.
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” Sterling said carefully. “You’ve fulfilled your obligations, completely, and I accept your resignation, however hesitantly. But…I’d like to ask why.”
“Hard to explain, sir,” Knowles said. Sterling waited for more, but there didn’t seem to be any.
“You don’t need to call me sir,” Sterling said. Perhaps that was the problem. “I’m not your employer anymore, evidently.”
It was at this point, for the first time Sterling knew them, that Knowles looked Sterling directly in the eye. “Are you sure about that, Lord Whitetower?”
Ah, right. Sterling had fallen greatly in the estimation of the peerage, and the person he spent the most time with was Meltyre, so he’d forgotten. He was still an aristocrat.
“Not much of a lord,” Sterling said, a little quietly. “Not much of anything, anymore.” He was still a paladin of St. Cuthbert, in his heart and soul, but only St. Cuthbert recognized that. And a little self-effacing would put Knowles at ease. “Please, you can speak freely. I won’t be offended.”
Knowles considered carefully. Running odds, no doubt.
“Won’t you have a seat?” Sterling encouraged.
And a new marvel: Knowles’ posture relaxed. They pulled out the chair in front of Sterling’s desk and took a pose that Sterling associated with workmen after a long day, lounging in a tavern. “Do you know what it’s like to be poor, milord?”
“You don’t need to carry on with all that, either,” Sterling said, turning to the little table where his jug of water sat and pouring himself a cup. He offered one to Knowles too.
Knowles accepted. “Calling you anything else would be very strange.”
Sterling shrugged. “Good enough, then. I don’t, no, I have been lucky.”
“Lucky,” Knowles said thoughtfully. “I suppose so. Do you know what it is to be alone?”
Sterling nodded. “That I know.”
“Then you know something of what it was like for me when I joined the guard,” Knowles said. They took a drink of water, pausing. “I had a twin. And other siblings. They had all died.”
“Oh gods,” Sterling said, taken aback.
“And then my mother went as well,” Knowles went on. “So I joined the guard. Even though it was a bit of a betrayal of the things I grew up doing and knowing.”
“Why was it a betrayal?” Sterling wondered.
“Because nobody likes the guard,” Knowles said, turning their cup in their hand carefully, deliberately. “They are bullies, and often thieves, and even if they’re just trying to enforce law, that means enforcing rules that my sort of people had no part in making. Rules that put us out, or that we unfairly carry the brunt of. You see?”
This stirred a little outrage in Sterling’s gut, but he’d promised Knowles he wouldn’t be offended. Instead of correcting Knowles, he said, “If that’s so, why did you join?”
“Because I wanted to be lucky for once,” Knowles said, shrugging. “It wasn’t a good reason at the time.”
“Surely, if the guard was so bad, you could show them how to be better,” Sterling attempted.
“They don’t reward such things,” Knowles said dryly.
“Then—when you moved from city guard to palace guard, surely then—”
“Oh, that was an entirely different problem,” they replied, almost amused. “Because then, rather than using the law as a weapon, I was encouraged to ignore it for the members of the royalty. And I did.”
“Why would you do that?” Sterling felt a little blindsided, but he couldn’t let go of this now.
“So I didn’t have to think.” Knowles took a long drink of their water. “So I didn’t have to lose anything else.”
Sterling’s brow furrowed. He was still determined not to be offended, but he couldn’t help but speak in favor of his new calling. “I think of it more as…protecting the Princess. Her, above anything else. If we can do so by enforcing her law, then all the better.”
“That wasn’t a common sentiment round about the end of Broderick’s reign,” Knowles said. “What will you do if our Princess ends up like her father, milord? Will you stand by her then?”
The question weighed heavy. Sterling hadn’t considered it before.
“I think I see,” he said finally. “And I don’t fault you.”
“Well that’s good, at least,” Knowles said, with a glint of merriment in their eye. They placed the cup down on his desk. “Thank you for the water, milord. But I should get back to my friends.”
“Of course.” The two of them stood, and Sterling placed the cup back behind him before reaching out to shake Knowles’ hand. “I wish you the best, of course. May I…buy you a drink, perhaps? To send you off?”
Knowles smiled, a genuine and honest smile. “Now that would certainly ruin our reputations.”
This surprised Sterling enough to make him laugh.
“I appreciate the sentiment, sir, but we’re leaving soon, almost right away,” Knowles gave as a real answer. “But you can come out and say hello, if you want.”
“I think I will.” Sterling followed Knowles as they turned, walking with them through the guardhouse and then across the palace grounds. Knowles had changed, but Sterling had a sneaking suspicion that there were bits of them that Sterling had never seen. Certainly Sterling knew they ran odds and gambled regularly for fun, but he’d never use the word “fun” to describe Knowles’ demeanor normally.
But now, Knowles’ needle-straight posture had relaxed, and they were whistling as they walked.
“You seem happier,” Sterling commented. “A bit lighter, maybe.”
“Does that come through?” Knowles said airily. “I am happier. And lighter.”
“What do you plan to do next?”
“Not sure, specifically. In general, we’re going adventuring.”
“The entire crew?” Sterling asked, a little taken aback.
“And we picked up a rival crew as well,” Knowles laughed. “It’s different. And strange. But good, I think.”
Sterling knew for a fact that Knowles was older than him, but he was still proud of them.
The two of them strolled out to the courtyard by the gate, where Sterling could see Zara chatting with Meltyre, and the rest of the crew as well, plus a few others, another gnome who looked like she could be Tode’s sister, and…
Sterling froze, still out of earshot of the Crew. “Who is that?”
Knowles looked over to follow his eyeline. “What, Killiker? He’s…” Knowles trailed off, and then looked back to Sterling, and then back to the elf. “Uh…”